I'm a Big Ugly Clown[]
- I'm a — I'm a...
- Big, ugly clown-o;
- A big, sad, ugly clown — ohhhhh...
Ruth McCarmen[]
- I'm Ruth McCarmen, and awfully charmin' —
- I guess you noticed by the way you stare;
- You're not bad, either — let's take a breather,
- And we can talk about my auburn hair!
Chorus
- Her auburn hair — you're standing there!
- Why don't you introduce yourself to Ruth?
- She's like a flower blossom!
- I know — she's wicked awesome!
- Come on Arnold, it's the moment of truth!
Arnold Habanera (Don Arnold)[]
- My name's Don Arnold...please have a caramel;
- Your hair is lovely — do you like my pants?
- They're made of satin; the cape's pure Latin —
- I had it tailored in the south of France!
Chorus
- The south of France — your satin pants;
- Why don't you ask the lady for a dance?
Stinky
- It's time for your decision!
Sid
- It's almost intermission!
Gerald
- Hey, Arnold — you better ask her to dance!
Ride of BrunHelga[]
- Ruth is a lightweight — a giggling geek-bait;
- I need to thrash her — that's what I said!
- Ruth is a loser! How could you choose her?
- How could you do that, football head?
Chorus
- Football head! Football head!
Helga
- To show my contempt, her picture I shred!
Stinky
- Helga's a viking!
Sid
- Sure is exciting!
Helga
- I'm gonna thump her right on the head!
Arnold
- Oh yeah? How?
Helga
- With my golden magic slingshot!
Stinky
- Golden magic slingshot?
Sid
- Golden magic slingshot?
Gerald
- I thought it was spear and a magic helmet.
Helga
- No — with my golden magic slingshot!
- Doi!
Carm Helga[]
Arnold
- Ruth?!
Helga
- Ruth? Hmpfh!
- Just like I stated, she's overrated;
- A big no-brainer with enormous feet!
- Why not forget her? I'm so much better;
- My name's Carm Helga and I'm awfully sweet!
Chorus
- She's awfully sweet — such tiny feet!
- Her name's Carm Helga and you two should meet!
Helga
- Come join my band of gypsies!
Chorus
- We're touring fifty cities!
Helga
- With you, my gypsy band will be...
Chorus and Helga
- Complete!
Helga
- Perfect! What could possibly be better than this?
Curlamillo (Curly's Bullfights)[]
Curly
- Hold it!
Chorus girls
- Curlamillo! It's Curlamillo!
Curly
- Thank you very much!
- I'm so fine, the girls know I'm divine;
- The thing is, I'm sublime — it's really true, you know;
Chorus girls
- (Really true, you know.)
Curly
- Check out my cuspidor! I'm what you're looking for;
- Helga, won't you dump this guy and come to my bullfights?
Helga
- Bullfights, huh?
Curly
- Bullfights and swordfights, rolling in manure;
- Blows to the head, I can endure!
- Fighting bulls is all I want in life
- Plus I could use a wife,
Chorus girls
- (Use a wife)
Curly
- And several pairs of tights in shades of blue;
Chorus girls
- (sighs with pleasure)
- (In shades of blue)
Curly
- Helga, please say "I Do"!
Chorus girls
- (I Do!)
Hip Hopera (Carmen Rap Closing Credits)[]
Gerald
- The opera? What a waste of a good field trip!
Chorus
- Contests of brute strength, wrestling in the mud!
Gerald
- I'm looking for some music to listen to
Chorus
- Curly's the best;
Gerald
- That's right — tastes so good it's right
Chorus
- Arnold's a dud!
Gerald
- Figaro...
Chorus
- Helga, you should really get a clue;
Gerald
- Whatever you say — that's right — what's a Torero?
Chorus
- Curlamillo's for you!
- Arnold is last week's news —
- He's overdue;
Gerald
- Figaro-ro-ro-ro
Chorus
- Curly's the one...for you!
Gerald
- This is over!