The Journal/Transcript

Episode	Trivia	Goofs	Quotes	Transcript	Gallery	Credits

Act One

Arnold's dream

(Arnold and his parents are sailing on a ship)

Miles

Sure is good to be on this adventure, isn't it?

Stella

Especially since we're all together.

Miles

Yeah.

(Arnold drinks hot chocolate and a ship appears in the distance)

Arnold

(points ahead) Look, a ship.

Miles

(looks through a telescope and the flag on the boat appears to mean...) Pirates...

(The ship fires a cannonball; Miles grabs two swords)

Miles

Arnold! Stay at the helm, we'll deal with the pirates.

Stella

Don't worry, son, we'll be right back.

(Miles and Stella board the enemy ship, which fires more cannonballs at Arnold)

Arnold

Mom? Dad? (The sky clears, leaving an empty ocean) Mom! Dad! Come back! Come back!

Arnold's room

(Arnold wakes up so he gasps, sighs, and rips a calendar page, revealing the date: October 5. He then takes out a picture of his parents. While he is looking at it, there is a knock on the door)

Arnold

Come in.

Phil

Morning, Short Man.

Arnold

Hi, Grandpa.

Phil

I, um... brought you some breakfast.

Arnold

Thanks. That's really nice of you.

Phil

Sure. Do you want me to leave it here and you can... maybe eat it later?

Arnold

Uh, sure.

Phil

Okie dokie, then. If you need me or Grandma, we'll... we'll be around.

Arnold

Okay.

(Phil leaves the room. It is raining)

Boarding house stoop

(Arnold watches a toy ship. His classmates come by)

Harold

(off-screen) Hey, Arnooold!

Gerald

Come on, man, we're all going to Dinoland!

Helga

It's half-price day.

Stinky

Yeah, and they finally fixed the Tyrannoscare-us Rex roller coaster! We're all going to get in line!

(Everyone except Arnold cheers)

Arnold

No thanks.

(The gang is surprised at what Arnold said)

Harold

Whaat?

Helga

But it's half-price day! What are you holding out for, cheapskate? Football-heads-get-in-free day?

Arnold

I think I'm gonna hang out at home today. Have fun, you guys.

Helga

Huh, well, you're a barrel of laughs. Okay, fine, loser. Be that way. Come on, let's get to Dinoland before the ride breaks down again.

Harold

So long, loser.

(Everyone except Gerald leaves)

Gerald

Hey, Arnold, are you okay?

Arnold

Yeah...

Gerald

You sure?

Arnold

Well, it's just that today's the anniversary of the day my parents left... and never came back. (sniffs)

Gerald

I'm sorry, man. Hey, never mind what those guys said. They're just goofin', they don't know what's going on with you.

Arnold

I know. It's just that.. I wanna be by myself today, that's all.

Gerald

You sure you don't want some company?

Arnold

No thanks. Go on, Gerald. Have fun at Dinoland. Ride one for me, okay?

Gerald

Okay. Catch you later, Arnold.

(After Gerald leaves, Helga somehow left the gang and is hiding behind a car)

Helga

Ohh, Arnold, how could I mock you, on the saddest of anniversaries? How I long to repent my cruel words, and fill the empty space that resides within your heart. Oh, my poor, parentless beloved, look at you; waiting for something that cannot be. (takes out her locket) As you keep your silent vigil, I shall stand by you, unbeknownst, ever faithful, eternally true, and never abandoning you. (The car moves) Whoa!

(The car speeds away, making her fall into mud. She gets up and sticks her tongue out at Arnold)

Sunset Arms boarding house

(Small montage: Arnold flies his toy plane, goes back in, sits on the stoop again, sees a happy kid with his parents. He gets angry and goes upstairs. Phil and Gertie look worried while Arnold takes everything off his bulletin board and Phil comes upstairs to his room)

Phil

Hey, Short Man. What's going on?

Arnold

I'm packing up my parents' stuff.

Phil

Really? What for?

Arnold

So I can put it in the attic where it belongs.

Phil

Whaa-- (Arnold unfolds the ladder to the attic) Oh, I know you feel sad, Arnold. Your grandma and I feel sad, too.

Arnold

I'm just fed up, grandpa! I don't wanna think about my parents anymore. I'm sick of hoping that they'll come back someday.

Phil

Wait, you didn't give up on your memories, Arnold; that's who are important. You should celebrate 'em.

Arnold

It's time to move on.

(Arnold takes off his hat and Phil gasps)

Arnold

I don't wanna hear any more stories about my parents. (Arnold throws his hat into the box. As he places it on a shelf, something drops) What's this?

Phil

Well, looks like some kind of journal.

Arnold

Grandpa, it's my dad's...

Phil

Let me see. (looks at it) Holy cannoli, Short Man! You're right! Well, it's too bad you don't wanna hear any more stories, so I'll ju- (Arnold grabs the journal and goes back for his hat)

Arnold

I can't believe we found this!

Phil

Well, your dad must've written this stuff around the time he was in San Lorenzo.

Arnold

That's in Central America. I read all about it in school.

Phil

And don't forget about all the stories I've told ya.

Arnold

Yeah, I can't wait to find out what actually happened, and what parts you made up.

Phil

Made up?! What are you talking about, every story I ever told you is one hundred percent true, and this journal will prove it!

Gertie

Well, then let's read it. I made sandwiches.

Arnold

Great, I'm starving! (while chewing on a sandwich) Well, come on, Grandpa, read it! What's it say? What's it say?

Phil

All right, all right. Calm down. Chew a little before you swallow Arnold, (avoids the crumbs) and don't spill on the journal! It's a precious family relic. Okay, here goes. (starts reading) "March 15th. Today I met the woman I'm going to marry." Aww, that's sweet. Hope he's writing about your mom, Arnold.

Arnold

Grandpa.

San Lorenzo

Phil

(narrating) We met when I stumbled into a research party. I was out hiking with my college friend Eduardo, an anthropologist from San Lorenzo. I fell behind a groove.

(Miles stops walking as he gets a glimpse of a woman with another group. He dreamily stops at a ledge that makes him slip off and fall down where he stops)

Miles

(screams) Ow!

(Stella comes running)

Miles

Hi. I'm Miles. (lends a hand but a cracked sound hurts his arm after the fall) Ow.

Stella

(gasps, kneels down and grabs his arm) I'm Stella.

Phil

(interrupting the story while talking to Arnold) Stella. What a beautiful name. You know what that means, Short Man?

Arnold

(heard not in the story) No.

Phil

He was hoping you would. (continues narrating) She's a doctor and a botanist.

Stella

I'm down here studying the local plant life, looking for cures for jungle diseases. I wanna bring healthcare to all people, no matter where they live.

Phil

(narrating) She's amazing. So smart. I told her about my anthropology project, how I'm studying the local culture and helping communities improve the quality of their life. Hope she's impressed.

Miles

(hits his head on a branch) Ow.

Phil

(narrating) Hmm. Maybe she thinks I'm a goof. Oh, well, call me a romantic, but I think we're perfect for each other.

(Miles and Stella enter a temple)

Miles

Hey look. Oh, o-okay, I can read this. (reads the symbols in the cave) "This temple is dedicated to the sacred... spider?" (gasps)

(They run out of the temple)

Miles

I hate spiders, I hate spiders, I hate spiders!

Stella

Me too. Oh, but I love you. (kisses with him, notices there is a spider on his back and flicks it away)

(Cut to another area)

Phil

(narrating) Today I hiked with Stella to the highest point in the area. There's an amazing view from the top of the cliffs.

Stella

Who told you about this trail, anyway?

Miles

Eduardo.

Stella

Yeah, how come he didn't come with us?

Miles

He said it was really something you only wanna do once.

Stella

Oh, uh-huh. I'm gonna punch him when we get back.

Miles

If we get back.

(The ground below them collapses and they fall into rapids)

Miles

You okay?

Stella

Never better! What's that roaring noise?

(They see a waterfall, so they try swimming back for their lives)

Miles

Oh man.

Phil (narrating) It was Sapote Falls! We swam away from the cataract as hard as we could, but the current was way too strong.

Stella

I'm really gonna punch him when we get back!

Miles

Stella!

Stella

Miles!

Miles

I love you!

(They fall down the waterfall and into a net)

Stella

What... just happened?

Miles

Somebody saved us!

Stella

Who?

(A native runs away)

Miles

Hey, wait! Hold on! Espérate, we wanna thank you!

Phil

(narrating) Our mysterious savior was gone. But then, Stella saw his calling card on the wall. It was the symbol of the elusive Green-Eyed People; the original inhabitants of San Lorenzo. Thought to be a lost civilization like the Mayans, and the subject of many incredible stories, but who no outsider had ever seen.

Sunset Arms boarding house

(Back to the present)

Phil

(reading) "Clearly, the Green-Eyes saved our lives. Stella and I bowed to thank them somehow, to pay them back by some good deed of our own." Woooh!

Arnold

This is so cool! You told me stories about the Green-Eyed People.

Phil

Yes, the mysterious Green-Eyed People. Almost as mysterious as this sandwich. (to Gertie) What the heck's in this, Pookie?

Gertie

Oh, peanut butter and scrod. It's an old family recipe.

(Phil spits out the sandwich, Abner comes running and eats it)

Phil

Oh, Abner, stop acting like a pig!

(Phil drops the remaining sandwiches to the floor)

Arnold

Grandpa, can we get back to the story?

Phil

The butler did it. Oops! Gave away the ending!

(Gertie laughs)

Arnold

The story about the Green-Eyed People!

Gertie

(thinks) Aah, yes, the Green-Eyed People... Aren't they the people who installed our air conditioning? You know, I don't really trust them. I think they took the change I had in the cookie jar.

Phil

(being literal) No, Pookie. You're thinking of Oskar.

Gertie

Oh, am I?

Arnold

Can we please get back to the journal?

Phil

Okay, but first I gotta take a whiz like a race horse. (cracks his back) Anyone need anything from the kitchen while I'm gone?

Gertie

(demanding) I demand to see the chef! There's a fly in my soup!

Phil

(off-screen) Alright, I'll see what I can do about it.

(Arnold sighs)

(Fade to black)

Phil

(Sound of toilet flushing) Aah! Don't go in there for a while. Okay, back to your father's amazing journal. Let's see, where were we? (Arnold laughs) Ah!

San Lorenzo

Phil

(narrating) Monday: busy day. We learned from Eduardo that the evil river pirate, Lasombra, had stolen a sacred relic called The Corazón from the Green-Eyes. We figured that returning this precious artifact would be the perfect opportunity to pay the Green-Eyes back. So Stella and I tracked Lasombra down.

(Miles and Stella run through the jungle. Miles whips a branch over a waterfall)

Miles

Hang on. (swings to the other side)

Lasombra

NAAAAAH! You meddling do-gooder gringos! I'll get the Corazón back if it's the last thing I ever do!!

(Miles and Stella land on the other side. The Corazón starts glowing)

Miles

Wait! No, stop, don't look! We can't. They say it's too sacred.

Phil

(narrating) After days of searching in the remote interior of San Lorenzo, we came to a forested valley not found on any map. There, the Green-Eyes had built one of their stone shrines that marked the borders of their ancient realm.

(They place The Corazón on the shrine. It disappears and leaves a small object behind)

Phil

(narrating) The Green-Eyed People were so grateful for the return of their precious Corazón, that they accepted us as members of their family.

Sunset Arms boarding house

(Back to the present)

Phil

(continuing previous narration) "I even hoped they would invite us to their hidden city. But they're still too secretive."

Arnold

Their hidden city? Where's that?

Phil

I don't know, Arnold. That's why they call it "the hidden city", it's hidden, see? Can I please continue?

Arnold

Sure, Grandpa. Read on.

Phil

Oh! Oh, this is good. Hoho, you're gonna like this. Your dad just asked your mom to marry him.

Arnold

Wow! And she said "Yes", right?

Phil

Let's see. Actually, she said "No thank you". The end. Roll credits.

Arnold

Grandpa!

Phil

Okay, okay, she said yes. And the wedding was set for the following month, which brings us to our next chapter. "It was a beautiful, tranquil day in--

Gertie

(interrupts and the background changes to England) Jolly-old England! Eager crowds packed the London streets. Your mother arrived in a horse-drawn carriage. The diamonds in her tiara sparkling. Your father, resplendent with his gold-tip sword, escorted her into Saint Paul's Cathedral, where he--

Phil

(interrupting her) Pookie! (back to the present) That was Prince Charles and Lady Diana's wedding, you crazy nincompoop! Now, be quiet and stop interrupting the story! (she sits on Phil's laps) As I was saying, "It was a beautiful, tranquil day in the rainforest of San Lorenzo."

San Lorenzo/Wedding

Phil

(continuing previous narration) My family and friends came from all over the world and gathered together at an ancient Mayan temple. We waited nervously for the arrival of the most anticipated person of them all - the reason we were all assembled, the focus of the whole event, my beloved, talented, handsome father - Phil!

(The whole camera screen pans to Phil who is in the story)

Arnold

(annoyed, while heard outside the background of the story) Grandpa.

Phil

(breaking the fourth wall) Heh-heh. Just seeing if you're paying attention, Arnold.

(Stella arrives on a boat in her wedding dress. The flower girls release butterflies to fly around, as Eduardo escorts the bride to the groom)

Miles

Wow. You look amazing. (gives her the flowers)

Stella

You're not so bad yourself.

(The groom and bride walk up to the alter)

Phil

(narrating) The ceremony began, and as we exchanged our vows, Eduardo translated for those who weren't familiar with the local dialect.

Local Priest

(reads a scroll unknown South American dialect) Miles. (continues speaking) Stella. (speaks for a long time)

Eduardo

Do you, Miles, take Stella to be your wife?

Miles

I do.

Local Priest

(claps for a local to bring him an even bigger scroll, then reads until night)

Eduardo

Do you, Stella, take Miles to be your husband?

Stella

(she and Miles get up from the floor) I do.

Local Priest

Chak-a Mat-a.

Eduardo

By the power invested in me, as an ordain minister of the glorious Republic of San Lorenzo, I now pronounce you, Mr. and Mrs.--

(The story was interrupted by an off-screen belch)

Sunset Arms boarding house

(Back in the present)

Phil

Pookie! I told you to go easy on the frijoles!

Gertie

Oh! Sorry!

San Lorenzo/Wedding

Eduardo

You may now kiss the bride.

(The bride and groom passionately kiss, but all of a sudden, the ground starts shaking)

Miles

Oh, it's like I can feel the earth moving under my feet.

Stella

I know. I felt it, too. (they kiss again)

Eduardo

(grabs the priest as the guests scream) Take cover amigos! We're having a temblor! An earthquake!

(Rock structures collapse)

Stella

Oh well. At least the cake is okay.

Phil

(emerges from the cake) It's more than okay. It's delicious.

(Later that night during the reception...)

Phil

(narrating) Undorted by the surprise visit from Mother Nature, the reception continued until the wee hours. It was quite a time.

Gertie

(does a conga line along with the other guests) Woo-woo! Woo-woo! Here comes the train! (laughs)

(Miles and Stella are seen dancing as they are now a married couple)

Phil

(narrating) Even the Green-Eyed People showed up. Of course, none of us actually saw them.

Miles

What is it?

Stella

(sees a baby pig wrapped up in a blanket in a basket floating in the water) It's a piglet. Wh-From the Green-Eyed People.

Miles

(as Stella picks up and maternally cradles the pig) Oh, I've heard about this. It's a tradition. It's meant to bring good luck.

Eduardo

Why didn't you get the pig before the earthquake?

Phil

(wearing a barbeque hat and wheeling a barbeque grill) Well, what are we waiting for? Let's fire up the grill! (opens the pot)

(The pig fearfully squeals at the thought)

Stella

(instinctively protects the piglet) No, no, we can't eat her! She's a gift! (then affectionately looks at the now smiling pig) And she's cute!

Phil

(madly) Not that cute. (puts the lid back on and leaves as he takes off his hat)

Stella

I wanna keep her. As a pet. What do you think, Miles?

Miles

I think it's a great idea.

Stella

Good. We'll call her Isabelle.

Miles

(takes a better look at the pig) On second thought, why don't we call him Abner?

(Stella mistakenly laughs)

Sunset Arms boarding house

(Back to the present)

Arnold

(incredibly addled) Abner was a wedding present to my parents?

Phil

That's right.

Arnold

A wedding present from the Green-Eyed People?

Phil

Correct.

Arnold

(appalled and alarmed) And you were gonna eat him!?

Phil

Hey, I-I couldn't help it! He looked tasty! (Abner leaves in indignation) A-And the only thing I had to eat all day was that darn cake. Those are empty calories, Arnold. Empty!

Arnold

Grandpa, that's completely crazy!

Phil

Oh, we were all a little crazy back then! It was a style in those days.

Gertie

Well, heck, some of us are still crazy!

Phil

Oh, easy there, Pookie! You just had a huge hoagie.

Arnold

So, what happened next?

Phil

Ah, let's see... wedding, earthquake, reception, pig... Aha! Here we are! "Later that night, after all the guests had gone, we went back to our hut. It was the hottest night the jungle ever had... oh, there was... (mumbles and then closes the journal) Okay, Arnold, time for bed!

Arnold

But it's only six o'clock, Grandpa!

Phil

Six o'clock? It's dinner time! Why don't you go order some Chinese? Food, that is!

Arnold

Grandpa, how can you be hungry? We just ate a whole platter of sandwiches.

Phil

Don't question me, Arnold, I'm your elder and I know what's best. Now go order some Chinese.

Arnold

Okay... fine. I'll order Chinese.

(Arnold leaves, and Phil tears out the page he was reading and puts it in his pocket)

Phil

Whew! Sheesh, I thought he'd never leave.

Gertie

Who?

Phil

Arnold.

Gertie

Well, which one is he?

Phil

(raises an eyebrow) Our grandson.

Gertie

Oh, we should introduce him to the nice little blond boy who was just here.

Phil

(sarcastically) Fine, Pookie, I'll get right on it.

(Cut to later)

Phil

(singing) Chop... Suey, chicken Chop Suey, it's so hard to beat thee, smell of soy, no Bok Choy... I'm so happy to eat thee. (eats a dumpling)

Arnold

Uh, Grandpa, you think we can get back to the journal now?

Phil

Wait a minute. First I have to read my fortune. (the fortune reads "[13 666|13 13 666]") He-hey, not bad. Things are looking up!

Arnold

Grandpa. The journal.

Phil

Okay, okay, I'm on it. Ooh, their honeymoon. "Today we arrived at exotic Rio de Janeiro."

Arnold

Wait. I thought you told me that they spent their honeymoon at the North Pole.

Phil

No I didn't.

Arnold

But you said--

Phil

Wasn't me.

Arnold

Okay, fine. They arrived in exotic Rio de Janeiro.

Phil

Thank you!

Rio de Janeiro

Phil

(narrating) We spent the first day of our honeymoon strolling around the inner harbor. At sunset, we decided to ride the cable car to the top of Sugarloaf Mountain. Eduardo says there's an amazing view from the top, but's the kinda thing ya only wanna do once.

Miles

Thanks for coming up here anyway, Stella.

(The wire of a cable car snaps)

Stella

Miles, we gotta do something, quick!

Miles

I got an idea.

(They run into another car)

Miles

If I can catch the handle on the door, I can pull the other car close enough for everyone to jump across. (climbs to the roof of the car) With your help, of course.

(Stella stops the car and Miles whips the door open)

Stella

Nice shot. (to the passengers) Okay, come on. You doing great. One more. (to a boy) Come on, you can do it.

Rio Boy

No, I can't!

Stella

Please, just take my hand.

Rio Lady

Do what the nice lady says, honey.

Rio Boy

I can't. I'm too scared! (cable car breaks further) No!

Stella

Well, I guess I'll just have to come get you mys-oh! (the cable car is about to slip off the rope, so Stella does what she needs to do to rescue the boy) Here I am. Good. Now, put your arms around my neck and hold on... (the boy does so, tightly) Tight!

(Stella successfully gets to the other car)

Rio Lady

Oh, thank you. Thank you so much.

Stella

No problem.

(The cable car gives way, taking Stella with it)

Miles

(jumps and falls on top of the car) Stellaaa!

Stella

Oh!

Miles

Honeymoon's not over yet.

Stella

If we don't get off this thing, we'll be smashed to pieces.

Miles

I know, that's why we gotta jump!

Stella

Ah! I was afraid you were gonna say that.

Miles

We'll do it on three. Okay, THREE!!

(They jump into the water below. Cut to Stella in a swimming pool, sitting down next to an injured Miles)

Stella

Thanks handsome. Hey, remind me never to take another travel suggestion from your old buddy Eduardo.

Eduardo

Miles! Stella! There you are! I've been looking all over for you two!

Stella

How'd you get here?

Eduardo

I was sent by the Green-Eyed People. I'm so sorry to interrupt your honeymoon, but they're in terrible trouble amigos! They wanted me to give you this.

Miles

(reading in pain) It says they've been struck by a mysterious disease... that many have perished... and they need us to come to them right away-Ow!

Eduardo

Stella, they need your medical expertise! You two are the only people they trust.

Stella

Then I guess we... we'd better get going.

Miles

(painfully) Mmm-hmm.

Sunset Arms boarding house

(Back to the present)

Phil

Your mom, dad, and Eduardo left Rio and took off for the San Lorenzo jungle, and we'll get to the rest of that story right after I hit the restroom.

Arnold

Again?

Phil

Never get old, Arnold! Never get old!

(Arnold sighs)

(Fade to black. If you're watching the two-part version of this episode, this is where Part One ends)

Act Two

Sunset Arms boarding house

Phil

(comes back to the living room while a flush was heard off-screen) Woo! I feel like a new man! Light as a feather. Anyway, back to the journal.

San Lorenzo

Phil

(narrating) We parachuted into the heart of the jungle, the volcanic mountains of San Lorenzo. Where we'd last seen any sign of the mysterious Green-Eyes.

(Miles and Stella parachute into the jungle, with Miles getting stuck in tree branches)

Stella

You okay, Miles?

Miles

Never better.

(They arrive at a Green-Eye shrine where they previously returned the Corazón)

Stella

Miles, look. Dead butterflies. They always die first. It's the sleeping sickness, Miles.

Miles

And now it's hit the Green-Eyes.

Stella

We've gotta make a serum. Fast. (Stella looks at a book) We'll need some red moss from the San Juan river, the nose whisker of a wild Bolivian boar, and the root of a Panamanian zapote tree.

Miles

Right. Sounds easy.

San Juan river

Miles

(sighs) Okay, I give up. We've looked under every rock on this entire river, and no red moss.

Stella

Umm... you haven't looked under every rock. (points to a rock above the river)

Miles

(sighs)

Bolivia

Stella

There he is.

(Miles approaches the boar, hiding behind the bushes)

Stella

(watches with urge) Careful...

(Miles gets the whisker, only to get caught in a spider web and wake up the boar)

Miles

I hate spiders, I hate spiders, I hate spiders! Aaah!

Panama

Miles

Okay, I admit the first two were hard, but this one will be easy!

(Miles and Stella grab shovels, only for him to step on quicksand)

Miles

(sinking) Umm.. oh-oh. Stella! Stellaaa!

Stella

Miles!

(She ties a vine around her torso and dives into the quicksand to save Miles)

Miles

(panting) Like I said, that was easy. (shows the root)

San Lorenzo

(Miles and Stella sleep on the plane while Eduardo flies it. Cut to them making the serum in their hut, while Eduardo hunts butterflies. The serum at first fails, but later works)

Stella

Got it.

(They leave the serum at the site from before)

Miles

I hope we're not too late.

(A wind blows, and the scene cuts to them sleeping in their hut)

Stella

(sees gifts from the Green-Eyes) Miles.

Miles

Wow. A double thank-you.

Phil

(narrating) Later that night, we toasted Stella for making the life-saving serum.

Miles

To Stella!

Eduardo

The Florence Nightingale of San Lorenzo!

Stella

Ehh. (drops her drink)

Miles

Are you okay, Honey? What's wrong?

Stella

I'm fine, but when that drink hit my stomach... No good.

Miles

Your stomach? Maybe you should lie down.

Stella

Don't worry, I'm okay.

Phil

(narrating) Despite what Stella had said, I was worried. Really worried. I couldn't help but think--

Sunset Arms boarding House

Arnold

(lowers the top of the journal) What was wrong with her? Was she really sick?

Phil

Well, she was, um... sorta kinda, you know, in a manner of speaking...

Arnold

Was it food poisoning?

Phil

No.

Arnold

Tropical flu?

Phil

No, whatever that is.

Arnold

Oh, I know.

Phil

Do you?

Arnold

She caught the sleeping sickness.

Phil

Eeeeh. Nope, wrong, but thank you for playing.

Arnold

O-Okay, I give up.

Phil

Don't give up, ya quitter! Okay, I'll give ya a hint. Your mother was going to have...

Gertie

(guesses) A hernia?

Phil

No, no, no, no. It's a good thing she was going to have. It rhymes with "maybe".

Gertie

Rabies!

Phil

Oh! Think, she was going to have a... (gestures a cradling move) Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

Arnold

(gets it right) A baby!

Phil

Oh yeah! Bingo!

San Lorenzo

Stella

(comes out of the clinic) I'm pregnant. (to Eduardo) We're gonna have a baby. (hugs Miles)

Sunset Arms boarding House

Phil (to Arnold) And do you know who that baby was?

Arnold

Me?

Phil

(strokes his hair) Right again, Short Man!

Gertie

(singing while cradling Abner and playing the piano with her foot) ♪Baby, baby! Stick your head in gravy! Wash it out with bubblegum and send it to the navy!♪

Phil

Pookie! Pookie! Pookie, enough, stop! (back to Arnold) Eh. So there you were, Arnold, (rubs his belly) in your mommy's belly.

Arnold

Okay, great. Can we move on?

Phil

Heh-heh-heh. Making you uncomfortable, ah? Okay, let's move on.

San Lorenzo

Phil

(narrating) The last few months have been very productive. Eduardo and I have been clearing land, planting crops, and building a school, while Stella grows more and more pregnant. (interrupts as he gets in the scene of the story) With Arnold! That's you, Arnold! Heh-heh-heh.

Arnold

Grandpa...

(Stella feels pain in her body as she flinches)

Miles

You okay? You look kinda pale.

Stella

Never better.

Miles

(gasps) You mean...

(Stella nods)

Miles

Okay. (whistles, Eduardo comes with a litter) Your ride's here.

(The three move through the jungle)

Stella

Look, smoke. That must be the town.

Miles

That's great. We're nearly there.

Eduardo

Well, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that the hospital is just around that mountain.

Stella

And the bad news?

Eduardo

The mountain... it's a volcano. It's called Volcán Turriable. But don't worry, volcanoes smoke all the time. I'm sure that's all it'll do.

(The volcano erupts and the animals start making sounds)

Miles

Oh, great. We get here right when it's erupting!

Stella

So am I!

Miles

Oh, this isn't good!

Sunset Arms boarding House

Phil

(reading) "The volcano started spitting out fire and smoke like crazy! It was both beautiful and terrifying at the same time." Sorta like you, Pookie.

Gertie

Back at ya, sweetcheeks!

Arnold

(moves into view) Then what happened? Then what happened!?

Phil

Okay, okay.

San Lorenzo

Phil

(narrating) The earth heaved and shook! The air thundered with the shrieks of jungle animals! And two bright rivers of molten lava came pouring down from every direction, cutting off our escape!

(Fiery projectiles come flying down around the trio, as they avoid the lava)

(Stella groans)

(Miles and Eduardo move Stella, as the litter is burned by the lava)

Stella

I can't move. I have to lie down. Right. Now.

Phil

(narrating) We had no choice, but to lay Stella right down on the trail. She was not very happy.

Stella

(uses every punctuation in emphasis) I. Am. Not. Very. HAPPY!!!!

(The volcano eruption intensifies, and monkeys screech and flee)

Stella

Miles, it's time!

Miles

Okay, then we'll just have to deliver the baby right here, in this lovely spot-!

(Miles is interrupted by Eduardo, who sees the lava flow behind them)

Eduardo

Dios mío! Look!

Miles

Aah!

(Stella screams)

Miles

(looks at their surroundings) Geez, Eduardo, what now? (gasps as he sees a column of green smoke) The Green-Eyes!

(Miles and Eduardo drag Stella to the nearby temple, as lava follows them. They find a bed prepared inside)

Stella

Uuuaaagghh!

(The ground shakes)

Miles

(grabs a wet cloth and covers Stella's face) Remember, breathe, breath. Just like in class! (makes breathing blows)

Stella

(lunging at Miles) Grrr, shut up, shut up, shut up!!

(Eduardo goes outside the temple, seeing all the destruction around them)

Stella

Aaaaaaauuugghh! Ah! Aaaah! Ah... ah... ah! Aaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaah! Ah! AAAAAUUUUGGHH!

(The eruption abruptly stops. All animals fall silent as a baby's cry is heard. Eduardo reenters the temple. Stella kisses the newborn)

Eduardo

He has silenced all of nature.

Miles

Our little baby.

Stella

A miracle baby... Arnold.

Eduardo

Arnold. That's his name?

Stella

It was my dad's name.

Eduardo

Arnold. He's a good-looking boy.

Stella

(hands the baby to Miles) We couldn't have done it without you, Eduardo. Thank you. (kisses him on the cheek)

Miles

He is a good-looking kid, isn't he? (to baby Arnold) Hey. Hi. Hey, Arnold. Hi, baby boy. I'm your dad. And this is your lovely mom. You're so lucky. (heard through narrating) And so are we. We have a miracle baby, named Arnold.

Green-Eye native

(quietly) Arnold...

Sunset Arms boarding House

Arnold

Wow, grandpa. What an incredible story, I can't believe it!

Phil

Neither can I, it's amazing! I can't believe they didn't name you Phil!

Arnold

No, the volcano! I can't believe the way I was born!

Phil

What, you think I was making it up all these years?

Arnold

Well... actually, I did.

Phil

Me, make up a story!?

Arnold

...It's been known to happen.

Phil

Alright, sue me, I made up a story. But this one is a hundred-percent true! You were a miracle baby, Arnold! Born during a volcanic eruption!

Gertie

(confused) I always thought he was born in the back seat of a greyhound bus rolling down Highway 41.

Phil

(facepalms) Oh, Pookie, that's an old hippie song!

Gertie

(gets it) Oh, yes, that's right!

Arnold

So, why did the volcano stop when I was born?

Phil

Mmm, I don't know. Maybe your dad can shed some light on it. Let's see. (reads) "I guess it will always be a happy mystery why everything became still and silent right after Arnold was born..." Well, that's lame! At least he could've made something up!

Arnold

So, what happened after that? Did they go back to their village?

Phil

(sarcastically) No, you all lived happily in an old stone temple surrounded by boiling-hot lava. (ba-dum-tss)

Gertie

Well, where did they go to the bathroom?

Phil

Yet another mystery! (his stomach rumbles) Oh! Speaking of bathrooms, that kung-pow shrimp is backing up on me! Be right back!

(Arnold laughs. Fade to black)

(Sound of toilet flushing)

Phil

Alright, let's see. The journal, the journal. Ah, here we are! (continues reading) "We've been back in our village for a week, and life is very different now that we have a baby!"

Gertie

We have a baby!?

Phil

Pookie, I got a roll of tape and I'm not afraid to use it!

(Gertie blinks and Phil puts away the tape)

San Lorenzo/Miles and Stella's Hut

(The story continues)

Phil

(narrating) Our normal routine is a thing of the past. Now we spend all our time concentrating on Arnold. Diapering him, bathing him, feeding him, but most of all, trying to get him to sleep! Oof!

(Baby Arnold crawls away from his parents' bed)

Miles

(wakes up and gasps) Arnold! Where's Arnold?

Stella

Arnold! Sweetie!

(Miles sees baby Arnold approach a snake)

Miles

(gasps) Arnold! Come here! (grabs him away from the snake)

Phil

(narrating) Stella and I made a hard decision, but I think it's the right one. We're going to leave San Lorenzo, I think we've done some good work here. But I wrote mom and dad and told them that it's time they met their grandson, and that we're coming home.

Sunset Arms boarding House

Phil

That's me, Phil, the dad he wrote to. Should've been your name, Arnold!

Arnold

(rolls his eyes) Grandpa.

San Lorenzo

Phil

(narrating) We'll miss our village in this country, and our many friends, but it's all different now with Arnold. I love my new son so much, he's changed our lives forever. I never thought we could be so happy.

(Abner catches up to Miles and Stella's wagon and he successfully makes it on as Miles laughs)

San Lorenzo airport

Eduardo

I'll miss you both so very much.

Miles

And we'll miss you too, Eduardo.

Stella

Thanks for everything. Everything.

Phil

(narrating) While flying away from our old life and toward our new one, I was thinking about how nice and simple things will be back in my hometown. Even in the jungle, I would dream about my childhood in the big ol' brick house, and my peaceful, quiet neighborhood.

Boarding House stoop

(Ernie, Mr. Hyunh, and Oskar play instruments while Miles and Stella arrive at the boarding house)

Stella

You must be quite a hero to these people.

Miles

Or they're all just amazed someone left this neighborhood and then actually came back.

Phil

What a great-looking boy, he's got my chin!

Gertie

And my third eye. (Miles and Stella laugh)

Phil

Don't encourage her.

Montage at Sunset Arms

Phil

(narrating) Stella loves our new life in the boarding house, and Arnold's quite a hit with Mom and Dad.

(Phil presses Arnold's nose and the packard's horn at the same time)

Gertie

(walking with Phil, Miles and Stella, while pulling baby Arnold on a wagon) Woo-woo! Woo-woo! Here comes the train!

Phil

(narrating) We're all completely, blissfully happy together. (scene changes to Arnold's first birthday) So now Arnold is one. I can't believe it, I have a one-year-old son. (Arnold puts out the candle with his drool, and gets his picture taken)

All

Yay, Arnold!

(Arnold gets his picture taken by Miles while playing with a toy plane.)

Phil

(narrating) I look at my own dad and hope I can be half as great as he is. He's a stupendous guy; brilliant, funny, handsome, erudite, classy, really the perfect--

Sunset Arms boarding house

Arnold

(annoyed) Grandpa! (back to the present) You're making that up.

Phil

Fine, whatever you say. The point is, I'm the poo, and you turned one year old. I remember that day perfectly.

Arnold

You do? Then what happened next?

Phil

I have no idea. But hopefully the journal does! Here we go:

Park

Phil

(narrating) That afternoon we went to the neighborhood park. I bought Arnold a tiny blue hat. It doesn't really fit him, but it just seems to suit him somehow. (all three laugh as the hat falls off) Then we parked the stroller and watched the other parents and their children playing. (baby versions of all of Arnold's friends are at the park) This neighborhood has plenty of babies for Arnold to play with; maybe they'll grow up to be friends someday. (Miles and Stella laugh at baby Helga drinking baby Phoebe's milk bottle)

(Baby Rhonda and baby Eugene are riding ducks, Eugene falls off)

Nate

Are you okay?

(Baby Harold, Sid, and Stinky are playing in the sandbox. Sid hits Stinky with a rattle and Stinky didn't feel a thing. After nothing nothing happened. Sid stares, points and starts crying. Miles and Stella laugh, then notice Arnold is gone)

Stella

(gasps) Where's Arnold?

(Miles and Stella look around and everywhere in the park)

Miles

Arnold?

Stella

Arnold!

Miles

Arnold? Arnold!

Stella

Arnold?

Miles

Arnold!

Baby Helga

Heehee! Look that! Look that!

(Miles faces where Helga is pointing, and sees Arnold at the top of a slide)

Miles

Arnold!

Stella

Arnold! No! Don't move!

(Miles climbs up, but Arnold laughs and slides down)

Miles

Arnold!!!

(Stella gasps and Arnold falls on some mud)

Phil

(narrating) Stella and I have been on hundreds of adventures, but I was never so scared as when I saw baby Arnold standing on the top of the slide. As we hugged and kissed our boy after he was safe, we vowed:

Stella

We'll never let you out of our sight again.

Later that night

Miles

Happy birthday, one year old.

Stella

We love you. Sleep tight. (singing softly) ♪Lullaby, and good night. Sweet dreams, and sleep tight.♪

Miles

(singing softly) ♪Know, we love you, more each day. While you sleep and while you play.♪

Stella

(singing softly) ♪You're so sweet, through and through. Stay off the slide 'till you're two.♪

Miles

(narrating) I love every day of our lives together. I'm looking forward to living near my mom and dad, and watching Arnold grow and learn more and more. I feel so lucky. I would do anything in the world for my lovely Stella, and for our dear little son, Arnold.

Sunset Arms boarding house

(Arnold looks forlorn at hearing the future that never was. His grandparents stop to look at him, then Phil turns a page in the journal)

Phil

Oh, well, it's the last page of the journal. It's a familiar story, Short Man, and--

Arnold

It's okay. ...I wanna hear it, Grandpa.

Grandpa

Alright, uh.

The Park

Phil

(narrating) Eduardo arrived quite unexpectedly today. He came to tell us there's been another much worse outbreak of the deadly sleeping sickness in San Lorenzo. The new strain of the disease is spreading all through the region, and many Green-Eyes have already died.

Eduardo

Please, just one final mission. You're their only hope.

(The scene changes to Miles and Stella's room)

Phil

(narrating) It's a heartbreaking decision, but the Green-Eyes have been like family to us. They saved our lives again and again; helped us to safety right before our baby was born. I really, really don't wanna leave Arnold...

Sunset Arms boarding house

Phil

(narrating, continued) ...but our trip back to San Lorenzo will be... quick.

(Gertie holds Arnold's shoulders, and tragic music plays while the rest of the journal entry is read)

Phil

(reading) "Mom and Dad can look after him. Before we know it, we'll... be back... playing with our boy."

(The flashback of Miles and Stella leaving appears)

Phil

(reading and narrating) I know that the whole time we're there... we'll both miss our Arnold... terribly.

Phil

(sighs) Well, that's all he wrote. Quite an unexpected find, this journal.

Arnold

I'm so glad that we found it. It's great to hear all these stories. I learned so much more about my parents.

Phil

They were pretty great people, Arnold. And they loved you so much.

Arnold

Now I know how hard it was for them to leave me. I understand why they had to do it. They did it for the Green-Eyed People. I just wish I knew what happened to them.

Phil

Me too, Short Man. But I think we've gotten all the answers we're gonna get for one day.

Arnold

(sighs) At least we have this. Can I take it?

Phil

Well, of course, of course, it's all yours.

Arnold

I think I'm gonna go outside and sit on the stoop for a while.

Phil

Alright, Arnold. We're pooped anyway, we're going to bed. Goodnight.

Gertie

Don't let the horsefiles bite. (kisses Arnold on the head)

Arnold

Good night. And thanks, for everything.

Boarding house stoop

(Arnold is looking through the pages, when he sees the last pages are stuck together. He separates them, revealing...)

Arnold

(gasps) A map! It must be the route my parents took on their last trip to the jungle! (runs back inside) Grandma! Grandpa! You have to see this! I found a map!

(The camera rises to focus on the sky, and the episode fades to black)