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{{Tab|Script}}
 
{{Tab|Script}}
   
==P.S. 118==
+
==Act One==
  +
===P.S. 118===
 
''(The school bell rings and all the students run out and cheer while Arnold and Gerald walk)''
 
''(The school bell rings and all the students run out and cheer while Arnold and Gerald walk)''
   
Line 31: Line 32:
 
''(The bus lets out fog that makes Helga cough and drives off)''
 
''(The bus lets out fog that makes Helga cough and drives off)''
   
==Grandpa Phil's Car==
+
===Grandpa Phil's Car===
 
'''Arnold'''
 
'''Arnold'''
 
:Boy, Grandpa, this is gonna be great. I can't wait to get to the beach.
 
:Boy, Grandpa, this is gonna be great. I can't wait to get to the beach.
Line 67: Line 68:
 
:I don't blame you, Short Man. Heck, I don't even want to see the people I already know. I want to get as far away from civilization and shopping malls and traffic and commerciality as possible.
 
:I don't blame you, Short Man. Heck, I don't even want to see the people I already know. I want to get as far away from civilization and shopping malls and traffic and commerciality as possible.
   
==Big Bob's Car==
+
===Big Bob's Car===
 
''(Big Bob makes a turn on the road)''
 
''(Big Bob makes a turn on the road)''
   
Line 89: Line 90:
 
''(Helga fantasizes Arnold and herself on the TV)''
 
''(Helga fantasizes Arnold and herself on the TV)''
   
==The Duplex House==
+
===The Duplex House===
 
''(Grandpa Phil's car pulls up)''
 
''(Grandpa Phil's car pulls up)''
   
Line 121: Line 122:
 
''(Later, Arnold walks to the beach with a pale and enjoys the view as Grandpa Phil is on a small island far away)''
 
''(Later, Arnold walks to the beach with a pale and enjoys the view as Grandpa Phil is on a small island far away)''
   
==Small Island==
+
===Small Island===
 
'''Phil'''
 
'''Phil'''
 
:Ah, alone at last. Nothing but me and the silent tranquility of nature.
 
:Ah, alone at last. Nothing but me and the silent tranquility of nature.
   
==Beach Town==
+
===Beach Town===
 
''(Horns and jackhammers were heard in the next scene that is cut to a town where the three boarders are. They spot a hot swimsuit lady)''
 
''(Horns and jackhammers were heard in the next scene that is cut to a town where the three boarders are. They spot a hot swimsuit lady)''
   
Line 150: Line 151:
 
:Ah, don't sweat it, Hyuhn. I just remembered; I got a much better strategy.
 
:Ah, don't sweat it, Hyuhn. I just remembered; I got a much better strategy.
   
==The Duplex House==
+
===The Duplex House===
 
''(As there is a big wave of water, we now see Grandma Gertie surfing)''
 
''(As there is a big wave of water, we now see Grandma Gertie surfing)''
   
Line 239: Line 240:
 
:What in the heck is going on here? I'm gone for two lousy minutes and, all of a sudden, some bimbo moves in on my territory? Well, fat chance I'm gonna let that happen. Arnold's gonna be mine this vacation, and no little beach chippie's gonna come between us. ''(kicks Arnold's sandcastle as she says this)''
 
:What in the heck is going on here? I'm gone for two lousy minutes and, all of a sudden, some bimbo moves in on my territory? Well, fat chance I'm gonna let that happen. Arnold's gonna be mine this vacation, and no little beach chippie's gonna come between us. ''(kicks Arnold's sandcastle as she says this)''
   
==Parasail Booth and Dock==
+
===Parasail Booth and Dock===
 
'''Big Bob'''
 
'''Big Bob'''
 
:''(Places cash in the booth)'' Strap me in and launch me, little lady!
 
:''(Places cash in the booth)'' Strap me in and launch me, little lady!
Line 251: Line 252:
 
''(Big Bob sits down on a beach chair, relaxes and sleeps)''
 
''(Big Bob sits down on a beach chair, relaxes and sleeps)''
   
==The Duplex House==
+
===The Duplex House===
 
''(Suzie is still outside the duplex house as Miriam comes out with lotion on her face, a towel on her shoulders and a smoothie jar in her hands while she sits down. She Takes the lid off and drinks the whole smoothie through the jar)''
 
''(Suzie is still outside the duplex house as Miriam comes out with lotion on her face, a towel on her shoulders and a smoothie jar in her hands while she sits down. She Takes the lid off and drinks the whole smoothie through the jar)''
   
Line 290: Line 291:
 
:''(becomes interested)'' Did you say stimulating? ''(She and Suzie both giggle quickly)''
 
:''(becomes interested)'' Did you say stimulating? ''(She and Suzie both giggle quickly)''
   
==Parasail Dock==
+
===Parasail Dock===
 
''(The sun is shining and Big Bob happens to be really sunburned from staying on the beach chair too long)''
 
''(The sun is shining and Big Bob happens to be really sunburned from staying on the beach chair too long)''
   
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''(He and the other paramedic lift the chair, with Big Bob still on it while groaning from the sunburn, from the dock and take it inside the ambulance. The paramedic on the right side sneezes and lets go of the chair and Big Bob, who is screaming from falling onto the ground with his burnt skin)''
 
''(He and the other paramedic lift the chair, with Big Bob still on it while groaning from the sunburn, from the dock and take it inside the ambulance. The paramedic on the right side sneezes and lets go of the chair and Big Bob, who is screaming from falling onto the ground with his burnt skin)''
   
==Small Island==
+
===Small Island===
 
''(Grandpa Phil is still fishing and he just fell asleep with the fishing rod in his hands. Eventually, he wakes up and sees his feet in the water)''
 
''(Grandpa Phil is still fishing and he just fell asleep with the fishing rod in his hands. Eventually, he wakes up and sees his feet in the water)''
   
Line 314: Line 315:
 
''(Summer grabs onto Sandy's hips and they drive off)''
 
''(Summer grabs onto Sandy's hips and they drive off)''
   
==Ocean==
+
===Ocean===
 
''(The next day, Arnold and Summer are on a floating raft with their hands in the water)''
 
''(The next day, Arnold and Summer are on a floating raft with their hands in the water)''
   
Line 333: Line 334:
 
:''(smiles evilly)'' Perfect.
 
:''(smiles evilly)'' Perfect.
   
==Beach==
+
===Beach===
 
''(Everything is going well while Oskar is using the metal detector he bought. It beeps when it magnetically grabs some jewelry from beachgoers while sleeping on towels)''
 
''(Everything is going well while Oskar is using the metal detector he bought. It beeps when it magnetically grabs some jewelry from beachgoers while sleeping on towels)''
   
Line 358: Line 359:
 
:''(annoyed)'' Eww...
 
:''(annoyed)'' Eww...
   
==Small Island==
+
===Small Island===
 
'''Grandpa Phil'''
 
'''Grandpa Phil'''
 
:Hello?! Is anyone out there? Oh, the silent tranquility of nature-- It's driving me insane! ''(sees a conch shell)'' Oh, look. A phone. ''(picks up the shell and talks into into it like a real phone)'' Hello, 911? This is Grandpa! Yeah, I'm stuck on an island. Hello? Hello? Aw, they put me on hold!
 
:Hello?! Is anyone out there? Oh, the silent tranquility of nature-- It's driving me insane! ''(sees a conch shell)'' Oh, look. A phone. ''(picks up the shell and talks into into it like a real phone)'' Hello, 911? This is Grandpa! Yeah, I'm stuck on an island. Hello? Hello? Aw, they put me on hold!
   
==Restaurant Pier==
+
===Restaurant Pier===
 
'''Summer'''
 
'''Summer'''
 
:Oh, Arnold, lobster is, like, my favorite all-time fave food.
 
:Oh, Arnold, lobster is, like, my favorite all-time fave food.
Line 377: Line 378:
 
:''(Making a fist pump gesture)'' Yes!
 
:''(Making a fist pump gesture)'' Yes!
   
==The Duplex House==
+
===The Duplex House===
 
''(The sunburnt Big Bob is trying to grab the phone from the bedside table, but cannot due to being severely burnt whilst being in bed)''
 
''(The sunburnt Big Bob is trying to grab the phone from the bedside table, but cannot due to being severely burnt whilst being in bed)''
   
 
'''Big Bob''': Ahh! Stinking sunburn! ''(yells out loud and the screen zooms out of the duplex house)'' '''''MMMMMIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'''''
 
'''Big Bob''': Ahh! Stinking sunburn! ''(yells out loud and the screen zooms out of the duplex house)'' '''''MMMMMIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'''''
   
==Beach Town==
+
===Beach Town===
 
''(Suzie and Miriam are walking to the dance studio)''
 
''(Suzie and Miriam are walking to the dance studio)''
   
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''(Miriam and Suzie give each other confused looks and look back to Carlos in different unison as Suzie gasps)''
 
''(Miriam and Suzie give each other confused looks and look back to Carlos in different unison as Suzie gasps)''
   
'''Miriram'''
+
'''Miriam'''
 
:''(looking like she's blushing)'' Oh, my.
 
:''(looking like she's blushing)'' Oh, my.
   
==Beach==
+
===Beach===
 
''(Oskar uses his metal detector on a beachgoer's headband as it detects it and grabs it)''
 
''(Oskar uses his metal detector on a beachgoer's headband as it detects it and grabs it)''
   
Line 486: Line 487:
 
''(After all that, Helga hangs her head down in shame)''
 
''(After all that, Helga hangs her head down in shame)''
   
==Beach Town==
+
===Beach Town===
 
''(Meanwhile, back at the dance studio)''
 
''(Meanwhile, back at the dance studio)''
   
Line 495: Line 496:
 
:''(also heard inside)'' You sure know how to have fun... ''(laughs)''
 
:''(also heard inside)'' You sure know how to have fun... ''(laughs)''
   
==Dock==
+
===Dock===
 
''(Helga is sitting on the edge of a dock)''
 
''(Helga is sitting on the edge of a dock)''
   

Revision as of 04:04, 15 May 2021

Episode
Trivia
Goofs
Quotes
Transcript
Gallery
Credits

Act One

P.S. 118

(The school bell rings and all the students run out and cheer while Arnold and Gerald walk)

Gerald

Vacation, mmm, mmm, mmm. A whole entire week away from books, and teachers, and...

(Gerald's sentence is interrupted when someone with the same voice comes out pushing people out of her way)

Helga

Watch your back! Watch your back! I said outta my way! (bumps into Arnold, falls on him and gets back up) Nice going, football head.

Arnold

What are you talking about, Helga? You're the one that plowed into me.

Helga

Yeah, well, that's because I'm trapped in school every day with a bunch of losers and when vacation finally comes, I want outta here as fast as I can, and I'll tell you another thing, Monkey Face; This is gonna be the best vacation ever because I'll be far, far away from you. (walks off)

Gerald

(picks up the books) Man, Arnold, that Helga G. Pataki is one person I will never miss.

Arnold

I agree, Gerald, I definitely agree.

(Helga walks to the back of the city bus, hides and pulls out her locket)

Helga

Oh, Arnold... How cruel I am each and every time I see you. How savage... How brutally I lash out... And now, my love... Now I must live with the consequences. I must spend an entire week apart from you doomed to recount my most regretful of behaviors.

(The bus lets out fog that makes Helga cough and drives off)

Grandpa Phil's Car

Arnold

Boy, Grandpa, this is gonna be great. I can't wait to get to the beach.

Phil

Ah, my beloved beach. I had such fun there as a young boy, romping around the dunes, eating snails and seaweed, making a skirt out of shell, and dancing for our men in uniform...

(All those things Phil mentions make Arnold and the boarders confused)

Arnold

(unconvincingly) Sounds... great, Grandpa.

Phil

Ah, the beach. It had such a magical, romantic quality.

Suzie

(nudges Oskar) Romantic, huh?

Oskar

(unsure) Ehh... I just want to find a treasure chest buried in the sand.

Ernie

Buried treasure? Ha! What an imbecile. Everyone knows the beach is a place for passion.

Mr. Hyunh

Yes! And for love!

Ernie

Hey, Arnold, maybe this beach vacation will be good to you, (winks) romantically speaking, huh?

Arnold

I don't know, Mr. Potts. I'm not really looking to make any new friends.

Phil

I don't blame you, Short Man. Heck, I don't even want to see the people I already know. I want to get as far away from civilization and shopping malls and traffic and commerciality as possible.

Big Bob's Car

(Big Bob makes a turn on the road)

Big Bob

This is gonna be great, Miriam! A whole entire week of hanging out at the beach. (eats a candy bar)

Miriam

Aw, B... why does it always have to be the beach?

Big Bob

'Cause the beach is the only place I get to parasail, jet-ski, bodyboard, and windsurf. (farts)

Miriam

But, I just, you know, I hate it there so much-- Well, with the sun and the sand and all those loud, happy, frolicking people...

(Meanwhile, Helga is in the backseat watching a show on a TV that is in the car and the show is Babewatch)

Announcer

This week on Babewatch: Love and deception rock the beach.

(Helga fantasizes Arnold and herself on the TV)

The Duplex House

(Grandpa Phil's car pulls up)

Phil

Ah, there she is. The old duplex house by the beach. It's a beaut, huh, Short Man?

(The scene fades to the doors and Ernie and Mr. Huynh walk out with swim outfits on)

Ernie

Yeah, well, we're off to town to, uh, mingle.

Mr. Hyunh

Want to join us, Grandpa?

Phil

Actually, I'm heading in the opposite direction of you clowns. So long, civilization! (walks off) Peace and solitude, here I come.

(Oskar and Suzie come out with other swim outfits as well)

Suzie

So, you're going to town, too, Oskar, and leaving me here all alone?

Oskar

Okay, sounds good to me. (runs off to the two boarders) Hey, you guys, wait up!

(Suzie sits down, sighs and reads)

Gertie

(comes out with a surfing swimsuit and a surfboard) Later, dude. I'm gonna hang ten and shoot the tunnel.

(Later, Arnold walks to the beach with a pale and enjoys the view as Grandpa Phil is on a small island far away)

Small Island

Phil

Ah, alone at last. Nothing but me and the silent tranquility of nature.

Beach Town

(Horns and jackhammers were heard in the next scene that is cut to a town where the three boarders are. They spot a hot swimsuit lady)

Oskar

(reads the sign) "Want to find coins, jewelry and other valuables on the beach?"

Shop Owner

(comes out of his shop) That's right, sir. (brings out a metal detector) Only $9.99, and you get to keep everything you find.

Oskar

I get to keep everything I find? (takes it) It's a deal.

(Mr. Hyuhn and Ernie spot another swimsuit woman wearing blue)

Ernie

Check her out, Hyunh. Go talk to her.

Mr. Hyuhn

(does so and eagerly talks to her) Hello, pretty beach lady!

Woman (blushes) Eww... (gets up from the bench and walks away)

Ernie

Ah, don't sweat it, Hyuhn. I just remembered; I got a much better strategy.

The Duplex House

(As there is a big wave of water, we now see Grandma Gertie surfing)

Gertie

(laughs) Cowabunga!

(Meanwhile, Arnold finishes up making his sand castle and hears honking as he lifts up his sunglasses, and it turns out to be Big Bob's car pulling up to the same duplex house)

Big Bob

We're here!

Miriam

(wakes up with her glasses crooked) Huh? Wha..? Where am I? Where am I? (gets out of the car as are Big Bob and Helga)

Helga

Oh, man, what a dump.

Big Bob

(takes the suitcases out of the trunk and sets them down) Sun, surf, and a mother lode of beach sports. This is gonna be the best week of my entire life!

(He takes off his shirt and tosses it to Miriam's head)

Big Bob

Welp, catch you later, Miriam. (has a speedo, runs off to the beach and dives) Alley-oop!

(Miriam takes his shirt off her head and goes inside the house)

Helga

(sighs) This is gonna be the worst week of my entire life. (grabs the suitcases and drags them to the stairs) Bob, Miriam and a skanky old shack, hours away from Arnold.

Arnold

(walks in the scene) Helga?

(Helga gets startled by falling off after she heard Arnold's voice from behind)

Helga

(surprised) Arnold?! (angrily) What are you doing here, football head?

Arnold

My grandpa brought us for the week. Wow, talk about a coincidence.

Helga

(scoffs, drags the suitcases up to the door, throws them in and goes inside) Yeah, well, don't get any weird ideas about getting all chummy with me or anything, hair boy. I mean just 'cause we're staying in the same beach house doesn't mean we're suddenly friends or something. As a matter of fact, I still hate your stinking guts, so you better just stay the heck outta my way, got it?!

Arnold

(walks away, obliviously) Fine with me, Helga.

(Helga goes up to one of the rooms and lays on the bed)

Helga

What is the matter with me?! Why do I always have to be such a jerk to Arnold? I mean, here I am alone at the beach with the guy and what do I do? I barrage him with insults and push him away! (gets up from the bed) That's it. I am through being a psychotic freak. I'm going back down there and I am going to apologize to Arnold. Then, I'm going to start being nice. This is gonna be the best week of my life, and nothing or nobody is gonna stand in my way.

(Arnold is making another perfect sandcastle and a shadow of a person approaches him, and it turns out to be a girl)

Summer

That is a fantastic sandcastle.

Arnold

Thanks.

Summer

My name's Summer. What's yours?

Arnold

Arnold.

Summer

Well, Arnold, you must be a great artist. Because that's the best sandcastle I've ever seen. I bet you'd be a shoo-in at the sandcastle competition at the beach festival this weekend.

Arnold

Sandcastle competition?

Helga

(getting closer to the beach) Now remember, Helga, just stick to the plan: Apologize to Arnold even if it kills you. (gasps at what she is seeing)

Summer

Well, you really should think about it, Arnold, because you do awesome things with sand, and in the meantime, you can show me around the beach since I'm new around here.

(This makes Helga angry and jealous)

Arnold

I've never been here before, either.

Summer

Perfect. We can explore things together now.

Helga

What in the heck is going on here? I'm gone for two lousy minutes and, all of a sudden, some bimbo moves in on my territory? Well, fat chance I'm gonna let that happen. Arnold's gonna be mine this vacation, and no little beach chippie's gonna come between us. (kicks Arnold's sandcastle as she says this)

Parasail Booth and Dock

Big Bob

(Places cash in the booth) Strap me in and launch me, little lady!

Booth lady

I'm sorry, sir, but our next available parasail departure isn't for another 30 minutes.

Big Bob

(looks at his watch) 30 Minutes, huh? Oh, all right. I guess I'll just wait here and soak up a little color.

(Big Bob sits down on a beach chair, relaxes and sleeps)

The Duplex House

(Suzie is still outside the duplex house as Miriam comes out with lotion on her face, a towel on her shoulders and a smoothie jar in her hands while she sits down. She Takes the lid off and drinks the whole smoothie through the jar)

Suzie Hi!

(Miriam coughs the drink out when she got startled)

Miriam

Oh, oh... Hi.

Suzie

I'm Suzie.

Miriam

I'm... Miriam. I'm Miriam.

Suzie

So, are you alone, too?

Miriam

(sighs) Oh course.

Carlos

Hello, ladies! You two beautiful women don't look like you're having any fun at all. I could change that. Would you like to take (takes out flyers) in a stimulating, free dance class?

(Suzie and Miriam look at the flyers in his hand)

Miriam

Oh... No, I don't think I'm up to it...

Suzie

Gee. I don't think my husband...

(Carlos grins at them and Miriam takes one of the flyers and smiles along with Suzie)

Miriram

(becomes interested) Did you say stimulating? (She and Suzie both giggle quickly)

Parasail Dock

(The sun is shining and Big Bob happens to be really sunburned from staying on the beach chair too long)

Paramedic

Try not to move, sir. It'll only make your sunburn worse.

(He and the other paramedic lift the chair, with Big Bob still on it while groaning from the sunburn, from the dock and take it inside the ambulance. The paramedic on the right side sneezes and lets go of the chair and Big Bob, who is screaming from falling onto the ground with his burnt skin)

Small Island

(Grandpa Phil is still fishing and he just fell asleep with the fishing rod in his hands. Eventually, he wakes up and sees his feet in the water)

Phil

Uh-oh... (looks around at the sunset, the bay and open water) HELP!!!!!

(As it zooms out, we see a boy, who happens to be Summer's boyfriend, named Sandy on a motorcycle as Summer comes to him)

Summer

I think I found our guy.

Sandy

Excellent.

(Summer grabs onto Sandy's hips and they drive off)

Ocean

(The next day, Arnold and Summer are on a floating raft with their hands in the water)

Summer

Ah, there's just something so relaxing about the water, don't you think, Arnold?

Arnold

Yeah. It's great, Summer.

(Helga is near a bell buoy and wearing a scub suit, goggles, and asnorkel)

Helga

Oh, I wouldn't get too relaxed if I were you, honey.

(Helga takes a deep breath and goes underwater. She uses the snorkel like a telescope when we hear radar beeps through it like in a submarine, then she uses a dart to spit out at the float, causing it to pop; making Arnold and Summer float in the air and fall back into the water. Helga and both of them resurface)

Helga

(smiles evilly) Perfect.

Beach

(Everything is going well while Oskar is using the metal detector he bought. It beeps when it magnetically grabs some jewelry from beachgoers while sleeping on towels)

Oskar

This metal detector works great! (puts the jewelry in his pocket)

(Mr. Hyunh is digging the sand out to make a hole)

Mr. Hyunh

Are you sure this will work?

Ernie

Positive, Hyunhski. When women see a guy buried up to his head in the sand, they come over, it's only natural, and that's when you start chattin' them up and turnin' the charm. (jumps in the hole) That's how my father met my mother. Now bury me.

(Mr. Hyunh does so)

Mr. Hyunh

Ooh! (Ernie's whole body is now buried in the sand) I want to get my camera. I will be right back. (runs off)

Ernie

All right, but make it snappy. (sees a passing woman in a green bikini and a sunhat) Good afternoon, miss. (she gets startled by almost tripping on him and does not fall) You're looking lovely today.

Woman

(annoyed) Eww...

Small Island

Grandpa Phil

Hello?! Is anyone out there? Oh, the silent tranquility of nature-- It's driving me insane! (sees a conch shell) Oh, look. A phone. (picks up the shell and talks into into it like a real phone) Hello, 911? This is Grandpa! Yeah, I'm stuck on an island. Hello? Hello? Aw, they put me on hold!

Restaurant Pier

Summer

Oh, Arnold, lobster is, like, my favorite all-time fave food.

Helga

(hiding behind a potted plant and holding a real lobster in her hand) Lobster isn't going to be your "fave food" for long, princess.

(When a waiter comes out with a pot and Helga sneakily holds up the service plate cover and puts the real one in it and the lid back on. The waiter comes to the table and opens the lid and everyone is startled to see the live lobster as it jumps on Summer's hair)

Summer

(screams as the lobster's claws grab her hair) Get it off me!!

Helga

(Making a fist pump gesture) Yes!

The Duplex House

(The sunburnt Big Bob is trying to grab the phone from the bedside table, but cannot due to being severely burnt whilst being in bed)

Big Bob: Ahh! Stinking sunburn! (yells out loud and the screen zooms out of the duplex house) MMMMMIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Beach Town

(Suzie and Miriam are walking to the dance studio)

Suzie

Hello? Carlos?

Miriam

Uh, we've-- we've come for our free dance lesson.

Carlos

(making a move to them) Hello, ladies! (chuckles) Are you ready to... unwind?

(Miriam and Suzie give each other confused looks and look back to Carlos in different unison as Suzie gasps)

Miriam

(looking like she's blushing) Oh, my.

Beach

(Oskar uses his metal detector on a beachgoer's headband as it detects it and grabs it)

Beachgoer

(Explains to a security guard about the incident) ...And the beach thief stole my bracelets and necklace.

Other Beachgoer

And the jerk stole my watch.

Security Guard

Don't panic, I'm on the case. We'll find the perpetrator right away.

Ernie

(still in the sand, impatiently) Where the heck is that Hyunh? Hey, uh, anyone? I'm buried up to my neck here! A little help? (three shadows approach him)

Mean Kid

Hey, ugly dude. We'll help. (grabs a bucket)

Ernie

(looking on) Wait, whoa, hey... Time out... (the bucket is already out on his head and his voice muffles) No... no!

Mr. Hyunh

(off-screen) Hello? Ernie?! (walks into the scene with the camera he mentioned before)

Ernie

(muffled) Hyunh, is that you? Hey, I'm under the bucket here! Hyunh? Hyunhski! Yo, Hyunh!

(Meanwhile at sunset, Summer and Arnold are lying on beach towels)

Summer

Hmm. Isn't this amazing, Arnold? Just you and me... hanging out together.

Arnold

Yeah, and... Even though some crazy things have been happening today, I'm still really glad I met you, Summer.

Summer

Oh, me too, Arnold. Me too.

Arnold

You're just so much nicer than the girls at my school. And well, the truth is... I really like you a lot.

Summer

And I really like you, Arnold. (puts her hand on his) This may sound silly, but I've never felt so comfortable with a boy before.

Helga

(with a French bread in her hand) Well, I wouldn't get too comfortable, sweetheart. sneakily walks over to them and puts bread crumbs on them to attract the seagulls. Then the seagulls circle around the two in the air when they wake up and look up. The seagulls dive down and attack the two as they run for their lives and duck under the lifeguard tower)

Arnold

Are you okay?

Summer

I'm fine.

(All of a sudden, they hear Helga laughing near the surfboards)

Helga

Oh, this is the best one yet! I mean, sure the lobster and the raft were all pretty funny, but this one, hoo-boy, this one takes the cake!

Arnold

Helga?!

Helga

(turns to her left) Oh! Uh, hey, Arnold, how's it goin'?

Arnold

What are you doing?

Helga

Me? Uh... nothing. Just having a snack.

Arnold

Helga, I heard everything you just said.

Helga

(feeling hurt) You did?

Arnold

Yeah. So, if you're through being mean to me and Summer for no reason at all, I'd appreciate it if you'd take your own advice and just stay out of my way. For good. (grabs Summer's hand and they both leave)

Summer (As they are walking off-screen) Who is that?

Arnold

(heard off-screen) Just one of those girls from my school I was telling you about.

(After all that, Helga hangs her head down in shame)

Beach Town

(Meanwhile, back at the dance studio)

Suzie

(heard inside) Oh, Carlos...

Miriam

(also heard inside) You sure know how to have fun... (laughs)

Dock

(Helga is sitting on the edge of a dock)

Helga

(sighs) Oh, why am I such an idiot? Why am I such a shortsighted fool? (pulls out her locket) Why have I allowed my casual cruelties to push Arnold away from me, maybe forever? (looks at her locket picture) Oh, my darling, if only you knew how sorry I am. If only you knew how much I love you. If only you knew how deeply I regret any pain I may have afflicted on you and your innocent, yet trampy, little friend Summer. (gets up) Wait a minute... that's it! I'll go apologize to Arnold right now and everything in our delicate world will be righted once again!

Summer

(heard off-screen, talking to Sandy) It's all working out just like we planned. (Helga eavesdrops on both of them under the bridge) Arnold thinks I really, really like him.

Sandy

Whoa, he's, like, stupider than I ever could have imagined.

Summer

Tell me about it. The kid's an idiot. Anyway, I'll flirt with him one more day and then get him to agree to build me a killer sandcastle at the beach festival. We'll easily win first place.

Sandy

Then you'll dump Arnold the sucker and you'll be on Babewatch. And then your acting career will skyrocket, and I'll be your manager.

Summer

Huh, right.

Helga

Oh, my dear, cherished, naïve Arnold, I can't stand idly by and let you be eaten alive by Summer's most sadistic of plans. I must take action. I must go to you right away. I must right to him whom I have so wronged. (runs off right away, but comes back quickly) Plus, Babewatch is my fantasy. (runs off properly this time as)

(Fade to black)

Act Two

The Duplex House

Helga

(Whispering and throwing pebbles at Arnold's window) Arnold. Psst. Arnold. Open up. It's important.

Arnold

(Turns on the light and opens the window) What do you want, Helga?

Helga

I want to apologize, Arnold. I mean, you were right, I was being mean to you and Summer for no reason at all. But the good news is it's okay.

Arnold

It is?

Helga

Yes, it's perfectly fine because the thing is, I just heard Summer talking and it turns out she's not at all what she seems.

Arnold

She's not?

Helga

No, Arnold, you see, she's actually evil. And she's got this whole crazy plot against you.

Arnold

When are you gonna give it up, Helga?

Helga

But I'm telling you the truth! Summer is a monster, Arnold. A horrible, scheming monster!

Arnold

Sure she is. I gotta go. (closes the window)

Helga

No, Arnold. Wait! (Arnold turns off light and she grunts) Criminy! I've got to make him listen to me.

Dock

(Summer and Arnold are sitting on the edge)

Summer

Oh, Arnold, we've had such an incredible week, haven't we?

Arnold

Yeah.

Summer

Hey, I know the perfect way to capture it. Come on!

(They get up and Helga is hiding under the dock trying to get Arnold's attention)

Helga

Psst, Arnold! (Arnold sees her hanging onto a pole) Don't listen to her!

Grandpa Phil (To ducks, suddenly realizing he was hallucinating)

Wait a minute, you're not my ancestors, you're a bunch of ducks.

Sandy

So you sure he doesn't have a clue?

Summer

Arnold? No way! He's pathetic. He's in love with me. I could probably get him to build me five sandcastles.

Sandy

But we just need one, baby.

Summer

I know -- one sandcastle, we get first prize, I totally blow off Arnold and get to be on Babewatch, this plan worked out so perfectly. (Summer and Sandy kiss passionately)

Helga (to crushed Arnold)

I'm sorry, Arnold.

Arnold

You were right the whole time, Helga.
(Summer walks over to where they are)

Summer

Oh Arnold, there you are! Ready to build our winning sandcastle?

Arnold

Forget it, Summer; I'm onto you! I know you think I'm pathetic and I know you've been lying to me this whole time.

Summer (surprised)

Arnold, I---

Arnold

I just heard you and that Sandy guy. You were just using me.

Summer (shocked)

But--

Arnold

I'm not building any sandcastle with you, ever. Goodbye, Summer.

Helga

Goodbye, Autumn! It's been a blast. Too bad your evil plan fell flat on its face!

Arnold

Sorry I didn't listen to you, Helga. I guess you were really just trying to be my friend.

Helga

Well, I figured it was the right thing to do; I mean, she was taking advantage of you and I couldn't just-- Well, hey, what the heck are we standing here talking for? We got a sandcastle competition to win. Come on!

Miriam
B, where you been? You were right: the beach is incredible! I want to come back next year.
Big Bob
There isn't gonna be a next year, Miriam: we're never coming back to this forsaken dump; we're leaving right now!
Miriam
(Laugh) B, you're such a kidder! (Hits Bob on the back, still laughing as Bob screams)

Guy
... and the Winners of this year Sandcastle Competition are Arnold and Helga! Congratulations, guys! For first prize both of you will be appeared in the hit TV Show Babewatch filmed right here in our beach!
Helga
That right, me. I'm The Winning Girl.
(Summer Cries)
Sandy
It'll be alright... (Summer pauses crying and punches his stomach) OW!
Summer
(Summer keeps crying)

Babewatch set

(The intro sequence brigand and after that, a clapperboard claps on a new scene)

Director

(through a megaphone) And action!

(Arnold pretends to drown and the lifeguards come to the rescue. Arnold goes under the water. Helga, wearing a one-piece lifeguard swimsuit, grabs Arnold out with another lifeguard and sets him down. The female lifeguard gives him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation until Helga intervenes)

Helga

(pushes her aside) Move over, Barbie! I've got this one.

(Helga only gives him a kiss on the lips with a moan. Arnold reacts when he opens his eyes and Helga looks at him with one eye open)

Director

And... Cut! I said cut. Young lady, we've got this shot. Please cut. All right, kill those lights.

(The episode ends)