The eagle has landed, Miriam.
Oh, it's just so exciting.
Seven whole days of Olga.
This is gonna be great.
This stinks!
Why can't Olga just go
to Fort Lauderdale
like a normal college student?
It's the same thing
every year.
Olga comes home for a week,
she's the center of attention,
and I'm shoved
into the background
like I'm invisible
or something.
(SCOFFS) Some sister.
All she ever thinks about
is herself.
She's never cared about me.
No wonder we don't get along.
(SIGHS) Oh, well.
Olga and I
will never be close.
Mommy! Daddy!
-Oh, come over here!
-We missed you, dear.
Is that you hiding back there,
baby sister?
It sure is.
Nothing gets by you, Olga.
You're such a silly.
Now, give us a hug.
That's such a pretty bow.
Is it new?
I've only worn it
since I was four.
Oh, Helga,
I've missed you so much.
Really, I have.
I've been thinking about you
ever since my developmental
child psychology class,
which absolutely
changed my life.
I learned that
sibling relationships
are the most important
inter-personal relationships
we as human beings
can ever form.
And so, I decided
that I want to use
my vacation
to bond with you.
Huh?
I want us to spend
every waking moment together,
getting to know each other,
sharing secrets.
You know, Helga, you and I
have never been very close.
I want that all to change.
You do?
Oh, yes, Helga.
That's why I planned
a special surprise
only I can't tell you
what it is until tomorrow.
(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)
I mean, it's bad enough
that Olga
has to be so darn
touchy-feely,
but then she has to bust out
this "let's get closer
together" crap
all on top of it.
I'm telling you, Phoebe,
she's giving me the creeps.
Well, at least she'll
only be here a week.
Class, I am happy to announce
that we have
a special addition
to our academic family,
a student teacher.
Another teacher?
One is bad enough.
Please join me in welcoming
our new instructor,
Miss Olga Pataki.
Good morning, boys and girls.
And surprise to you,
baby sister.
I'm not really home
for spring break.
I'm spending
the entire semester
here at P.S. 118,
pursuing my true passion,
the teaching of
little children.
I was gonna go to Alaska
to teach Inuit students,
but then I was struck
with a brilliant idea.
If I came here instead,
I'd get to teach
and spend time with you
getting closer.
Isn't it fantastic?
So, since you're gonna be
hanging around
and we're gonna be spending
a lot of time together,
I thought we'd better
set up a few
healthy boundaries.
Boundaries?
(STAMMERING)
Like, for starters, you don't
wanna boss me around too much
or meddle in my
personal affairs.
It just wouldn't look good.
And if I were you,
I'd steer clear
of any embarrassing
family stories.
It might make
people uncomfortable.
Wouldn't you agree?
Don't be such a silly.
I'd never do
any of those things.
No, really, Olga, I'm serious.
I've got a reputation
and a lot of years
put up in P.S. 118,
and I don't wanna lose that.
You know things about me
that can blow all that work
right out of the water.
Helga, don't worry.
I assure you.
Your concerns are my concerns.
The one sole all-encompassing
purpose of my being here,
my primary goal,
my raison d'etre,
is to simply get closer
to you, baby sister.
(SIGHS) Oh, come on, Olga.
You're just saying that.
No, Helga, it's true.
You see, I realized
all those spring breaks past
weren't exactly wonderful
between us.
And I suppose much of it
was my fault
for, well, for being
a little bit selfish.
But I want this year
to be different.
I want us to get along.
I want us to try.
You're really serious?
Oh, yes, baby sister.
Will you give me that chance?
Will you give us that chance?
(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)
Oh, another "F."
I always fail.
I might as well just give up
on book learning altogether.
You mustn't give up, Stinky.
If at first
you don't succeed,
try again.
You know, class, this reminds
me of an inspirational story.
It's about a little girl
who didn't think
she could overcome
her own problem.
Was she a failure
at book learning, too?
No, Stinky. This little girl
had another kind of problem,
you see.
She was a bed-wetter.
(GULPS)
(ALL GASPING)
Hard as she tried, she just
couldn't stop wetting the bed.
Every night, she went to sleep
with rubber pants
and rubber sheets.
And the tragic thing is
that this bed-wetting went on
until she was seven years old.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
That's pathetic!
Yes. But one day, she decided
enough was enough.
And that brave little girl
threw away her rubber pants,
and went to bed that night
determined to overcome
her delicate problem,
and she did.
And after that night,
she never wet the bed again,
except for one or two
little accidents.
And do you know who that
little girl grew up to be?
Look, it's Helga,
the bed-wetter!
(LAUGHTER)
(GROANS)
Listen, you big tub of lard.
If you ever
call me that again,
I swear I'll...
OLGA: Helga!
It's not a very nice way to
play with your little friends.
But... (SIGHS)
But nothing, baby sister.
I'm gonna have to
assign you detention
for the rest of the week.
And I feel like
I'm truly connecting
with the children.
How wonderful, honey.
Yeah, that's great, Olga.
Now, pass me one more
of your home-made dumplings.
(DOORBELL RINGS)
Arnold!
Hey, Helga.
I mean, what are you
doing here, football head?
Arnold's here for his tutoring
session with me.
That tears it.
She's embarrassed me,
given me detention, and now
she's stealing the affections
of the boy whom for years
I've tormented and belittled,
but whom I secretly
and passionately love
in my own twisted way.
She doesn't wanna
be closer to me.
She wants to destroy me.
I've gotta get rid of Olga
before she completely
wrecks my life.
(TIRE HISSING)
(CHUCKLES)
If Olga can't drive her car,
then she can't
get to work tomorrow.
(TIRE HISSING)
(SIGHS) A day without Olga.
This is gonna be sweet.
Oh, Helga, there you are.
I had a flat tire
this morning.
Isn't that fantastic?
At first,
I thought it was terrible,
but then I realized it was
actually a lucky thing.
I thought, "Why am I
driving to school
"when I can take the bus
and be with my baby sister?"
Isn't it just wonderful?
(GROANS)
When Olga bites into this,
she'll freak out
and have to go home.
(CHUCKLES)
Oh, look.
Someone left me
a shiny red apple.
(GASPS)
Mmm! (GASPS)
There's a worm in it!
(GASPS)
Miss Pataki,
I think I'm gonna...
I think I'm gonna
have to lie down.
Do you think you can
handle the class
for the rest of the day
by yourself?
Olga's lesson plan.
If she's unprepared for class,
maybe she'll get fired.
(CHUCKLES)
Hmm. That's so strange.
I've misplaced
my lesson plan.
Well, that's okay, but, gosh,
what... what are we going
to do without a lesson plan?
Well, I don't wanna overstep
my boundaries,
but we could take
the children to the park
and organize a nature study.
(CHEERING)
That is a wonderful idea.
Thank you, Miss Pataki.
So, this is
about your sister?
Duh! In case
you haven't noticed, Arnoldo,
Olga is making me miserable.
Have you tried talking to her?
Only about a thousand times.
But she's too busy blabbing
about how wonderful
everything is
to listen to me.
Then you have to make her
listen to you.
How? You mean,
like, with a club
or a baseball bat
or something?
No. With just
plain honest talk.
Sit her down and tell her
how you really, really feel,
even if it hurts.
If Olga really cares about you
like she says she does,
then she will listen to you.
What is it, Helga?
Did you need me to help you
with your homework?
Gosh, isn't it so wonderful
that I can help you
and we can get closer
at the same time?
It's perfect.
No, Olga, it's not perfect.
It's not?
No, it's not. It's rotten.
Rotten? But how could
it be rotten?
We're spending
so much time together,
getting to know each other.
That's the rotten part.
Look, Olga, you think
you're getting to know me,
but you don't know
the first thing about me.
You think spending a lot
of time together
is making us closer,
but it's not.
The truth is, Olga,
I can't stand you.
(VOICE BREAKING)
You can't stand me?
But all I ever wanted was
to be closer to you, Helga.
I tried. I really did.
But I just didn't do
anything right.
And now you hate me,
baby sister.
You hate me, and there's
nothing I can do about it.
(SOBBING)
Well, there is one thing.
What, Helga? What can I do?
How can I show you how much
I love and care about you?
I'll do anything,
just name it.
Just tell me what to do.
But Helga,
I still don't understand.
If I get on that plane
and go to Alaska
to teach desperate
and underprivileged
Inuit children,
how will that ever make us
closer to each other?
Olga, I know it may not
make much sense
to you now, but trust me.
The further away you are
from me, the closer we'll be.
I don't understand, Helga.
But I do trust you,
baby sister.
Then get on that plane.
If you don't,
you and I will both regret it.
We'll regret it today,
tomorrow,
and for the rest of our lives.
But Helga, I may not
see you for a year.
Think of all
the Inuit children
who need your teaching skills.
And in your spare time,
you can think of me.
Okay. Yes.
(SNIFFLES) I will.
(SOBBING)
Get on the plane, Olga.
OLGA: "Dear Helga,
Alaska is wonderful.
"I'm really connecting
with the Inuit children.
"I still don't understand
what happened between us.
"But all I know is I miss you
terribly, baby sister.
"Write soon.
Love, love, love,
more love, Olga."
HELGA: "Dear Olga, I'm glad
to hear you're doing well.
"Everything here is fine.
"Most of the kids have even
forgotten about the incident.
"From Helga."
"Love, Helga."