(DOG BARKING)
(THUNDERCLAP)
(SCREAMING)
I vant to suck
your blood.
(SCREAMING)
No, get away!
No!
(HISSING)
(SCREAMING)
I reckon that lady
should've wore herself
a turtleneck, Arnold.
MAN: The vampires have
arrived.
They are everywhere.
You must know
what signs to look for.
Sensitivity
to sunlight,
aversion to garlic
and thirst for blood
are all marks of vampirism.
If you find yourself faced
with one of these ghastly
beasts,
your only recourse
is immediate elimination.
(ALL CLAMORING)
(STINKY LAUGHS)
Boy, oh, boy,
that movie sure
was a hoot.
So, what should
we do next?
Stop by the arcade,
get an ice cream cone?
Play some baseball?
I vote for all the above.
Uh, no thanks, guys,
I gotta get home.
You know,
before it gets dark.
Sid, it's 3:30.
Yeah, well, better
be safe than sorry.
I don't wanna be outside
when the night walking
blood thirsty vampires ghouls
come out in search
of blood.
Willikers, Sid,
I never knew you were
such a dang scaredy cat.
I'm not scared, Stinky,
I'm just...
Just playing it safe,
that's all.
Oh, yeah, then what
are you hanging around
with me for?
On account of
I'm a vampire
(IMITATES VAMPIRE)
And I vant to suck your blood.
(SCREAMS) Cut it out, Stinky.
Oh, relax, Sid,
I'm just pulling your leg.
Besides, everyone knows
vampires ain't real.
Stinky's right, Sid.
Yeah, well,
I'm not taking
any chances.
I'll see you guys tomorrow
in the daylight
Willikers, what
a dang scaredy cat.
(WOLF HOWLING)
I vant to suck
your blood.
(SID SCREAMING)
No (PANTS) get away,
no!
(SCREAMING)
Wait a minute.
It was just a dream.
There's no vampire.
(GASPS) Boy, howdy.
I really gotta
try and relax.
(INHALES, EXHALES)
Uh, hey, Sid,
how's it going?
Oh, fine, Arnold,
I'm not thinking
about vampires at all.
In fact, I'm perfectly
relaxed.
(CHUCKLES)
Now that is some serious
eye wear, Stinky.
Thank you, Rhonda.
Not only do they
keep the sun
out of my sensitive eyes,
but I think they make
me look right snazzy.
(INHALES, EXHALES)
Garlic bread, Stinky?
No, thank you, ma'am,
I never touch garlic.
Thank you for
your enthusiasm, Stinky.
But the blood drive
is for faculty and staff
only.
(SIGHS) That's too bad,
ma'am,
on account of blood drives
are among my all time favorite
school functions.
(BOOKS DROPPING)
SID: It's incredible, Arnold.
It's just like in the movie.
First the guy came
to the class
wearing those sunglasses.
Turns down
the garlic bread at lunch
and then he gets excited
about a blood drive.
A blood drive
for faculty and staff only.
Slow down,
what you talking
about?
I'm talking about Stinky,
Arnold, and the fact that
he's a vampire.
Oh, come on, Sid,
a lot of people wear
sunglasses,
it doesn't make
them vampires.
Neither does not liking
garlic. And as far as
the blood drive goes,
I bet Stinky was just
excited about the free
cookies they give out.
You're wrong, Arnold,
Stinky's a vampire
and I'm gonna prove it to you.
Just you wait and see.
(SID READING)
"The first step in proving
that your friend is a hideous,
underhanded creature
"of the night is to find out
if he has a reflection.
"If the suspected evil-doer's
image does not readily
appear
"in a mirror or
a photograph,
he is most likely a vampire."
(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING)
See, Arnold? I told you,
Stinky's a vampire
and this picture proves it.
There's nothing
in this picture.
Of course, there's nothing
in this picture.
Because vampires have
no reflection.
They can't be photographed.
Stinky's dark powers
caused this picture
to come out empty.
Oh, come on, Sid.
Stinky doesn't have
dark powers and this picture
doesn't prove anything.
Except maybe that
you don't know how
to use a camera.
Fine, don't believe me,
it does't matter.
'Cause there's lots more
proof where this came from,
you'll see.
"The second step
in determining whether
or not your friend
"is a monstrous
blood-sucking demon
"is to find out if he has
unusually large, protruding
eye teeth,
"i.e., fangs."
Check it out, Arnold.
Pretty scary, huh?
It's a baloney sandwich,
Sid.
It's not just
any baloney sandwich,
it's Stinky's baloney sandwich
and it has huge fang marks...
They're just teeth marks,
now cut out all this
crazy vampire talk
and give Stinky
his sandwich back.
Hey, where's my sandwich?
All right,
I'll give
the sandwich back.
But Stinky is
a vampire.
Trust me,
you'll be a believer
soon enough.
"The third step in figuring
out if your friend is a
grisly, night walking fiend
"is to catch him
in the transformed state
of big, hairy vampire bat."
(GASPS)
(CHITTERING)
've finally got it, Arnold,
the mother of all proof.
What is that?
It's Stinky, Arnold.
In his hideous
vampire bat state.
I caught him last night
flying around his yard.
You've got to be kidding.
No, I'm completely serious,
I stopped him and caught him
with my hat.
Sid.
Now I know what
you're gonna say.
How can I be sure
I got the right bat?
I know that I did,
Arnold,
because I saw this one fly
right out of Stinky's room.
Plus, Iggy told me that
Stinky wasn't on the bus
this morning
and that can only
mean one thing.
He stayed home
sick today?
No, that I've got him.
Right here.
Sid, you're completely crazy.
There is no way
that that bat is Stinky.
Arnold, no, wait,
what are you doing?
Arnold, I can't believe
you let Stinky go.
Now he's gonna seek
revenge on me for sure.
He's gonna come after me
and suck my blood.
(SOBS) I'm doomed.
Doomed. (SOBS)
You are not doomed, Sid.
Yes, I am and now my
only chance of survival
is to go to Stinky's house
tonight and eliminate him
before he eliminates me.
Fine, if that's the way
it's gonna be, then I guess
I have no choice
but to go with you.
That's great,
'cause I could use your
help for destroying Stinky.
I'm not going
so I can help you.
I'm going so I can
prove to you once
and for all
that Stinky
is not a vampire.
I don't see anything.
Wait a minute, there he is.
Hmm, that's kind
of odd.
SID: Odd? Arnold,
he's wearing a cape.
Look, I'll admit that
Stinky's outfit
is pretty strange
but it doesn't
prove anything.
Come on.
Arnold, look.
ARNOLD: Okay.
That is weird.
See, I told you.
I know what it looks
like, Sid,
but there's no way...
The guy's in there
sucking on the neck
of a goat,
what more do
you need?
That proves it.
The final nail
in the coffin.
So to speak.
Anyway, the point is,
Stinky's a revolting fiend
and he must be destroyed.
I know it's unusual
but I'm sure it's all just
one big misunderstanding.
Misunderstanding? The guy
just climbed into
a wooden box.
Let's just go inside
and talk to him.
Talk? You can't talk
to a vampire,
he'll hypnotize you
with his ghoulish gaze.
We've gotta take action.
What is that?
It's my vampire elimination
stake.
(SQUEAKS)
It's a rubber squeak toy.
Give me a break,
it was the best I could do
on short notice.
Anyway, I've got a plan.
I'm gonna climb up
the side of the house,
sneak inside
and surprise Stinky.
Then I'm gonna
eliminate him
You wait here
and keep guard.
(SIGHS) Sid, wait.
(THUNDERCLAP)
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
(DOOR OPENS)
STINKY: Heya, Arnold,
what brings you by
at such an unreasonable hour?
Thinks I'm
a vampire?
Uh-huh and he's sneaking
into your upstairs window
right now
with a rubber sword
to come and eliminate you.
(SQUEAKS)
(SCREAMS)
Why in the heck
would Sid think
I was a vampire?
Well, for one thing,
you're wearing
that cloak.
(THUNDERCLAP)
(SCREAMS)
What about that goat?
I mean, we saw you bite
its neck.
(GRUNTS)
Whew.
And what about
that coffin?
Aha! At last, I have
reached the dark one's lair.
(CRASHING)
Prepare to face the music,
vampire.
Arnold, what
are you doing here?
I told you wait
outside and keep watch.
It's okay, Sid,
I've talked to Stinky
and everything is fine.
He's not a vampire.
Oh, no, Stinky has already
gotten to you.
He's hypnotized you,
and bit your neck
and turned you
into a blood-guzzling
phantom.
Hey, who are you calling
a blood-guzzling phantom?
Uh, I don't know, Stinky,
maybe the guy wearing
a cape?
It's not a cape,
it's his night shirt.
All the Petersens wear 'em,
the hard collar protects our
large, yet delicate ear
from the cold.
Yeah, right.
And I'm sure you
have a clever explanation
as to why you were
maliciously sucking the blood
out of the neck
of that poor, innocent goat.
It's his taxidermy project.
He wasn't sucking its blood,
he was just biting off
a thread.
See? It's stuffed.
I seen a loose thread
and I bit it off with
my teeth.
Yeah, right and I bet
that coffin over there
isn't real either.
It's not a coffin, is it?
Of course not,
it's a tanning bed,
Pa reconverted it.
We got us
a patent pending.
I'm sure that's
exactly what you what
me to think, vampires.
Now prepare
to be eliminated.
Come on, Sid,
enough is enough.
STINKY: Quit acting like
a dang fool.
Get away I say,
get away, you worm
ridden vampire jerks.
All right, we'll get away,
but first you have to look
over your shoulder
and tell me what
you see.
Yeah, right. You just wanna
distract me so you can bite
my neck and turn me
into an unclean
spook like yourself.
I wasn't born
yesterday, you know.
Sid, just look,
would you?
Okay, okay, I'll look.
But don't you try
any funny stuff.
What do you see?
I see two ghoulish,
horrible vampires
in a mirror.
How can we be vampires
if we have reflections?
Wait a minute,
that's right, vampires
don't have reflections.
So that means
you can't be undead
after all.
That's what I've been
trying to tell you
this whole time.
Wow, I guess I must've let
my imagination
get the best of me.
You can say that again.
I sure am sorry, you guys,
I bet you think
I'm a real dope.
Pretty much,
but it's okay, Sid.
Sorry again for accusing
you of being a depraved
monster, Stinky.
Don't mention it.
(SQUEAKING)
Oh, there you are,
little guy.
I was wondering
where you went.
Boy, you ain't gonna
believe the crazy night
I've had.
Some fellows came by
and actually accused me
of being a vampire.
Can't imagine
where they got that idea.