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- I have a great idea! Why don't we play chess? How about a tournament?
- We'll meet you tomorrow... on the gridiron. (Leaves)
Edmund (Off-screen)
- What's a gridiron?
Wolfgang (Off-screen, whispers)
- Shut up...
- We're going to beat them?
- Sorry, I got carried away.
- Nice going head boy, now we're all going to get carried away, On stretchers! They're fifth graders! They older, bigger, more brutal.
Arnold
- Size isn't everything Helga, maybe we're smarter.
Helga
- Smarter? Being smarter doesn't have to do with anything with football.
Arnold
- Hey, Helga, who died and made you quarterback?
Helga
- 97
- (Kids groan while doing push-ups.)
Helga
- 98
- (Kids groan while doing push-ups.)
Helga
- 99! Come on! Get up! Walk it off. Let's go! We're going to practice everyday until I start seeing some improvement. And let's start thinking positively, think like winners, you bunch of losers.
- (Harold vomits)
Helga
- Any questions?
- Ahh, I just throw up my protein drink! (Vomits again)
Sid
- Uh, Mr. Wolfgang, sir, please don't make us play against you on Saturday.
Wolfgang
- Oh, trying to chicken out, huh?
Helga
- No, we're not!
- Actually, I have a dentist appointment on Saturday.
- I have to get some stitches removed.
- Ah gotta git mah hair waxed.
Harold
- And I have to feed my dog.
Helga
- Harold, you don't even have a dog!
Harold
- Okay, okay. Then I'm just scared and cold and sorta nauseous!
Phoebe
- Perhaps we should let Arnold be quarterback for a while.
Helga
- Phoebe! Have you lost your mind?!
Gerald
- Look! If we don't run Arnold's plays, then I quit!
Eugene
- This is wonderful! Everything is going our way, nothing can stop us, plus it's a lovely fall day!
(It starts to rain)