It's your grandma's
veal chops, Arnold.
Thanks, Mr. Green.
(CAR SCREECHING)
Grandpa,
are you all right?
I'm fine but my darn car
is in a gigantic hole.
Third time this month
the package ended up in there.
That good for nothing
Councilman Gladhand.
I complained to his office
again just yesterday.
But nothing.
But did you talk to him
in person?
Nah, those politicians
are always at lunch.
Well, it's 4:30,
I'll give it a try.
He's at lunch,
a late lunch.
Boy, oh, boy, that just really
puts the gravy on the whole
lousy brisket, doesn't it?
Maybe it'd be better
if we went down to
his office and talked to him.
That's an idea.
I'm going down there
right now.
Come on, Arnold.
Good luck at City Hall.
Give 'em heck, boys.
(LAUGHS)
Who's going to help me
get my car out of
this hole.
I'm sorry but
councilman Gladhand is still
in his working lunch.
But it's almost
dinner time.
He's in a very important
committee meeting.
(PEOPLE LAUGHING)
GLADHAND: Oh well, well.
That was a very
productive lunch.
Always happy to help out
a major campaign contributor
like you, Mike.
(LAUGHS)
Uh, Mr. Councilman, sir,
you have some visitors.
Why, this is wonderful,
a concerned young citizen
and a local tradesman.
It's a perfect
photo-op, Lorraine.
We didn't really come here
to take pictures, Councilman.
My name is Marty Green.
I got a butcher shop
on Vine Street.
This is Arnold.
My pleasure
Sure. Nice to meet you.
Now, we came here to complain
about a giant pothole
on our street.
My grandpa's Packard
is stuck in it.
Packard, fine old
American cars.
Yeah, it's a great car.
But about the
pothole problem...
Mr. Green,
I promise you that
in no uncertain terms,
my comprehensive problem
solving committee will look
into this pothole quandary
in the most expedient
time frame possible
and make a comprehensive
recommendation for the
quickest possible solution.
Now, I'm off
to a most important meeting.
Upcoming elections.
Three weeks. Vote Gladhand.
Uh, we'll see what happens.
Hey, looks like
Councilman Gladhand is doing
what he said he would.
A board!
A lousy plywood board.
That's his solution.
Uh, yeah, the order
came in right from
Councilman Gladhand himself.
It's a pretty good board,
you know.
(CAR ENGINE STARTS)
Councilman said
to stick a board there
and the job's done.
Well, it's a little bit
of progress. I guess.
(CAR SCREECHING)
Dang nabbit! Again?
(ALL GASPING)
(ELECTRICITY BUZZING)
(CAR HONKING)
Hey, the lights
just went out.
Transformer is dead.
Thank you Councilman Gladhand.
(GRANDPA GRUNTS)
(BANGING)
Hey, folks, here I am again,
crawling out of
this big stupid hole
that I drove my car into.
We all have
the same complaints.
And Gladhand
just promises things
but doesn't deliver.
(PEOPLE SHOUTING)
If Gladhand would have
just fixed that pothole,
the old man wouldn't have
driven his car into it.
Yeah!
Wait a minute.
Who are you calling old man?
I know I'm just a butcher,
but this whole situation
is turning into a rotten
stinking piece of beef.
(PEOPLE SHOUTING)
I know and love
the neighborhood much better
than Gladhand does.
He should fill up
these potholes.
Mr. Green for Councilman.
Yeah!
Wait, I'm just a butcher.
You can do it Mr. Green.
ALL: (CHANTING) Mr. Green.
Okay, I'll do it.
I'll run for Councilman.
Hooray!
Will you help me, Arnold?
Sure, Mr. Green.
So, wrapping up.
We have to
work together.
(CAR DOOR CLOSES)
So, Mr. Marty Green,
you think you can beat me
in the elections.
Well, sir,
I'm going to try.
And are you going to help
the butcher, little boy?
Arnold is my
campaign manager.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Do you have
any experience, Arnold?
I helped my best friend Gerald
get elected as the president
of the fourth grade.
Impressive. Well,
Mr. Green and Campaign
Manager, Arnold,
I challenge you to a debate
in front of our friends
and neighbors.
So how's next Monday night?
I'll be happy
to debate you,
Councilman.
Uh-uh. The Councilman
is way ahead of me
in the polls, Arnold.
Don't worry, Mr. Green.
The polls can change.
When you're up
on the stage
tomorrow night,
just say exactly
how you feel
about things.
You know, be yourself.
GLADHAND: This election
constitutes a battle
of attitudes,
dispositions and perspective.
There he goes again
with all his fancy words.
Vote Gladhand.
You'll be glad you did.
I can't just be myself
up there in that debate,
Arnold.
He'll eat me alive.
I got to come up
with some fancy words.
I got to out Gladhand,
Gladhand.
I really don't think
that's the best way to do it.
Arnold, I appreciate
your concern
but I'm about to lose
this election.
So I got to do
what I think is best.
I got to get out of here.
(CHEERING)
The next question
in the debate is,
how would you describe
the current condition
of our neighborhood?
Councilman Gladhand.
The current
livability environment
is such in our
specified district
that the inhabitants
thereof enjoy a status quo
that is unwavering
in its comfort
and fruition level.
I say don't go green,
go red, white and blue.
Vote Gladhand.
(CHUCKLES)
You'll be glad you did.
Mr. Green,
same question.
As a member of the,
um, citizenry, of the, uh,
this area, I think, um,
as a lifelong resident
we have to state,
no, explain, um,
in a loud cacophony...
(STUTTERING)
What's he doing?
He's not saying anything.
(MARTY CONTINUES INCOHERENTLY)
(AUDIENCE JEERING)
What are you
doing out there?
I took a chance
using those big words
'cause that's what I thought
the people wanted to hear.
Instead, I bored them
all to tears.
And I hate wearing
this three-piece-suit.
I'm not fooling anyone.
No one out there
wants to be fooled.
They want to hear you
just be yourself and talk
about what you know.
And what do I know?
I'm a butcher.
You know a lot of stuff.
You work hard
and you run a business.
Being a councilman
is like running a business.
This may sound crazy
but imagine if
the neighborhood
was like a big butcher shop.
Big butcher shop, hmm?
I could talk
just like myself,
like a butcher.
I like it, Arnold.
I'm a butcher
who's mad as heck
about potholes
and knows about pot roast.
That's good.
Ladies and gentlemen.
We're ready to start
the second half
of the debate.
I, I better get
out there, Arnold.
Good luck.
Thanks, kid.
And thanks for the advice.
You're a good egg.
Um, let me ask you something.
Why you spending
so much time
trying to get me elected?
Because I love
this neighborhood
as much as you do, Mr. Green.
Now I realize
I was trying to use
big fancy words before
but they didn't
really mean anything.
I'm your butcher,
but I also want to be
your councilman.
If you elect me
I will listen to everyone
just like I pay
special attention
to each piece of poultry
when I pluck it,
marinate it, and cook it.
(ALL CHEERING)
MODERATOR:
Councilman Gladhand,
how will you deal with the
persistent pothole problems
in the neighborhood?
(STUTTERING)
The betterment
of our neighborhood
depends on a, a consolidated
joint effort by
all peoples involved.
What are you talking about?
(CROWD JEERING)
(STUTTERING)
Mr. Green, same question.
Our neighborhood
is like a prime cut of meat.
It's special.
You can't just throw
a prime cut on a grill
and forget about it.
And you can't just forget
about the problems
of our neighborhood.
If elected I'll make sure that
all the potholes are filled.
I care about my neighborhood.
It's a prime cut of a place.
CROWD: (CHEERING AND CHANTING)
Mr. Green! Mr. Green!
He's just a butcher.
He's talking about meat.
(CROWD CHEERING)
CROWD: (CHANTING)
Mr. Green! Mr. Green!
MARTY:
Let's not overcook
the important issues.
I don't sell hamburger
and call it filet mignon
and as your councilman
I won't draw a board over
a pothole and called it fixed.
(CROWD CHEERING)
Thank you.
Hey, Arnold.
I respect the fine work
that you did as Mr. Green's
campaign manager,
and so I thought
that I would propose
that we make a pact.
A pact?
I want Mr. Green
to quit the race.
If he does I'll fix
the pothole in front
of his shop tonight,
and I'll throw
a big catered party
for your whole block.
And what about
the other potholes?
What about
the rest of the neighborhood?
I'll form a committee
to study the issue
ex-post facto.
Look, Mr. Green's
not going to quit.
He's a good honest guy
who wants a fair election.
I have to go.
Good luck.
Arnold.
Just try to get
Green to quit, please.
Do you like balloons?
Oh, I've got balloons.
Please, kid?
Please!
(PEOPLE CHATTERING
INDISTINCTLY)
(PHONE RINGING)
Hello.
(VOICE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY
OVER PHONE)
Really? Oh, thanks.
Oh, no, I don't like
the sound of that.
You've lost. Almighty!
Actually, everybody,
I won!
(ALL CHEERING)
I want to thank you all
for supporting me.
And I especially
want to thank Arnold
who helped me from day one
and is a really good friend,
and a good guy.
ALL: (CHEERING)
Arnold! Arnold!
Congratulations,
Councilman Green.
Hey, used a new marinade
on this shish kebab.
Want to try it?
Yeah, I would,
Councilman, but I don't
trust politicians
(LAUGHS)
Grandpa...
I lost.
Lorraine. Lorraine!
(GLADHAND SOBBING)
Lorraine.
Whoa!