Class, I have
a very special announcement.
Tomorrow, after school,
we are receiving
a very special visitor,
Mr. Johnny Stitches.
The famous fashion designer
is coming to search
for a new model
for his junior kids' line.
(EXCITED CHATTER)
So, if you're interested
in auditioning,
make sure you wear
something special.
And come by the auditorium
immediately after school.
Oh, and sign up on this list.
(CHILDREN CHEERING)
(SCOFFS) Modeling.
What a joke!
What are you
talking about, Helga?
Modeling's about
fame and fortune.
Life in the fast lane.
Hello?
Modeling's about
starving yourself all day
wearing goofy clothes,
and walking up and down a ramp
like you're in
some kind of a freak show.
Whatever you say, Helga.
It's a waste of time, Geraldo.
Well, come on, Pheebs,
let's go throw rocks
in the river.
Um, yes, well, first I have
a small task to do though.
Oh, man, Phoebe,
how low can you go?
Well, I'll tell you one thing.
You're not gonna see
Helga G Pataki on a runway.
No stinkin' way.
That's enough, little girl.
Thank you.
I'm ever so thankful
you took the time to see me.
"Ever so thankful."
Oh, that's rich
and creamy, that is. Next!
Perfect!
If you had a stuck-up,
posh little debutante ball.
(SCOFFS) Oh, I never.
Well, now you have. Goodbye.
Tata, au revoir, ciao, baby.
Next! Mouse-y!
Hayseed
Seventies!
Hmm...
No.
(EUGENE GROANS)
Next!
This guy doesn't like anybody.
What's he looking for?
He's looking for
one of those
dope-y clone models,
you know, some airhead
who walks around like this.
Look at me, I'm a model.
There's no individuality.
There's no personality.
Show me something new!
I'm a super model.
I'm a super-duper model.
I haven't eaten in four weeks.
(KIDS LAUGHING)
Camille, look at
that weird girl.
(FRENCH ACCENT)
Supposed to be a bit,
how you say,
touched in the head.
Touched? She's brilliant.
That pink dress,
that whimsical hair,
that powerful eyebrow.
That's the girl I want.
That girl is it.
What are you
talking about, no?
Don't you understand?
No one ever refuses
to be Johnny Stitches'
new "It girl."
Yeah, well,
there's a first time
for everything, bucko!
Helga G Pataki
ain't nobody's chump.
You do realize,
you bratty little thing,
that you're turning down
fame, glamour, celebrity.
Big deal!
Trips around the world.
Who cares?
And lots and lots
of free stuff.
Free stuff?
As in stuff
that's handed to you
and you don't have to
pay for it.
And all I have to do is...
Sign this!
Now, here's
the game plan, Helga.
You watch how Camille
walks down the runway
and you copy her, got that?
Smashing. All right.
Camille, um,
show us your stuff.
(SIGHS)
Let's go, Ms. It girl,
it's your turn.
And now, smile.
(ALL LAUGHING)
It was brilliant.
I love it! Shocker!
(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING)
JOHNNY: Work it. Work it.
Own it, baby.
Now, give me
that bad girl scowl.
What "bad girl scowl"?
That "Stuff it all,
I hate the world,
kiss my bum" scowl.
Hey, cool it, T-bag.
It's brilliant.
Oh, that's it.
Ooh, yummy.
Yeah, work it.
Work it. Shocker!
Reload and shoot more.
(GROWLS)
The new "It girl" look
is more than
a dress and a bow.
It's a scowling,
combative attitude
that is sweeping through
our schools, our cities,
even our revered talk shows.
(GASPS)
(SIGHS)
(SCREAMS)
Oh, we are just
so proud of you, Helga.
Oooh!
Look everybody,
can you believe it?
It's the "It girl."
You scowl, you snare,
you shake your fist,
and the crowd goes wild!
They love it!
They absolutely love it!
Oh, give it a rest, Revis!
The "It girl" snapped at me.
I love it! I love it!
You're amazing,
you're astounding,
you're on a rocket
to the moon!
(ALL CHEERING)
I simply can't get over it.
I hope she'll sign
my magazine.
Hey, Helga, how's it going?
It's fine, it's all going
just wonderfully fine.
I sneer and I scowl
and I shake my fist,
and all those fashion idiots
go wild. It's ridiculous.
Are you having any fun at all?
I got some free stuff.
A lifetime pass
to Dinoland? Not bad.
Arnold, I've been
sneaking into Dinoland
since I was seven.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Oh, it's probably Johnny,
he's the biggest pain
in the...
Can I have your autograph?
Shove off, toots!
(GASPS) The "It girl"
scowled at me
and pushed me.
I'll never wash
this arm again.
(GASPS)
The "It girl" snapped at me.
I love it! I love it!
The cute dress,
the nasty attitude,
You're amazing,
you're astounding,
you're on a rocket
to the moon!
(CHUCKLING) "A rocket
to the moon."
Dad, will you please
stop watching that tape?
Oh, I'm just
real proud of you, girl.
For what?
Well, for doing that scowl
and saying
those mean things, and
wearing that pink dress.
Bob, hello!
I've been scowling
and saying mean things
and wearing this dress
for years!
Well, it's finally payin' off.
But, Dad, I'm sick
of the whole thing.
I hate being the "It girl."
I've got no privacy,
the phone never stops ringing,
and everybody's
dressing exactly like me.
Oh, come on,
don't be ridiculous.
Not everybody's
dressing like you.
Look, everybody,
I'm the "It girl."
(SCREAMS)
Quit? You can't quit.
Look, Johnny, it's over, pal.
It was great
being the "It girl" and all,
but I'm out of here.
See you around.
Helga,
you silly nit,
you signed a contract.
Didn't you read
the fine print?
You're signed to me
for the next
three years, missy.
What?
Junior fashion week
begins Monday,
where I'll be presenting
my new spring line,
and you will be wearing it.
Oh, yeah? Well, I hate you!
I hate this stupid office!
I hate being the "It girl"!
And I hate those
creepy leather pants!
(EXCLAIMING EXCITEDLY)
That's bad.
You're so bad.
(GRUMBLING)
Well, see you
tomorrow, "It girl."
That little worm.
I'll make him wish
he never met Helga G Pataki.
He wants bad?
I'll give him bad.
(CROWD CHANTING "IT GIRL")
(CROWD CHEERING)
(CROWD CONTINUES
CHANTING "IT GIRL")
Uh-oh.
(ALL CLAMORING)
Out of my way, schmo.
Hey. Helga,
what are you doing?
Oh, just tearing
pictures of myself
out of this magazine,
crumpling them up,
and casually tossing them
over my shoulder.
And you're doing this because?
Because being
the "It girl"
really bites.
But, Helga,
everyone in the country
wants to be like you.
What's so bad about that?
What's so bad about it?
I'm trapped.
Everyone's running around
dressing like me,
acting like me,
walking like me!
Well, then,
why don't you just quit?
Don't you think I tried that?
I tried acting
as awful as I could,
so they'd fire me.
But, no. The worst I act,
the more they love it.
Why don't you try acting nice?
Here, at junior fashion week,
you can literally feel
the excitement
and anticipation
in the air. The question
on everyone's lips is,
what will
the "It girl" do next?
(CROWD CHANTING "IT GIRL")
After everyone
sees this new line,
I'll be the toast
of the whole bloody
fashion world.
Let's see that
bad girl stuff now.
(CROWD CHEERING)
(GASPS)
What the devil is she doing?
I love you all.
You've all been
so wonderful to me.
I just want to hug
each and every one of you.
Guys, tell me
this is not happening.
(GROANS)
(CHUCKLES WICKEDLY)
A shocker here,
at the Junior Miss
fashion show.
Johnny Stitches' "It girl"
seems to have lost her "It."
Instead, the hot story
is over on runway 5.
The "Hat girl."
(CROWD CHANTING "HAT GIRL")
I'm ruined. Ruined.
The "It girl" is fired!
Tear up her contract.
Bollocks!
Hey, Helga.
Looks like
everything worked out
the way you wanted.
Yup. Johnny tore up
my contract.
I'm free as a bird.
You know,
it's funny that people
could hate you so much
just for acting
nice and polite.
Well, I'll tell ya,
football head,
it's a funny world.
Personally, I thought
you were great up there.
It's the first time
I ever saw you,
well, being nice.
I liked it.
You did?
Yeah. Why can't you
act nice like that
all the time?
Arnold, Arnold, Arnold.
I can't do that. I'm mean
and nasty and insensitive.
That's just who I am.
That's what makes me special.
Whatever you say, Helga.
You got it. Whatever I say.
Now, get out of my way,
football head!
Are you the "Hat girl"?