Hey Arnold!: The Jungle Movie/Transcript

Film	Trivia	Goofs	Quotes	Transcript	Gallery	Credits

Prologue

(Miles' journal spins into view.)

Arnold

(voiceover) Grandma! Grandpa! You have to see this! I found a map!

(Crossfade to a plane flying in the night sky.)

(voiceover) A map, the key to finally finding my missing parents.

(The plane flies into a familiar island as the title appears on screen.)

The island

(Arnold climbs up the mountain wearing a pilot's uniform. He sees footprints embedded on a path.)

Arnold

This has gotta be them.

(Arnold takes off his helmet and flips the pages of his father's journal to the map. Arnold continues following the footprints until he comes upon a temple.)

The temple

(Arnold shines a flashlight over his surroundings, which resemble the inside of the boarding house.)

Arnold

Mom? Dad? Where are you?

(Arnold comes upon a room with two large doors kept guard by two giant statues of his grandparents. The door shines a light and he sees his parents, their faces obscured.)

Miles and Stella

Arnold!

Arnold

Mom! Dad!

Stella

I can't believe how much you've grown.

Miles

And you're still wearing the hat we gave you!

(Arnold attempts to approach his parents for a hug, but they disappear.)

Arnold

Wait. I've been looking for you, trying to find you.

Stella

I know. What have we missed?

Miles

Show us the neighborhood.

Arnold

What?

(Arnold looks in the direction of a rumbling volcano in the distance as the scenery starts to warp.)

This is really weird! Mom? Dad?

Miles and Stella

Yes, Arnold?

Arnold

You've been lost for so long! I mean, I always believed you were alive somehow, but...

(An airplane flies over Arnold's shadowed parents and over Arnold's head a la North by Northwest.)

Eduardo

Stella, Miles, I need you for one last mission!

Arnold

Wait! Where are you going?!

Miles

We're off on another mission with Eduardo!

Arnold

No! Not again!

Miles and Stella

Bye, Arnold!

(Arnold looks down and sees a heart-shaped hole in his chest growing.)

Arnold's room

(Arnold wakes up gasping and falls out of his bed. He looks at his desk area, which is covered with photos and various relics concerning his parents. He takes down a photo of his parents with Eduardo.)

Arnold

I wonder if I'll ever find them.

Sunset Arms main floor

(Arnold walks down the stairs as a toilet is heard flushing and Grandpa walks out of the W.C. as usual.)

Arnold

I know, Grandpa. "Don't go in there for a while."

Grandpa

(tossing Arnold's hair) Ho ho! Ya know me so well, short man.

Arnold

Did you wash your hands?

Grandpa

(Timpani shot.) I knew I forgot somethin'. (walks back in)

Arnold

Grandpa, I had that dream again.

Grandpa

Oh? What happened this time?

Arnold

My parents were here — well, sort of — and it seemed like they were gonna stay.

Grandpa

But then they left on another mission. Oh, I'm sorry, Arnold. I miss them, too. But I'm glad you get to see them even if it's only in a dream.

Sunset Arms lobby

Grandpa

Oh, but it's better than the nightmare I keep havin'. I live in a rundown old boarding house, renting my rooms to a bunch o' weirdos who always want things from me.

(In the dining room, plates fly over Grandpa's head.)

Ernie

Hey, Gramps, what's for breakfast?! I'm starvin' here! Starvin', do ya hear me?!

Grandpa

(to Ernie) Imagine that! (to Arnold) It's a livin' nightmare.

Oskar

Make me a sandwich, old man.

Mr. Hyunh

Crispy fries and a tofu burger for me, please, and step on it!

Ernie

Hey, Arnold! Finally, someone with some sense around here!

Arnold

Hi, Ernie!

Oskar

Hey, Arnold.

Arnold

Hi, Oskar.

Mr. Hyunh

Hey, Arnold, good to see you.

Arnold

Hi, Mr. Hyunh.

Grandma

(as a striking union worker, talking) All power to the workin' stiffs! (jumps on the table) All power to the proletariat! We demand a living wage!

Arnold

Morning, Grandma.

Grandma

(off bullhorn) Hello, dear.

Grandpa

You're not foolin' anyone, Pookie! Back in the kitchen!

Abner

(snorts)

Arnold

Abner, I don't have any food. Oh, except this apple here.

Abner

(sniffs, grunts disgustedly)

Arnold

I know what you want.

(Arnold tosses some bacon to Abner, which he eats.)

Abner

(grunts happily)

Arnold

Bye, everyone! Come on, Abner!

Mr. Hyunh

A pig eating bacon? It's very creepy.

Outside Sunset Arms

(Gerald is seen walking outside the building. Arnold opens up the door.)

Ernie

See ya, Arnold!

Oskar

Arnold, be well!

(As usual, several animals run out of the boarding house, followed by a bat. Gerald dodges them all.)

Gerald

Hey, Arnold, ready for the best day of school?

Arnold

The best day, Gerald?

Gerald

Yeah. Today's the last day of school. Therefore, by my calculations...

Arnold

It's the best day.

(Arnold and Gerald do their thumbs up handshake and walk toward P.S. 118.)

Outside Big Bob's Beepers

(As evidenced by the "Everything Must Go" banner above the building, Big Bob's is no longer the beeper empire it once was. Helga walks out the door to join Phoebe, followed by Big Bob wearing a bathrobe, who gets the morning paper.)

Big Bob

Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Where do you two think you're going?!

Helga

School, Dad! Remember? Kids? School? The place we go to get away from doofs like you?

Big Bob

Fine. Go learn. But come right back and help me sort beepers.

Helga

Didn't you get the memo, Bob? Nobody wants beepers anymore! Ever heard of cell phones?

(Helga throws away a beeper, which Phoebe catches.)

The street

Phoebe

It is true, Helga. A communication device used to alert someone to make a phone call: a relic of an obsolete technology.

Helga

I hate beepers! Well, the only thing that I can kind of tolerate— Oof!

Arnold

Ooh!

(Helga and Arnold, as usual, bump into each other.)

Helga

Arnold! I mean, I said, everybody out of my way, hair boy! Jeez! What are ya, blind?! Doncha even know how to not crash into people!

Gerald

Got one more, Helga?

(Arnold reaches out his hand to help Helga up, but she slaps it away.)

Helga

Ha! Yeah! Maybe you should get walking lessons for your birthday, Arnold!

Arnold

(chuckles) Whatever you say, Helga.

Helga

(sarcastically) Ooh, good comeback, Arnoldo! Doi! C'mon, Pheebs.

Phoebe

Following.

P.S. 118

(The school bell rings and Mr. Simmons greets all the students at the door. Crossfade to later that day.)

Mr. Simmons

All right, class, settle.

Mr. Simmons' class

Mr. Simmons (cont'd)

I know you're all excited about the last day of school, but get ready for even more exciting news!

Harold

Is it that I can do this?

(Harold puts both of his fists into his mouth. Sid and Stinky applaud reluctantly.)

Mr. Simmons

No, it's not, Harold. Anyway, the news is, we've been selected to compete in a very special contest! A great humanitarian organization in Central America that helps the less fortunate is sponsoring it. (Arnold looks interested.) They build habitats that provide living space in the rainforest. And they wanna celebrate kids that exemplify their spirit!

Phoebe

Mr. Simmons, what do we have to do win the contest?

Mr. Simmons

Excellent question, Phoebe! We submit a video presentation of our class being humanitarians in our own neighborhood!

Sid

What's the prize?

Mr. Simmons

Curly?

(Curly performs a drumroll with his pencils on his desk.)

A class trip to San Lorenzo!

Arnold

San Lorenzo? The San Lorenzo?

Harold

Is that the new Mexican restaurant?

Stinky

Naw. That place has been there a while.

Mr. Simmons

Close, Stinky. It's a beautiful, proud republic to our south. This is where we'll go if we win the contest.

Harold

To a Mexican restaurant!

Mr. Simmons

No. To San Lorenzo, the country. And the organization that will host us is called "Helpers for Humanity."

Arnold

That was the group my parents worked for!

Gerald

And isn't it the same San Lorenzo where your parents disappeared? It's almost like this contest is designed for you.

Helga

Quiet down, jerk-faces! I'm trying to concentrate on the clock.

Mr. Simmons

Class, I know you're excited to get to work on this video presentation, even though it's the last day of school.

(The clock strikes two and the bell rings.)

Students

School's out for summer!

(They all stampede out the door.)

Harold

I have a summer of stuff to eat!

Helga

So long, suckers! Hahaha!

(Arnold raises his hand.)

Arnold

I'll do it!

Gerald

I will, too!

Mr. Simmons

Great! We're on our way to winning. It's due in a week.

(Brass sting.)

The streets of Hillwood

(Later that evening, Arnold and Gerald pass by Chloe and Peapod Kid talking on the stoop of a building.)

Arnold

Okay, we'll make the best video ever.

Gerald

We'll win this thing, go to San Lorenzo, and find your lost parents.

Arnold

Yeah, but the prize isn't a free trip for me to go looking for them.

Gerald

True, but how can you not try to find your lost parents, especially since you've got your best friend to help?

Arnold

(laughs) Okay, let's win this contest.

Gerald

And get you some answers. It'll be our secret.

(They fist bump and do their thumbs-up handshake.)

Gerald

Now, we just gotta do somethin' humanitarian.

Monkeyman

(humming and planting a flower) Monkeyman.

Arnold

I know! Let's build a habitat for Monkeyman, right here on the river!

Gerald

You're a bold kid, Arnold.

Montage

(Arnold and Gerald get to work getting supplies. Back at the Sunset Arms, Arnold crosses off a day on his calendar. The next day, Arnold and Gerald get out some supplies from Grandpa's Packard. As the montage continues, Arnold, Gerald and Monkeyman continue their handiwork and Arnold crosses more days off his calendar. Arnold and Gerald take a sofa out of the dumpster, but some homeless people look angrily at them.)

Homeless Man #1

Hey!

(The montage resumes until it gets closer to the day the project is due.)

The riverbank

(Camcorder footage.)

Arnold

(narrating) Where once was a dirty urban riverbank, we've provided a comfortable floating dwelling for one, as well as a habitat for the local birdlife!

Monkeyman

Monkeyman!

Gerald

Great, Arnold! Now I just shoot some more angles of our awesome completed habitat!

(The homeless raid the habitat.)

Homeless Man #2

I was hoarding that!

Homeless Woman

My tire collection!

Homeless Man #2

Thief! Thief!

Homeless Man #1

I'm takin' it all back!

Homeless Woman

They took my stuff!

Homeless Man #1

That bird's my lunch!

(The habitat falls to pieces.)

Arnold

No! Oh...

Monkeyman

(sadly) M... M... Monkeymaaaaaan!!

Gerald

Hey, Arnold, where ya goin'?

Arnold

That was my last chance to find my parents.

(Gerald walks away to reveal Helga spying on her secret love from a trash can.)

The park

(Arnold walks through the park looking at various happy families enjoying their evening. Abner approaches him carrying his leash.)

Abner

(squeals)

(Arnold walks Abner through the park. He suddenly spots whom he believes are his parents, but it turns out not to be.)

The pier

(Arnold spots the homeless and Monkeyman floating on a makeshift raft.)

Monkeyman

Monkeyman!

Homeless People

Monkeyman!

Homeless Woman

Give me the leg, I like the dark meat.

(Arnold makes his way back home when he once again bumps into Helga.)

Helga

Hey! Sheesh, Arnoldo! Watch it! Stop crashing into me!

Abner

(snorts)

Helga

So, takin' a walk and thinkin' about how you've completely flopped so far in winning the San Lorenzo contest? Ha! This just in: you equals failure.

Abner

(snorts angrily)

Arnold

Actually, I was just kind of thinking about my life, and how I haven't seen my parents since I was a baby. I wish I could see them again.

Helga

Well, I— That's news. I mean, if you... wanted to talk about... ffffff... ffffff... ffffff... (exhales) fffff... ffffeelings!

Abner

(snorts angrily and butts his head at Helga's leg)

Arnold

Sorry, Helga. I think Abner's gotta do a number two. See ya. C'mon, Abner.

(They walk away.)

Helga

(groans) Thwarted by a dirty, imbecilic pig! All I wanted to do was tell that stupid Arnold... (takes out her locket) ...that I'm here for him! I'm listening. I'm remembering everything he says. Every deep thought, every soul-searching utterance, yes, even every hem and haw! Arnold, I've tried to tell you, but you've yet to show me that you've noticed that you have feelings, too. So I resort to what I do best: being scorchingly mean!

(Helga kicks a rock, which hits right back in her head.)

Ow! Okay! I'll be kind... (sighs) And, uh, understanding, and..

(Right on cue, Brainy emerges from the trash can behind Helga.)

Brainy

(wheezes)

(As always, Helga punches the daylights out of Brainy, and he falls over into the river.)

Helga

Aha! If I help Arnold win that tip to that crazy San Lorenzo and help him uncover the mystery of his long-lost parents—maybe even find the lost losers—then Arnold will be eternally grateful... and might even return my love! It's win-win! What a great plan! Whee!

Big Bob's Beepers

(Helga emerges from the rooftop, takes the dust cover off something and plugs something in. It turns out to be an Arnold-shaped Bat-Signal, which Phoebe spots. Helga goes into her closet, lifts up her Arnold shrine and goes into a secret surveillance room.)

Helga

Phoebe, I need a hero video stat!

Phoebe

Right. Arnold tapes 155E, 17C, 101F. Pulling.

Helga (on video)

How does this thing— Oh!

(On the screen, a reanimated clip from Field Trip is shown, in which Arnold and Grandma are washing Lockjaw.)

Arnold (on video)

Hey, I think he's starting to trust us.

Helga

Oh, that's right! Arnold even saved that dumb turtle!

Arnold (on video)

Don't worry, buddy. We're bustin' you out of this joint.

Helga

He's helped half the city! I'll show those fancy-pants judges why he's got to win! (to Phoebe) We're gonna need more. But now I need someone to actually make something out of all these.

Outside Gerald's house

(Gerald is seen watching videos of Arnold helping Grandpa wash dishes, reanimated clips from Part Time Friends and Tutoring Torvald on Helga's BananaBook.)

Gerald

Mm-mm-mm. This is an epic story you're asking for, Helga. Where'd you get this footage?

Helga

Security cameras, okay?

Gerald

Uh-huh. All labeled and organized in perfect sequence. Whoa! That's Arnold's bedroom! How'd you—

Helga

(closes the laptop) Never mind!

Gerald

Major creep factor aside, you know this footage is what we need to win the contest. I thought you hated Arnold. Why are you suddenly helping him?

Helga

Because otherwise I'd have to watch that stupid football head mope all summer! (Gerald and Phoebe laugh knowingly) We've got to make this video work so Arnold can get to stupid San Lorenzo! It really matters to him, doi! You in?

Gerald

Okay, I'm in. But only if you get everybody to help.

Helga

No problem. They can just talk to Old Betsy here.

Gerald

All right, let's do this.

Brief montage

(On the bus, Arnold and Abner are riding their way back home. In Helga's surveillance room, Harold writes a sign saying "THE LEGEND OF ANROLD", while Sid brings Phoebe hot chocolate, who shares it with Gerald.)

Sunset Arms

(It's the next day, which turns into night. The bus pulls up to the boarding house, and Arnold and Abner walk up to the door, coming from another sad walk.)

Grandpa

Well, that was one long, sad walk. I almost rented your room out.

Arnold

(sighs) Hi, Grandpa.

Grandpa

Someone came to see ya. They're up on the roof.

Arnold

The roof?

Grandpa

I 'unno. I just work here, short man.

The roof

Crowd

Shh, shh!

(Arnold walks up to the roof.)

Arnold

(gasps)

Everyone

Surprise! Arnold! Arnold! Arnold! Arnold! Arnold! Arnold!

Arnold

This is incredible! Everyone's here!

Gerald

You better have a seat, Arnold.

Arnold

Why? What's going on?

Gerald

Lights!

(The lights are dimmed and a video starts. On the screen is a sign being held up with "THE LEGEND OF ARNOLD" written on it. The "RN" part being taped over a misspelling. The sign is removed to reveal Sid on the stoop of the boarding house.)

Sid (on video)

The Legend of Arnold will be passed down from kid generation to kid generation and onward, and Gerald is the Keeper of All Legends, the Teller of All Tales. Take it away, Gerald.

Gerald (on video)

(clears throat) We call him "Arnold", friend to all, force for decency, doer of good.

(During this, reanimated clips are shown from "The Vacant Lot", "Best Friends", "The Baseball", and "Eugene's Bike".)

Gerald (on video)

He's the most dependable, trusty, true blue friend I can ever imagine. Help you in a second, no questions asked. And I know plenty of others say the same. Let's hear from some people who Arnold has helped.

Stoop Kid (on video)

(Stoop Kid is seen on the stoop of City Hall.) I would've never left my stoop. And now look at me, sittin' on the biggest stoop in the city. And it's all because of Arnold. Now I can harass people from my stoop, and from off my stoop! (laughs) Anyway, guy's got a great heart.

Rhonda (on video)

(Rhonda is seen taking selfies with her cell phone.) He helps me get over myself. Now I'm tolerant, gracious, and self-effacing. Oh, and humble. I'll get a copy of this, right?

Dino Spumoni (on video)

(Dino is seen on stage with Don.) Arnold put me back together with my old partner Don, and remade my career. I get applause from fans, but Arnold's the real star, baby!

Pigeon Man (on video)

Arnold helped me escape the cage of my old rooftop habitat. Now, I'm as free as a bird! Merci, Arnold. (Pigeon Man is shown to be outside Notre Dame cathedral in Paris.)

Big Patty (on video)

(Big Patty is seen bullying a kid.) Arnold listened to me and treated me just like another friend. He's, y'know, pure of heart. I'll never forget that, Arnold.

(During these next few lines, reactions are seen from the people watching the film.)

Coach Wittenberg (on video)

I can inaudibly say that the over-esteemed Arnold put the "Coach" back into "Coach Wittenberg"!

Harold (on video)

I was a one-dimensional bully until Arnold showed me my sensitive side.

Curly (on video)

"Arnold". Never heard of him.

Eugene (on video)

Arnold almost killed me.

Lila

(laughs)

Eugene (on video)

But then saved my life, got me a new fish... (Everyone laughs.) ...kept me from going bad. Thanks, Arnold! What a pal! (A pigeon attacks Eugene on film. We see Eugene all bandaged and bruised.)

Peapod Kid

(laughs)

Eugene (on video)

I'm okay!

(During this, we see reanimated clips from "Harold's Kitty", "Mugged", "Downtown as Fruits", "24 Hours to Live" and a new clip of Arnold helping Monkey Man.)

Gerald (on video)

Pure of heart. That's Arnold. And that's why he deserves to win the trip to San Lorenzo, because he's done so much for others. He's a humanitarian, just like his parents, and they help us through humanity.

Monkeyman (on video)

Monkeyman!

(The entire gang, sans Arnold, is seen sitting on the boarding house stoop.)

Gerald (on video)

Hey, Arnold. You're a bold kid, and a true hero.

(At the end of the film, Harold and Stinky attempt to moon the camera while everyone gasps, but Sid holds up a "THE END" sign over them.)

Sid (on video)

(laughs nervously)

(Applause and cheers as Arnold wipes away tears from his eyes.)

Arnold

Thank you all so much! But aren't we too late to enter the contest?

Mr. Simmons

I have wonderful news, Arnold! Once the Helpers for Humanity saw this video, we were immediately selected to go to San Lorenzo! That's right! We won!

(Everyone cheers, but Grandma and Grandpa look concerned.)

Grandpa

Hmmm.

Mr. Simmons

Never fear. I have every minute planned out for this trip. Getting anyone lost is definitely not on this agenda!

Grandpa

Mmm, you ever travel with a dozen kids before?

Arnold

I know this video wouldn't have happened without you, Gerald. I can't thank you enough!

Gerald

You should thank Helga. This was her idea. You should see all the videos she has of—

Helga

Of the things! Ha, around the city, amazing! Anyway, it's done. We're going to San Lorenzo.

Arnold

Wow! Thank you, Helga.

(Arnold puts his hand on Helga's shoulder, causing her to get a buzzing sensation and hear fireworks.)

Helga

(happily) Oh-ho! And I... have to go wash my socks! (She leaves)

News report

(A reporter is seen outside the boarding house. During this, Helga walks outside and cheers loudly and sings unaware.)

Newswoman

So that's the story! A football-headed kid wins the contest and gets to go with his whole class to the Central American country of San Lorenzo!

(In Arnold's room.)

Arnold

Believe it or not—

(The footage stops, and various shapes appear around Arnold's head until a green football-shaped outline of his head with the text "FOOTBALL SHAPE DETECTED" appears. Pull out to reveal it on a laptop while we hear sinister laughter from the person using it.)

Arnold's room

(Arnold is at his desk flipping through the pages of Miles' journal. Grandpa enters.)

Grandpa

Well, short man, your passport's here.

Arnold

All right!

Grandpa

Ah-ah-ah-ah! Not yet! Now, Arnold, I'm still worried about your taking this trip. Remember all the trouble your parents got into with that evil river pirate Lasombra? (sighs) That was practically the last time we heard from them.

(Arnold snatches the passport from Grandpa's hand.)

Grandpa

Oh, fine. Don't forget to sign it with your name as it appears on your birth certificate.

Arnold

(signing) Arnold... Shortman.

(Brass sting as his full name is finally revealed.)

Grandpa, San Lorenzo is a big country. I'm not going to look for this "Lasombra" guy. And I doubt if I'm gonna run into him.

Grandpa

Pfft! Let's hope not! This is just a school trip to visit the rainforest, not about you finding your parents.

Arnold

Don't worry, Grandpa. I'll stick with my class the whole time. But since I'll be in San Lorenzo, I have to at least look up Eduardo. He was my mom and dad's best friend.

Grandpa

(sighs) Well, you could at least do that.

(Grandma kicks the door open dressed as a French general and blows a trumpet poorly.)

Grandma

(holding a handmade blowpipe) Venture forth armed with this, Kimba.

Grandpa

Pookie! Arnold will never get a handmade blowpipe through security! Oh, and, uh... (rummaging through Arnold's drawer, takes out a stapler) Here, short man. Take this instead. It'll remind you of home.

Arnold

Um, thanks?

Grandma and Grandpa

Just be careful, Arnold.

The airport runway

Stinky

That sure is a lotta luggage, Miss Rhonda.

Rhonda

One bag for every day of the trip. That's how I pack.

Mr. Simmons

(Hugs Peter goodbye, then turns.) Harold, why do you have a deli platter?

Harold

My mom gave me this in case there's no food in San Lorenzo.

Mr. Simmons

There's plenty of food there, Harold. No platter necessary.

Harold

No platter?

(Harold eats one of the sandwiches, puts the rest into his pants, and throws the platter away. As usual, we hear an inexplicable cat yowling in the background.)

Helga

(takes out her locket) Oh, Arnold! Though on the outside, I appear to hate the idea of going to some godforsaken jungle with you, just merely a guise. I'll help you find your long-lost parents. And just maybe...

Olga

Surprise, baby sister! I'm coming along on your San Lorenzo trip as the student teacher/chaperone! Goody!

Helga

Are you kidding me? This is the worst news ever!

Big Bob

I'm worried about your safety in this Saint Lawrence place, Olga.

Helga

I'll be fine. Thanks, Bob.

Big Bob

Oh, good. You're here. Take this bag of beepers with ya and sell 'em to the locals.

Grandpa

Arnold, you're going to the jungle. So don't catch any tropical diseases like malaria, or diphtheria, or cholera...

On the airplane

Grandpa (cont'd)

...or yellow fever, or hookworm, or elephantitis, or leprocy, or tennis elbow...

(Arnold opens the window and suddenly sees Grandpa outside.)

Arnold

(yelps)

Grandpa

...or itchy armpits, or boom-boom fever, or Alder's neck rash!

Crewman

(to Grandma) Hey, crazy lady! Get outta my stair truck!

Grandma

(laughs dementedly)

Grandpa

...or Palmer's knee, or Borneo's disease, or... I don't know... athlete's foot!

Arnold

(off-screen) Y'know, I'm really gonna miss Grandma and Grandpa.

(Arnold's bag suddenly moves. He takes off his seatbelt and unzips the bag, revealing...)

Abner

(squeals and licks Arnold)

Arnold

Abner! What are you doing here?

Abner

(squeals happily)

Gerald

Guess your grandpa wasn't gonna let you leave your pig behind, Arnold.

Arnold

(laughs) Yep. I guess we've got a stowaway.

San Lorenzo airport

(The airplane touches down in San Lorenzo, and all the passengers deplane. Rhonda takes a selfie, but not before her hat comes off and her hair stands on end.)

Rhonda

(gasps) My hair!

Nadine

You know what they say, Rhonda. "It's not the heat. It's the humidity."

Mr. Simmons

Class, let's stay together while we explore, and then go to the river docks at 3pm, then it's on the boat, and—(The kids run off.)

Stop! Running is not on the agenda! River docks at three!

Olga

Come on, baby sister!

(The kids head into some taxi cabs, and head to the city.)

A market

(Nadine shows Rhonda a giant green scorpion.)

Rhonda

(gasps, shudders)

(Rhonda goes over to a barrel where Curly is waiting for her.)

Curly

Miss me?

Rhonda

(yells)

Ciudad de Puerto Clara

Gerald

Well, Arnold, we made it to San Lorenzo. So, where do we start looking for your parents?

Arnold

Sorry, Gerald. I promised Grandpa I wouldn't, but he did say I could find their best friend, Eduardo.

(A horn honks as a scooter passes by them.)

I found this old envelope with Eduardo's address on it. Here it is!

Eduardo's house

(Arnold knocks on the door, which is still open.)

Gerald

Whoa.

(Arnold and Gerald survey the house, which is a mess, and the TV is still on showing a soccer game.)

Arnold

What happened?

TV

¡Gooooooooooool!

Arnold

It looks like Eduardo kind of left in a hurry.

(Abner makes his way toward a framed photo of Miles, Stella and Eduardo, with Eduardo's face torn out.)

Abner

(sniffs, squeals anxiously)

Arnold

Abner, what is it, boy?

Gerald

I dunno what's buggin' Abner, but we better get back to meet Simmons, Arnold. We can't miss the boat.

The boat docks

(A parade passes by as Arnold and Gerald meet up with the rest of the class.)

Eduardo

Hello! Welcome! You must be Mr. Simmons and your P.S. 118 class. My name is Eduardo.

Everyone

Hi, Eduardo!

Arnold and Gerald

Eduardo?

Eduardo

(gasps) Arnold. Could it be? Arnold, it's me, your parents' best friend! ¡Qué buen fortuna! I am the captain of this boat, and I will take you up the river to the rainforest. We'll go straight to the habitat that my group, Helpers for Humanity, made.

Arnold

Yes, like my parents!

Eduardo

Of course! We all worked together.

Gerald

(shaking Eduardo's hand) Hi, I'm Gerald. What a relief. We thought that something bad—

Harold

Captain Eddie, is there a toilet on this boat?!

Eduardo

Of course, of course, me disculpe. Where are my manners? Everyone, all aboard!

(Everyone boards the boat.)

Mr. Simmons

We're on the boat, we're on schedule, the captain even knows Arnold. This'll be a perfect trip!

Harold

(while Simmons is talking) Make way! I'm coming through!

Olga

(looks the other way) I couldn't agree more, Mr. Simmons.

Eduardo

I want to introduce my crew. This is Paulo.

Paulo

Hey.

Eduardo

Steve.

Steve

Hola.

Eduardo

And Che.

(As Che enters, he is accompanied by Latin music and a dreamy-eyed Olga, who faints into Che's arms.)

Helga

Everybody loves Olga.

(The boat whistle blows and the boat, the Doña Marina, sets sail.)

Captain's cabin

Arnold

I still can't believe I'm in San Lorenzo with you, Eduardo!

Eduardo

Is it fate? Who knows?

Arnold

Eduardo, I have to know, where are my parents? Are they alive?

Eduardo

Ah, qué lástima. That's a mystery I have not yet solved either, amigo. But I bet you'd like to hear my stories of your parents.

Arnold

Yes! Please!

Eduardo

(tying the wheel of the boat) Ha! Let's see! Eh, your father was always bumping into things and breaking them. I think the first three times he met your mother, he broke something. (laughs) His arm, his head... (laughs) They were both my best friends.

(Eduardo walks over to a small chest and puts an amulet around Arnold's neck.)

Your father would want you to have this. It was a gift to him from the Green-Eyed People. You know, they helped each other many times.

(The amulet glows a bright green.)

Arnold

Huh?

Eduardo

¡Ay, qué— I've never seen this happen before! You truly must be chosen, Arnold; chosen by the Green-Eyes! Surely you know that when you were born, that you silenced the erupting volcano, Volcán Turriable?

Arnold

It was in my dad's journal!

Eduardo

The Green-Eyes saw that, too! It fulfilled a prophecy!

(The amulet stops glowing.)

Maybe, when we are upriver, we — you and me — we will find the Green-Eyed People. Maybe they will know the answer to the mystery of your parents.

Gerald

Hey, Arnold, it's buffet time.

Arnold

I, uh...

Eduardo

Go on, play, Arnold, play. Friends should be with friends.

Doña Marina deck

Harold

I love buff-ets!

Eugene

Ooh, pitaya! (He licks a pitaya fruit and immediately blows up like a balloon. He laughs.) Well, I guess I'll add "pitaya" to my allergy list.

Harold

I finished all the deli sandwiches, the carne con whiskers... (takes a plate of fish heads underneath him) Ooh! (he eats the fish heads, and his stomach rumbles) Ah! Hmm! Clear the bathroom! Emergency! Kill me now!

Olga

(giggles)

Helga

Man, Olga makes it look so easy. What's her secret? Besides being pretty and charming and nice.

Olga

I'm queen of the world!

Helga

(gags) Time to feed the fish!

Harold

Hey! ¡Ocupado!

(Arnold looks up and sees Eduardo in the crow's nest.)

The crow's nest

(Eduardo is looking through his binoculars. Arnold joins him.)

Arnold

Hey, Eduardo! What are you looking at?

Eduardo

Oh, nothing, Arnold. Nothing. But this is the jungle, and you must always be aware of the dangers here.

Arnold

...Like Lasombra?

Captain's cabin, at sunset

Eduardo

So, you've heard about the infamous Lasombra. He was not happy that your parents stole back from him a precious treasure called the Corazón.

Arnold

Is he after me? We're in danger, aren't we?

Eduardo

We could turn around and head back to safety, or we can continue ahead, and maybe, find out about your parents.

Arnold

What? But I promised... No. With you to protect us, we keep going.

Eduardo

Now, don't tell the others what we spoke about. I don't want to worry anyone.

At night

Gerald

Anything wrong, Arnold?

Arnold

Uh, uh, nothing. Everything's fine.

Gerald

Come on, man. There's no secrets with us, right? And now you've got a secret with this guy you just met?

(Arnold just gives Gerald a look.)

Fine. (He leaves.)

(Arnold looks toward the crow's nest. Helga walks admiring her locket when she sees Arnold climbing up to the nest.)

Helga

(exhales)

The crow's nest

Helga

Arnold, what a surprise! I came up here to think... about life and stuff.

Arnold

Yeah. Me, too.

Helga

So... up here, staring into the night, trying to figure out how to tell me something, huh?

Arnold

(sighs) Well, actually, I do have something to confess.

Helga

(excitedly) Confess?! Like, a confession?! Like, a deep-seated secret you've been harboring and haven't told me?!

Arnold

Yeah. You ever feel like... there's a hole in your heart?

Helga

Y-Yes! All the time.

Arnold

This whole trip's been about one thing. I wanna find my lost parents. I feel like I'm about to put us all in—

Helga

Yeah, yeah, I know all about your parents. How do you feel about me?

Arnold

Huh?

Helga

You wouldn't even be here without me! Oh, Arnold, I may act like I don't care! I may even say I hate you, but that's a cover! I actually do care about you.

Arnold

Huh?

Helga

Oh, don't play dumb, Arnold! You know what I'm talking about! You're like some weird old wise man, for crying out loud! I know you can handle the truth, and I can, too!

Arnold

What are you talking about!?

Helga

I'm talking about the fact that I really like you, Arnold, like thunder likes lightning, like faces like fists! (a light begins in shine on them) You know, like-like! In fact, I lo—

Arnold

(gasps) There's a boat coming!

(Arnold climbs down the crow's nest.)

Helga

(screams furiously in frustration)

The boat

(Helga takes the picture of Arnold out of her locket, angrily rips it into pieces, and throws the empty locket into the river. Arnold goes up to the captain's cabin, but Eduardo's not there. Helga drops the ripped pieces of the picture of Arnold into the river. Arnold keeps looking for Eduardo. Helga leaves, sad and heartbroken.)

Brainy

(wheezes)

(Brainy dives into the river. Arnold finally sees Eduardo.)

Arnold

Eduardo!

Abner

(sniffs Eduardo, snorts, squeals, and runs away. He tries to warn Arnold, but is ignored and jumps off the boat)

Arnold

Eduardo! (pants) There's... a ship!

(As lights shine on the two, the ship grapples onto the Doña Marina, and Steve and Paolo come out to attempt to fight them off.)

Eduardo

Arnold, it's Lasombra!

Arnold

I knew it! What are we gonna do?!

Eduardo

We'll fight back and get away! Stay down where they cannot see you!

Arnold

But what about my friends?

Eduardo

Forget them!!

(The fighting continues.)

Mr. Simmons

(inside the sleeping quarters with the class) Oh, dear, a pirate attack? Not on the agenda!

(During the fight, Helga sadly walks around oblivious.)

Olga

Fight hard, Che! (squeals) But don't hurt your runway-quality chiseled face!

(Eduardo returns to the captain's cabin.)

Eduardo

Hold on tight, amigo. (turns on some lights) Yes, my friend. I'm changing course down the Río de Oscuridad! It has tricky and dangerous rapids! He wouldn't dare to follow!

(Eduardo speeds up the boat, making all the students fall onto the deck screaming. He turns the ship wheel to change course, making the attackers, along with Steve and Paulo, fall overboard.)

Rhonda

Ugh! Who booked this?!

Eduardo

Bueno. Lasombra may be a ruthless river pirate, but he's not crazy — no, far from it.

(The boat starts its treacherous path through the Rio de Oscuridad.)

Curly

Whoop! There we go! Whoop! Down again! (psychotic laughter) Oh, this is so fun!

(Everyone on board is screaming as the boat continues down the rapids.)

Helga

Aah!

Phoebe

Hold on, Helga!

Harold (in the bathroom)

Can this get any worse?! (Eugene bounces around happily.)

Eduardo

(sees the upcoming drop) Hold on tight!

(The boat goes down a fall and smashes into some rocks. Eugene flies out of the boat.)

Eugene

I'm okay!

Eduardo

(kicks open the door) Everyone, abandon ship!

The shipwreck, the next morning

Arnold

Abner? Abner? Here, boy! Where are you?

Gerald

So, who's starving?

Rhonda

Oh, I have snacks in my other luggage. I'll just go back and get them.

(The ship explodes.)

Or not.

Eduardo

Now, friends, let me explain what has just happened back there.

Curly

A thrilling, classic chase scene! And now we're shipwrecked and lost!

Eduardo

Untrue. We have escaped an unexpected attack, and, yes, our boat is unfortunately wrecked, but there is good news. We are not lost. We can hike from here to our jungle habitat, a safe place.

Eugene

Is the habitat a short walk from here?

Eduardo

Oh, no. No, it's many, many... many miles, over rough trails.

Rhonda

Oh, that is such bad news.

Eduardo

Through steep, muddy jungle...

Rhonda

Ugh, just got worse.

Eduardo

But then it smooths out...

Students

(gasp)

Eduardo

And becomes an enormous swamp.

Students

(groan)

Helga

(wolf-whistles) Okay, I demand an explanation, mister! What really happened back there? Who attacked us, and why?

Eduardo

We were attacked by river pirates. Their leader is called Lasombra. He is... after Arnold.

Students

(chatter nervously, mentioning Lasombra. Gerald gasps)

Sid

Why is this Lasombra after Arnold?

Eduardo

That is Arnold's business. Let's get going. Vámonos.

Helga

We didn't sign up for this, Arnold, but you knew that already. Now we're literally up the river without a stinkin' paddle!

Eduardo

No, no fighting, no fighting! We have one big job to do now, friends: to walk. We can do this. And take only what you need.

(Curly takes off his shoes and the rest of his clothes as the students march onward.)

The trail

(Eduardo, Arnold and the rest of the group continue onward. Helga pushes Arnold into the mud, and blows a raspberry at him. Eduardo helps him up.)

The swamp

(Everyone is traversing the swamp, while bugs surround Rhonda.)

Rhonda

Oh, gross! Get it off! Oh, I think it bit me! Aah!

Nadine

Ooh! (gasps) It's like Christmas.

The trail, continued

(The group is at a rainy part of the jungle, stepping on stones. Arnold offers Gerald some help, but he refuses. At a steep hill, everyone is tired, except Stinky, who's found himself a parrot, and Curly, who's happily marching forward. While Sid helps Mr. Simmons roll Eugene up, his boots rip apart.)

Sid

My Beatle boots! (sobs)

The habitat

Phoebe

(gasps) I see the habitat!

Students

(cheer)

Mr. Simmons

We're safe! Thank you, Eduardo!

Eduardo

¡Vámonos, mijos! You can rest and dry out and have a hot dinner!

Students

(excited cheering)

Mr. Simmons

We're back on schedule!

Arnold

Yeah. I guess it all worked out!

Eduardo

Um, eh... may I have your attention? There's been a misunderstanding, which I would like to correct. I am not "Eduardo".

(He takes off his fake mustache.)

Lasombra

I am Lasombra!

(everyone gasps)

And you are now my prisoners!

(The gate closes shut, and Che drags Arnold to the front.)

Arnold

Nooo!

Lasombra

And you will remain my prisoners until this football-headed boy shows me where to find the Corazón.

(Arnold becomes pale, Mr. Simmons drops his agenda)

The habitat, continued

Lasombra

Thank you, all of you, for walking right into my trap.

Arnold

How could you?

Lasombra

Easy, see? (playing with his fake mustache) Eduardo, Lasombra, Eduardo, Lasombra, Abraham Lincoln, Frida Kahlo. Easy.

Helga

Yeah, that's hilarious, La Bozo, but I'm Helga G. Pataki, and I'm not staying! So, if you'll just open the gate, we'll be on our way. (Her way is blocked by two machetes.)

Lasombra

You are staying. I went to the trouble to arrange that whole phony contest and class trip just to lure Arnold here.

Rhonda

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have a question. Does this dump get Wi-Fi?

Lasombra

Yes. (Rhonda gasps) But I'm not giving you the password.

Rhonda

You monster!

Lasombra

(beat) How did you guess? (to burly guard) Go change it to the other password! And don't forget to write it down this time!

Arnold

Okay, Lasombra, you have me now. You can let my friends go.

Lasombra

Arnold, come on, don't be mad. You're my partner, remember? Our secret?

Phoebe

Partner?

Helga

...What secret is he talking about?

Arnold

No! I mean, he—

Lasombra

Oh, Arnold didn't tell you? We planned to go look for his precious Green-Eyed People.

Students

Green-Eyed People?

Arnold

No! No! He's twisting it all up. I thought maybe if we found the Green-Eyes, they could tell me where my parents are.

Sid

Arnold, say it ain't so! You weren't actually helping this jamoke?

Gerald

I knew it! Why didn't you just tell me?

Arnold

I'm sorry, Gerald, I—

Mr. Simmons

You've gone Benedict, Arnold! Benedict Arnold was a general who defected to the other si—

Students

WE KNOW, SIMMONS!

Helga

Sheesh! So what's so great about this mega-doofus, anyway?

Lasombra

The ancient Green-Eyes foretold that a child of the volcano will save them and they believe Arnold to be that child. For years, I've sought after the mysterious Green-Eyes to get my hands on their even more mysterious Corazón.

Phoebe

(reading from a Spanish dictionary) "Corazón. Translation: heart."

Lasombra

With him by my side, the Green-Eyes are sure to show themselves to me.

(Lasombra motions to the burly guard, who flips a switch.)

As you see, I've made a career of stealing and selling all that is precious in Central America. But one treasure still eludes me: the Corazón.

Curly

Psst! Do you need an inside man? I can be the camp snitch. Wink.

Lasombra

Sorry, kid. You are too loco even for us villains.

Helga

Great job, bringing us all here for your bogus contest, and instead, you sap, we're all prisoners of some stinkin' psycho river pirate!

Arnold

Listen, Helga, I—I didn't wanna hurt—

Lasombra

Ah, save the speech, you'll be fine. As for all of you, lock them up!

Arnold

(gasps) What?!

Che

You heard the boss. Move it!

Olga

I can't believe you did this, Che!

Guards

¡Muévelo, muévelo! ¡Rapido, rapido!

(All the students say various angry accusations at Arnold, all at the same time)

Eugene

I'm really disappointed in Arnold.

Students

(gasp)

(A guard locks the gate.)

Olga

(crying)

Helga

Next chance I get, I'm knockin' that dingus Arnold into next week!

Later that night

(Arnold is kept in a separate cell with one Flunky Guard "keeping watch", but actually sleeping, with the keys right in his hand. Arnold opens his backpack, and takes out a framed photo of his parents.)

Arnold

Mom, Dad, all these years I hoped that we'd find each other and be a family again. But... I guess I'm never going to find you. I'll never know what happened to you. (sobs)

(Whip to the other side of the wall as Helga hears Arnold's sobs. She peeks through a hole in the wall.)

Goodbye, Mom. Goodbye, Dad. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Helga

Oh, Arnold. You poor, tortured creature. Having known the depths of your despair, I wouldn't have left your side in your time of loneliness! If ever you needed my love, it's now, and you have it, forever and always. I must do anything, make any sacrifice, to help you find your parents! Oh, Arnold, you magnificent specimen! I'm coming for you!

(Helga reaches inside her shirt for her locket, before remembering what she did with it.)

Brainy

(wheezes) Uh, Helga?

(Brainy holds in his hands the locket, with the picture of Arnold restored.)

Helga

Brainy? Ohhh! I could hit you! (She kisses him instead) Mwah!

(Brainy just stands confused, but then gets out a pan flute and dances merrily.)

Helga

Phoebe, Gerald!

Gerald

What's up, Helga?

Helga

Look, Arnold may be a total sap who traded all of our lives for a bag of metaphorical magic beans, but he needs our help. We gotta do something!

Gerald

Ugh. That kid's gonna be doin' my chores for weeks to make up for this, but I'm in. What's the plan?

Helga

Phoebe?

Phoebe

Hmmm. We can't all escape at the same time. They'll certainly notice our absence and capture us again.

Gerald

Okay. So, Helga, you and I bust Arnold out so we can find these "Green-Eyed People", and, Phoebe...

Phoebe

I'll take care of everything here.

Even later that night

Harold

(crying) I miss Arnold! (crying)

(Helga and Gerald nod at Phoebe, who nods at Curly.)

Curly

Yah! (rides Olga like a horse) Hi-ho, Silver!

Olga

Oh, no! Curly has gone completely crazy! Get him off of me! Help!

Curly

(laughs)

Phoebe

See you on the other side... (kisses Gerald on the cheek) ...handsome.

(Gerald blushes. He and Helga jump on top of the still inflated Eugene.)

Eugene

(laughs) It tickles!

(Helga and Gerald jump right into Arnold's cell, awakening him.)

Arnold

What's go—

(Helga covers Arnold's mouth.)

Helga

Shh.

Arnold

(quietly) What are you guys doing here?

Gerald

(quietly) We're your rescue committee.

Arnold

I thought you guys hated me.

Helga

(scoffs) Well, of course, everyone hates you, bucko, but we've gotta bust you out of here and find those "Green-Eyes" if we wanna save ourselves.

Arnold

But what can we do? Lasombra won.

Helga

(puts her hand on Arnold's shoulder.) Don't you give up now! Your blind optimism is one of your most annoying qualities.

(Beat. Helga removes her hand.)

Besides, after the Green-Eyes help us, they might have some information on your parents.

Arnold

Come on!

(Arnold attempts to take the key from the guard.)

Flunky Guard

Zzzzzzzz.... Hmm? Oh... (mumbles)

Arnold

(taking out stapler) Grandpa said this would come in handy.

(Arnold successfully snatches the keys from the guard's hand and replaces it with the stapler. He unlocks the door with ease. Suddenly the guard wakes up.)

Flunky Guard

Oh, what? What are you—? Why are you—?

(Helga knocks the guard out with the stapler.)

Helga

Grandpa was right, Football Head.

(Back in the cell, Wild Bill Curly is still riding his steed, Olga.)

Curly

(laughing)

Olga

Watch it! This isn't funny anymore!

Curly

Oh, yes!

(Arnold, Gerald and Helga scale the wall to make sure there are no guards. Helga gives the "all-clear" signal and they run for it. But not before Arnold looks at Phoebe, who gives him a thumbs up.)

Phoebe

Nadine, now!

(Nadine blows a bug from a tube, which is a spider, which lands on a guard's nose.)

Guard #1

Oh, ¡araña! (screams)

(The guard falls over, tripping into the rope that opens the gate, allowing Arnold, Helga, and Gerald to escape.)

The San Lorenzo wilderness

Arnold

(pants)

(Arnold, Gerald, and Helga are still making their getaway, when they come to a stop.)

Gerald

We did it! We're free!

(Gerald holds out his fist, which Arnold accepts and they do their handshake again.)

Arnold

Thanks for not giving up on me, Gerald.

(Helga looks down and notices a creepy crawly on her hand.)

Helga

Ah! Then, now that you dragged us to stinkin' San Nowhere-zo, how do we find these Green-Eyes?

Arnold

Don't worry. I've got a map, and according to my dad's journal, the Green-Eyes live somewhere around here. (points to the area labeled "Unknown") Come on!

Helga

(to Gerald) Cute. He's got a map.

Back at the habitat

(Two henchmen drag the beat-up flunky to Lasombra.)

Lasombra

What's going on?

Flunky Guard

Jefe, the weird-headed mocoso escaped. It's not my fault!

Lasombra

So, did a small child knock you out, or did you just fall asleep, pobrecito?

Flunky Guard

(crying) Please, Jefe, don't kill me!

Lasombra

(chuckles, laughs heartily)

Pirates

(laugh along)

Lasombra

Ah, well done. You did exactly as I wanted.

Pirates

Hmm?

Flunky Guard

I did?

Inside Lasombra's hut

(Lasombra lifts up another dust cover revealing a radar screen.)

Lasombra

See? I intended for him to escape. The Green-Eyes would not have shown themselves if I was with him, so I put a tracking device on him. Now, he will lead me straight to them. Gather the crew. We're going hunting for Green-Eyes... and their precious Corazón.

In the jail

Curly

(Still laughing)

Olga

(gasps) Oh no! They've already discovered that Arnold has escaped! Baby sister! (sobs)

Phoebe

Don't panic, Olga. Do you still have that bag of Big Bob's beepers?

Olga

Right here. But these can only receive messages. It's one-way communication... Just like me and Che.

Phoebe

But Rhonda's phone can send a message.

Rhonda

News flash: nada bar-os! (gasps)

(Phoebe takes Rhonda's cell phone and breaks it apart.)

Phoebe

I can tap into Lasombra's Wi-Fi signal...

Rhonda

My phone!

Phoebe

...and transmit a low-data package that will bypass the need for a password. Now we need to scavenge some additional parts.

(Some time later, the rest of the gang find an old telephone, a paint roller, a car battery, and some wire hangers. They make some kind of device.)

Phoebe

8-0-8 for "Bob"... and 5-0-5 for "SOS". Voila! We now have a long-wave homing beacon sending our precise coordinates.

Big Bob's Beepers

(As usual, Miriam is drunkenly asleep on the couch.)

Big Bob

(sarcastically) Thanks for the help on the new display, Miriam. Whoa!

(The beepers all activate.)

Miriam

Huh? Oh, I'm up, I'm up.

Big Bob

Beepers are freaking out. I don't get it. What does—What does "505-808" mean?

Miriam

Oh, that's beeper code for "SOS, Bob." "SOS" means "help".

Big Bob

I know what "SOS" means, but who would want my help now, Miriam?

Miriam

Aren't the girls on a field trip?

Big Bob and Miriam

(gasp) Olga!

(They run out of the store and into Bob's Hummer.)

Miriam

Oh, and the other one!

Big Bob

Oh, right, right, Helga!

Sunset Arms

(The doorbell buzzes.)

Grandpa

All right, all right. Keep your pants on.

(Grandpa opens the door to find...)

Abner?!

Abner

(desperate squeal)

Grandpa

How in the Toledo did you get here?

Grandma

Oh, my! W-W-What happened?

Abner

(squealing)

(Flashback of Abner diving out of the boat.)

Grandma

What?

Abner

(continues grunting)

(In the flashback, Abner swims to shore, only to be pursued by a water snake.)

Grandma

No!

Abner

(continues grunting)

Grandma

(gasps) No!

(In the flashback, Abner takes a ride with a bunch of bandits.)

Abner

(squeals)

Grandma

Are you kidding me?!

Abner

(continues grunting)

(In the flashback, in a Tom and Jerry-esque fashion, the snake hitches onto the back spare tire of the bandits' Jeep.)

Grandma

There's no way that happened.

Abner

(continues grunting)

(In the flashback, Abner leaps onto the wheel of a plane, still being chased by the snake, which also latches onto the wheel.)

Grandma

Oh, my stars!

Abner

(continues grunting)

Grandma

Well, you are blowing my mind!

Abner

(continues grunting)

(In the flashback, Abner is seen riding first class next to a cartoon version of Craig Bartlett, and being offered a shrimp cocktail.)

Grandma

Well, then what—

Abner

(continues grunting)

Grandma

Oh, what?

Abner

(continues grunting)

(Somehow, the snake is seen riding coach. Back to Sunset Arms.)

Grandma

They serve shrimp cocktail in first class?

Grandpa

Ya came all the way to tell us about shrimp cocktail?

Grandma

No! It's Arnold! He's in trouble!

Grandpa

But Arnold's in San Lorenzo.

(Through the magic of cartoon physics, Grandma is suddenly in a military uniform driving the Packard with Abner inside.)

Grandma

Well, what are you waiting for, an invitation? We gotta rescue Arnold!

(The Packard drives away revealing the snake.)

The airport runway

(Grandpa and Grandma are attempting to catch a plane to San Lorenzo. Grandpa holds up a cardboard sign saying "San Lorenzo." A stocking leg appears from the right.)

Grandma

Ah? Ha ha ha, yeah!

(Zooms out to reveal the stocking leg is fake and it's controlled by her.)

Grandpa

Oh, Pookie, not the fake hitchhiking leg!

Grandma

Oh, stick-in-the-mud!

(Big Bob's Hummer pulls up in front of them.)

Big Bob

Phil? Gertrude? You guys are still alive?

Grandpa

Imagine that!

Big Bob

What in the Big Bob's Beepers are you doing here?

Grandpa

Trying to get to San Lorenzo!

Miriam

Hey, us, too!

Big Bob

Well, you need a ride? We got a plane!

(Wipe to reveal the Hummer pulling up to a fancy small plane)

Grandpa

Wow! Fancy plane! The beeper business must be booming!

Big Bob

Oh. No, that's not us. This is.

(Pan right to reveal a run-down old plane with the words "Rent Me" on the wing. Abner squeals)

Back in San Lorenzo

(Arnold, Helga, and Gerald approach a waterfall.)

Gerald

So how do we get past this waterfall?

Arnold

(surveying the map) Okay, my guess is that we're... I don't know.

(Helga and Gerald notice something.)

Helga

Hey, Football Head, your shirt is glowing!

Arnold

What? (takes out the glowing amulet) Because it's next to the map?

(Arnold uses the amulet to reveal hidden markings on the map.)

Look! It's a key! There's a hidden path behind the waterfall!

(The trio walk the path behind the waterfall and come to a wall covered in vines.)

Helga

Are you sure you're even reading that map right?

Arnold

I'm positive.

Helga

(looks through the amulet) Oh, sure. So there should be some sort of giant eyeball here? You got us lost, Football Head!

Gerald

(removes some vines) Did I hear someone mention a giant eyeball?

Helga

Arnold, fork over the map. (Looks at the map to see two red markings on the giant eyeballs.) Oh, for crying out loud!

(Helga pushes the buttons as directed on the map to open the doors.)

Arnold

Good thinking, Helga! You're brilliant!

Helga

(lovingly) Oh! (back to normal) Well, at least one of us can read!

(The doors close suddenly behind her.)

Aah!

(Helga runs and steps on a stone tile, which sinks.)

Arnold

Booby trap!

(Arnold jumps and pushes Helga, avoiding an arrow heading right for her.)

Helga

Did I say it was okay to touch me?!

Gerald

Oh, boy.

(Later, Arnold looks at the map through the amulet again.)

Arnold

Oh my gosh! This shows us which tiles to avoid. Forward, forward, forward, left, forward...

Arnold, Gerald, and Helga

Forward, left, forward, right...

Arnold

Maybe we're supposed to— Oof!

(Helga and Gerald bump into Arnold, setting off another booby trap, which they narrowly avoid. Helga whacks the journal in Arnold's face.)

(Later, the trio travel on before Arnold stops the other two.)

Arnold

Hold it! It says there's some kind of false floor here. Follow my lead.

(Arnold swings onto a rope and lands on the other side, followed by Helga, then Gerald, who almost falls off a cliff.)

Gerald

Whoa whoa whoa!

Helga

Gerald!

(They save him, but Arnold receives a journal to the face again.)

(Fade to the three coming upon a tunnel.)

Arnold

It looks like we have to hug the wall.

(The three narrowly walk against the wall and out of the tunnel.)

Arnold

This way!

Meanwhile

(Lasombra and his henchmen force the first door open with their machetes.)

Lasombra

Well done, volcano boy.

(They walk forward, but Lasombra steps onto one of the traps.)

¿Qué es esto? ("What is this?")

(Arrows start flying in their direction.)

Pirate #1

¡Ándale, ándale!

(Lasombra avoids the arrows by using the Flunky Guard as a literal human shield. He drops the guard, who groans in pain.)

Lasombra

What?

(Later, Lasombra comes upon the false floor, but stops short.)

Lasombra

(to Pirate #2) Please. You first.

Pirate #2

No, Jefe! You first.

Lasombra

No, no, no, I insist. (draws his machete threateningly) You first.

(The pirate steps and falls through.)

Pirate #2

Shouldn't have gone first!!!

Lasombra

Impressive.

(They rope their way to the other side.)

(Lasombra and the others are at the tunnel.)

Lasombra

Let's go!

(No one responds.)

Fine. Good luck coming back the way we came.

(The henchmen follow him.)

Pirate #1

¡Espéreme!

(Lasombra hides inside the tunnel, leading the others to their doom.)

Pirate #1

¿Jefe?

(Giant boulders fall on the other henchmen, while Lasombra escapes unscathed.)

Lasombra

Eyes on the prize.

Ahead on the trail

(Arnold, Gerald, and Helga approach a stone shrine covered with leafs, when Arnold's amulet stops glowing.)

Arnold

Hmm. The amulet stopped glowing. There's no more information on the map.

Helga

Oh, for crying out loud!

Gerald

Well, if you don't mind, I could use a break. My dogs are barking.

Arnold

We'll have to find the Green-Eyes on our own from here.

Helga

You have got to be kidding me! This is the middle of nowhere, Football Head!

(Gerald takes off his shoe, and sinks into the well.)

Gerald

Whoa!

Arnold

Gerald! Are you okay?

Helga

Gerald? Whoa!

(Helga and Arnold fall into the well and into a pit of leafs. Helga's got Gerald's shoe.)

Gerald

Mm-mm-mm. Arnold, this statue sure looks a lot like you.

Helga

Hmm. I gotta say, it's not half-bad. (gives back Gerald his shoe) I've seen better.

(The trio suddenly find themselves surrounded by villagers in animal skins brandishing weapons.)

Arnold

It's them! It's the Green-Eyes!

Green-Eye

(gasps)

Green-Eyed children

Arnold... Arnold...

The jail

(Mr. Simmons, who by this time, has completely lost his mind, has created a makeshift classroom in the jail.)

Mr. Simmons

Class, with a little ingenuity, we can transform tragedy into a teachable moment.

(Pull out to reveal he is literally teaching a class full of monkeys.)

Mr. Simmons

Okay, class, listening ears!

(The guards laugh at the unhinged teacher.)

Phoebe

Well, so much for adult supervision. We have to break out now, and I'll need everyone's help.

(voiceover) First, Olga, you distract the guards.

Olga

(waving a handkerchief) Yoo-hoo! El Guard-o!

(The guard smiles and reveals his crooked smile. Che sees this and punches the other guard. Olga gives a thumbs-up signal.)

Phoebe (voiceover)

(voiceover) Next, Nadine, you get us the keys.

(Nadine lets some bugs crawl up a guard's pant leg. The guard screams and lets go of the keys. Nadine and Stinky pull the rug with the keys through the door.)

Phoebe (voiceover)

Harold and Sid, you get the other guards to come down to ground level.

Sid

Air guitar!

Harold

Look at me! I'm a distraction!

Phoebe (voiceover)

I'll use my makeshift electromagnet to disarm the guards.

(Rhonda kicks the magnet, which rolls and takes away the guards' weapons.)

Phoebe (voiceover)

Next, unleash the Curly!

Curly

FREE THE ANIMALS IN THE ZOO!!!

(Curly releases all the poached animals and they attack the guards. The rest of the class escapes, including the still merry piper, Brainy.)

Mr. Simmons

Class...

Curly

Let's go, buddy!

Phoebe (voiceover)

With the guards safely locked away, we simply walk out the front door.

(Or not. Because behind the door is another thug brandishing two machetes.)

Rhonda

Phoebe, what do we do now?

(A plane engine roars, the very plane that the Patakis and Shortmans flew.)

Grandma

(parachuting down) Geronimo!

Grandpa

Sacagawea!

Big Bob

Gesundheit!

Miriam

(teeth chatter)

Eugene

Wow, Phoebe, you thought of everything!

(The four adults land, with Grandma ending up on the water tower.)

Big Bob

You kids okay? We got your message.

(The guards escape from their cell, leaving the kids in a panic.)

Sid

Oh no!

Olga

Oh, Daddy, that boy was mean to me!

Big Bob

(Bob rages and attacks Che.)

You and me are gonna go round and round!

Grandma

(Jumps off the water tower and hits guards with a spin-kick/punch.) Yah! Hee-yah!

(Rhonda drives a forklift with Harold on it.)

Harold

Eat wrench! Take it!

Mr. Simmons

Agenda, comin' through!

Big Bob

Ah! Aah!

(Miriam whacks a guard with a frying pan.)

(A guard approaches Rhonda on the forklift.)

Rhonda

Ah!

(The guard chops off Rhonda's hair, she jumps off the forklift, Harold then falls off.)

Harold

Ah!

Rhonda

My poor hair!

(Sid is pursued by another guard. The guard has him cornered, ready to attack)

Guard #1

Ya-ha-ha! Ah!

(Grandpa suddenly steps out of a bathroom stall and unknowingly knocks the thug out with the stall door.)

Grandpa

Don't go in there for a while.

Curly

Look out for the claws!

Eugene

I'm like the big ball in that movie!

(Che and Bob narrowly avoid the driverless forklift, which crashes into the water tower.)

Couch Guard

(flying on a sofa) ¿Eh, qué pasa?

(The water tower floods the area.)

(falling down) Oh! Pardon me, ow!

(The top of the water tower crashes into the power lines. Che gets the heck out of dodge as the camp site explodes. The students find themselves alone.)

Grandpa

Arnold! Arnold! Where are ya, short man?

Phoebe

Mr. Shortman!

Grandma

Grrr...

Phoebe

Arnold's up there... Somewhere.

Grandma

Oh.

Following the Green-Eyes

(The Green-Eyed children are carrying Arnold on a palanquin, while Helga and Gerald follow them.)

Green-Eyed children

Arnold...

Arnold

Come on, guys! We need your help! Our friends are prisoners of Lasombra!

Green-Eyed children

Arnold...

Arnold

Yeah. I got that.

(Helga and Gerald are sauntering when they bump into the Green-Eyed children, who stop.)

Helga

Hey, what's the big idea?

The hidden city

(The children come to a door, which they open to reveal a truly stunning CGI'd paradise.)

Arnold

Whoa! The Green-Eyed People's hidden city!

Green-Eyed children

Arnold...

Helga

Yeah, yeah. (imitating the children) "Arnold..." We get it!

Green-Eyed children

Arnold... Arnold...

Gerald

Do you notice anything strange about this place? There are no grownups here.

Green-Eyed girl

(giggles)

Helga

That's the weird part?!

(The children lead Arnold to a curtained area, which Arnold approaches. The curtain pulls back to reveal a Green-Eyed girl wearing a very decorative tunic, the top of which is a topiary shaped like Arnold's head.)

Helga

Finally, a bigwig in charge!

Gerald

Literally.

Green-Eyed children

Arnold...

Helga

What? She's a kid, too?

Girl Queen

Arnold.

Arnold

Please, can you help us?

Helga

(aside, to Gerald) You don't suppose she hablas inglés?

Gerald

I got this. Hey, girl. How's it goin'?

(The Girl Queen walks right by Gerald and takes Arnold's hand.)

Helga

What the-?

Gerald

Man, why can't I ever be the chosen one?

(The Girl Queen, Arnold and the others come upon the city's centerpiece. Helga puts some distance between Arnold and the Girl Queen.)

Helga

All right, close enough, sister! (to Arnold) What?

Gerald

Hey, Arnold, check it out!

(He points to a mural.)

Helga

Looks like the king is... sleeping? Lazy much?

Arnold

This must be about the sleeping sickness... that my parents came here to cure.

Girl Queen

Arnold... kashwa batiqua!

Gerald

Looks like she's giving us the grand tour.

Helga

(scoffs) It better be grand. We've come a long way for this.

Gerald

Look! There's a bunch of people sleeping over here, too!

Helga

So is this what happened to all the grownups in this joint? They're asleep?

(Arnold comes upon a mural depicting his parents.)

Arnold

Mom! Dad! (to Girl Queen) Do you know where they are? Please, do you know these people?

Girl Queen

El dedwa kal dedu. O mashnee wateeb.

Arnold

Oh, my gosh. These paintings are like, straight out of my dad's journal! That's the first time they brought the serum to the Green-Eyes.

Gerald

The serum?

Arnold

Yeah, the cure for the sleeping sickness. But at some point, they didn't have enough?

Gerald

What's going on here, Arnold?

Arnold

My parents are making more of the cure?

Girl Queen

O mashnee wateeb. Kashwa batiqua-al. Nee-fwash.

Arnold

It's the Corazón!

Gerald

The treasure Lasombra's so crazy about?

Arnold

Child of the volcano. Is that supposed to be me?

Girl Queen

Nee-fwash! Arnold! De cori masi pura!

Green-Eyed children

(cheer)

(Two Green-Eyes uncork water, which soaks into a well, revealing a green idol. A plank appears, which Arnold walks over.)

Arnold

What am I supposed to do?

Girl Queen

O mashnee wateeb! Katida!

Arnold

I know you want me to do something, but I need more to go on.

Gerald

This... whatever-it-is looks like the thing from the painting. See? Up there. In the middle.

Helga

Hey, yeah. And they've got the Corazón there, too.

Arnold

But I don't know what to do.

Lasombra

I know what to do! ¡Buenos días, partner!

Green-Eyed children

(gasp)

Girl Queen

Parqa main kukui, Lasombra!

Lasombra

So you've heard of me. How flattering. Well, I am infamous. (laughs, then gasps) At last. The Corazón. The sacred treasure of the Green-Eyed People is finally mine!

Arnold

No, it's not yours! We need it! It's got something to do with the sleeping sickness!

Lasombra

Oh. You think so? Well, it's too late. It's mine now! And you, my fabled football-headed friend, led me right to it.

Arnold

What?

Lasombra

Oh. You did not realize you were wearing a tracking device?

Arnold

The amulet?

Helga

Gah! Of course!

Lasombra

Yes. I used the Green-Eyed People's own treasure against them. I though it was a very clever evil touch. And after centuries of being hidden, you, Arnold, brought me right to them.

Helga

Where are our friends?!

Lasombra

(taking the treasure) Ah, don't worry. My guards are keeping an eye on them. Speaking of which, who is guarding this place? Wait. You are all children?

Helga

Uh, doi! Welcome to five minutes ago!

Lasombra

A hidden city, full of treasures and no guards, only children to stop me from taking it all? Why stop at the Corazón?

Arnold

No! You can't take their things!

Lasombra

You're right. Why take anything, when I could bring people here and sell it to them? I could charge admission! (The Girl Queen takes out a knife.) I can see it now: "Hidden-City Land."

(gets the knife thrown in the back) Ow!! How dare you?! Ah! (gets bombarded by the kids) You meddling— You don't understand capitalism! (Arnold takes the bag, and notices his amulet glowing again.)

(throws everyone off of him) Aah! (draws out his machete and approaches Arnold with it)

Green-Eyed children

(gasp)

Girl Queen

Cas dequa!

Lasombra

I can see we're not wanted here, Arnold. ¡Vámonos!

Arnold

No!

Lasombra

No? (laughs) I need you, partner!

Helga

Arnold!

A rope bridge

(Lasombra and the still hostage Arnold come upon the clichéd rickety rope bridge. Lasombra steps onto a board, which breaks.)

Lasombra and Arnold

(scream)

Lasombra

Come on.

(Lasombra grabs Arnold by his backpack strap, and a rope begins to pull apart.)

Helga

Arnold!

Gerald

Stop!

Arnold

Guys, wait. Don't!

Helga

Oh, criminy! So, of course, I've got to go out on the stupid rope bridge to save the stupid Football Head.

Gerald

Oh, man. Can't believe I'm doing this.

(Lasombra and Arnold reach the other side as Lasombra pushes Arnold to the ground. Lasombra is about to cut the bridge when Arnold stops him.)

Arnold

(gasps) No! (to Helga and Gerald) Go back!

Helga and Gerald

(yell)

(The rope snaps, and Helga and Gerald hang on. The other ropes snap and the bridge falls forward as the two scream.)

Arnold

Helga! Gerald! Hang on!

Lasombra

(laughs) Come here, volcano boy.

Arnold

Let me go! Ugh!

Lasombra

Ha! Let you go? You are the only one who can open it!

Arnold

No! We need to save my friends!

Lasombra

(brandishing his machete at Arnold) First, open the Corazón! Then you can play with your little amigos.

Helga

Take your time, Arnoldo! We just love hanging out here!

(Arnold looks through the amulet, which shows him what to do. Arnold pushes the top, and the head spins revealing a different face.)

Lasombra

Oh...

(Arnold looks through the amulet again and pushes the corresponding buttons on the idol. After the head shows another different face, the idol opens its doors revealing the sacred Corazón.)

Arnold

(gasps) It's the heart of gold!

Lasombra

(shoves Arnold) Out of my way!

Arnold

Oh!

Lasombra

So beautiful. And it's all mine.

(The idol changes to the angry face and blows a poisonous dart at Lasombra.)

Lasombra

(grunts and falls over the cliff, screaming)

Gerald

I wanna un-see that.

Arnold

Take my hand! Ugh!

Gerald

Pull! (Helga latches onto Gerald.)

Arnold

I'm trying!

Helga

Try harder!

Arnold

Whoa!

(He falls off the side of the cliff and hangs onto the rope bridge, the bottom of which falls off.)

Arnold, Gerald, and Helga

(scream)

(Arnold and Helga look deep into each other's eyes, knowing full well this may be their end. Suddenly, a rope comes down, breaking them out of their moment.)

Eduardo (the real one)

Come on up, mijos!

Arnold

Who's that?

Gerald

Who cares?

(They climb up the rope to the silhouetted caballero.)

Gerald

Hey, aren't you...?

Arnold

Eduardo! It's really you?

Eduardo

Hello, my—

Helga

Wait. Not another "Eduardo"! "Your parents' trusted friend, (grabs Eduardo by the mustache) with a mustache?" Ha! I've heard that before! Why should we trust him?

Eduardo

You are welcome to climb back down. (Helga releases him.)

Arnold

How'd you find us?

(During this, Helga approaches the idol and stares at the Corazón.)

Eduardo

I have been following you since your class came to San Lorenzo. I suspected that Lasombra would use you to get to the Green-Eyed People somehow. They broke into my place and kidnapped me. I escaped, but got to the dock too late. I had to chase you in another boat.

Gerald

Oh! On the river! We thought we were being attacked by pirates.

Eduardo

No, it was me. I lost you at the rapids, but I was able to pick up your trail where you crashed.

(The rope behind them pulls back.)

Arnold

I'm so glad you're here! We found the Green-Eyed People's hidden city! It's where my parents disappeared.

Eduardo

So, then, you have seen them? Miles and Stella are—are alive?

Arnold

I... I don't know!

(Lasombra climbs back over the cliff, his skin is now zombie green from the poisonous dart)

Lasombra

So, you finally caught up to us, Eduardo! You call that a mustache?!

Eduardo

Did you think you could get away with this, Lasombra? Miles and Stella protected the Green-Eyed People from you, and now their son will, too. (Arnold smiles sheepishly at this.)

Lasombra

Always so presumptuous. (takes dart out of his forehead) They're not safe yet! (yells)

(Eduardo and Lasombra fight as Lasombra attempts to stick the dart in Eduardo. Helga covers Lasombra's face with his bag, and Gerald and Arnold hold him down, but Lasombra kicks them away, and unintentionally causes the Corazón to fall off the stone.)

Lasombra

Oh! Give it to me! It's mine!

(The Corazón falls down into the mist, lost forever. Lasombra grabs Arnold.)

Lasombra

You pest! Just like your parents! I'm going to throw you over the cliff! Go get it! (wheezes)

(The poison takes its final toll on Lasombra, but not before he tears the amulet off of Arnold's neck and then plummets to his death into the ravine below.)

Eduardo

(sighs) He died the way he lived: full of poison.

Arnold

The Corazón! It was sacred to them! Now it's... gone.

Helga

Hey, Football Head. We're alive, okay? Now, let's go back to that hidden city and find out what happened to your parents.

Gerald

One question: How are we gonna get back over there?

Eduardo

Um, I prefer the stone bridge myself.

(Pan left to reveal a stone bridge.)

Gerald

Well, all right, then.

The hidden city

Girl Queen

(gasps) Arnold, kamika shua mifash! Rishwah katida?

Eduardo

Pushmura, melisimio akura kasamada?

Girl Queen

(to her servants) Conash, miwati! (to Eduardo) Dewi nomesh, ononio chinomala. Do kui-ui.

Eduardo

Arnold, your parents are here. She will take us to where they lie.

(The Green-Eyes show Arnold a fortress revealing his parents lying together in a stone bed)

Arnold

(gasps) Dad? Mom? It's me.

Helga

Arnold...

Arnold

Are they...

Eduardo

No, no. It's the sleeping sickness, from over nine years ago.

Arnold

But they had a cure.

Gerald

Yeah, and it had something to do with that big stone wheel thingy in the temple.

Helga

Ol' Whatsername's gotta know about it.

Girl Queen

Nası kotu do kui-ui.

Eduardo

(to Arnold) They believe that you are the one to open the Corazón, and with the heart of gold inside, you would awaken the sleeping parents and reunite them with their children.

Arnold

The Corazón... was the cure?

Gerald

But... it went over the cliff.

Arnold

We have to tell her what happened.

Eduardo

Posamari marisamore Lasombra.

Girl Queen

(crying)

(Arnold and the Green-Eye children start sobbing, while Helga and Gerald look distraught.)

Mi coreda.

Gerald

But, they're alive! There's gotta be a way to wake up your parents!

(Helga suddenly gets an idea and runs off.)

The temple

(Helga approaches the stone wheel. Arnold comes behind her.)

Arnold

Helga, what are you doing?

Helga

This must be it! You were supposed to put the heart of gold here, and then, well, something would happen. I'm not a scientist.

Eduardo

I know what this is. These are the controls to a machine Miles told me about. The Green-Eyed People would put herbal formulas in the center altar, and the machine would spread them aromatically.

Arnold

My dad and mom knew about this! It's in the mural! So, instead of herbs... (gasps) Look! They put the cure right here, so it could cure the whole city at once!

Eduardo

Ah, genius!

Arnold

But, without the heart of gold, the Green-Eyes... my parents... they can't be cured.

Helga

I... might have something that would work. (reveals her locket) It's, uh, a heart. (Arnold looks in shock.) I think it could fit. This is just gold-plated. It's not a very pure heart.

Arnold

I don't know. I think your heart... is more pure than you know.

Helga

(swooningly) Oh!

(Helga gives Arnold the locket and he attempts to place it in the center of the wheel, with a little bit of difficulty. Helga grows annoyed.)

Helga

You are such a football head.

(Helga turns the locket and it locks in place, causing the city to rumble.)

Girl Queen

Rishwa katida!

Green-Eyed children

(cheer)

(The machine continues to work and open all the roofs of the sleeping parents.)

Girl Queen

Hashwa ropasa watash!

(An eruption geyser occurs in the center temple.)

Girl Queen

Arnold, humish ginoma sapura! Batiqua nee-fwash. Wata kui-ui!

(The butterflies begin to awaken.)

Girl Queen

Bodash, leewa tidi, nee-fwash!

Green-Eyes

(cheer)

Helga

Okay, what's going on?

Arnold

There's butterflies. Wait, could that mean...?

(The Green-Eyed adults all begin to wake up and reunite with their children, as Arnold runs.)

Green-Eyed Children

Papa! Mama!

(Arnold comes upon the room where his parents are, and they begin to awaken as well.)

Miles and Stella

Hey... Arnold.

(Arnold approaches his parents and hugs them, as butterflies fly into the sky, which clears.)

Later that evening

(The Girl Queen's mother retrieves the crown that is rightfully hers, and she is happily reunited with the Green-Eyed People's rulers.)

Green-Eyed People

Arnold... Arnold... Arnold... Arnold... Arnold... Arnold...

Stella

Looks like you finished the work we started, Arnold.

Miles

I'm so proud of you, son.

Gerald

Mm-mm-mm. Now I've seen everything!

Miles, Stella, Eduardo, and Arnold

(laugh)

Arnold

Good one, Gerald. Helga?

(Helga walks over to the temple and attempts to unlatch the locket from the wheel.)

Arnold

Hey, Helga.

Helga

Ah! Hey, Arnold.

(The arrow Helga was using drops and she kicks it away.)

Arnold

Helga, I've known you my whole life, practically, and you've always been angry and... and kinda... y'know, mean.

Helga

Yeah! ...So?

Arnold

But... I've also seen you be really loyal and super brave. So I always wondered if maybe you were mean to me because... well, you loved me.

Helga

Love? (shakes her head) You? Well, yeah, sure, I mean, like I love a root canal! Haha!

Arnold

Listen, I know you tried to tell me before, and I wasn't ready to hear it. But now, this whole thing: the trip to San Lorenzo, getting away from Lasombra, finding my parents... it's all 'cause of you. Your locket...

Helga

Locket? What locket?

(The locket falls out of the wheel.)

Arnold

Your locket, it woke up my parents! You did it all, just to help me. And... and...

(Arnold holds Helga's hands and kisses her. Helga's foot lifts up into the air. Gerald comes by.)

Gerald

Mm-mm-mmm!

(Arnold and Helga pull away from each other as Helga whistles innocently. They blink.)

Gerald

Okay, now I've seen everything!

(Miles and Stella sigh and look lovingly at each other.)

Sunset Arms, later that fall

(Arnold wakes up in his bed unsure of his surroundings.)

Arnold

(gasps)

(Arnold gets up and walks downstairs.)

Mom? Dad?

Ernie

Hey, Gramps, what's for breakfast?! I'm starvin' over here, starvin'!

Oskar

Make me a sandwich, old man!

Mr. Hyunh

Crispy fries and a tofu burger for me, please, and step on it!

(Arnold gets teary-eyed, beginning to suspect his whole adventure was only a dream, until...)

Miles

Breakfast is served! Eggs in a basket!

Grandma

Don't you mean toad-in-a-hole?

Stella

We call it eggs in a basket.

Ernie

Finally, someone with some sense around here!

Grandpa

No disrespect, but you've both been asleep for ten years. What do you know about breakfast?

Arnold

(dances happily) Mom! Dad! You're really back!

Miles and Stella

Hey, Arnold!

Miles

Were you having that same dream again where you never found us?

Arnold

Yeah, the same dream I've been having all summer.

Stella

It's no dream, Arnold. You really came and rescued us, and now we're really back home with you. What do you say we go on an adventure today? I read that the city botanical gardens has a new rainforest exhibit.

Arnold

Sounds great, but... it's actually the first day of school.

Stella

Oh, of course! We knew that.

Miles

Sure. We're hip.

Abner

(squeals)

Arnold

C'mon, Abner! (gives Abner a piece of bacon)

Mr. Hyunh

Creepy...

Grandma

Who is that cute little blonde boy?

Outside Sunset Arms

Arnold

Bye, everyone!

(Everyone bids Arnold goodbye as Abner and all the animals run out of the boarding house, followed by some San Lorenzan wildlife: a monkey from Mr. Simmons' "class", a butterfly from the hidden city, Stinky's parrot, and the snake that followed Abner back to Hillwood.)

Gerald

Well, Arnold, you ready for the worst day of school?

Arnold

You mean the first day of school?

Gerald

That's what I said.

Arnold

Come on, Gerald, look at the bright side. We're in sixth grade now. How bad could it be?

(They give their thumbs-up handshake.)

The street

(Arnold, Gerald, Helga and Phoebe come to the same corner they bumped into each other almost three months ago, this time, without error. Gerald and Phoebe walk hand in hand together. Arnold grabs Helga's hand.)

Helga

Oh! (pulls away) Hey, who said you could touch me?

Miles and Stella

Hey Arnold!

Stella

Can we walk with you to school?

Miles

Yeah, we already miss you!

Arnold

(laughs) Sure, Mom and Dad!

P.S. 118

Student

Hey, Arnold!

Stinky

Hey, y'all see my parrot?

(The students walk into the school chattering.)

Mr. Simmons

Welcome back!

Gerald

Hey, Arnold.

Mr. Simmons

I still have a job!

Arnold

You'll have to stay outside, okay?

Stella

Okay.

Miles

When will you be done?

(The school bell rings.)

Arnold

Uh, 3:30.

Stella

We'll be waiting right here.

(Arnold smiles and walks into the school. The doors close on Miles and Stella. Roll credits.)