Hey Arnold Wiki
Advertisement
Episode
Trivia
Goofs
Quotes
Transcript
Gallery
Credits

P.S. 118[]

(The school bell rings)

Mr. Simmons' classroom[]

Mr. Simmons

Students, this week in our continuing health and nutrition unit, we are going to be about the importance of a balanced diet and the effects that different foods have on both our physical and mental well-being.

(Gerald switches the light off as a slide projector turns itself on)

Helga

(talks to herself while daydreaming about Arnold) Arnold, my little bookworm. How keen you are... how studious. How diligently you take notes in your little schoolboy notebook. If only I could find the nerve to tell you how much I worship that giant oblong brain of yours. Oh, but alack, I can never tell.

Street and Sunset Arms Boarding House[]

(Helga is walking and seems to notice a silhouette in Arnold's window, so she hides next to a wall near the alley)

Helga

(looking at the silhouette that appears to be Arnold's head) Oh, Arnold, my daydreaming dream weaver. How contemplative you are. How curious, how romantically you gaze out your bedroom window reflecting and musing. If only I could find the strength to march up to your door and tell you how much I admire your freewheeling lack of focus. If only... (turns to look at a broken and old flamenco near a box) If only.

(The scene changes to a fantasy where Helga is by the stoop of the boarding house while wearing a black fedora and playing the before-old flamenco. Arnold was by the opened door noticing Helga with roses around the stoop and with a rose in her mouth)

Fantasy Arnold

Helga?

Fantasy Helga

(finishes playing and stands up) That's right, Arnold. It's me, Helga G. Pataki. The girl who's always staring at you from across the crowded room. The girl who's constantly lurking in the shadows spying on you. (paces around him) The girl who's forever stalking you and following you home, standing here on your stoop, (picks up a rose) ready to confess unto you my most hallowed of secrets. (the camera zooms in the rose's hole with Arnold's head) Oh, Arnold, don't you see? (the scene changes to Arnold in a regular window) Despite the fact that I may act like a total loon, in reality, I'm just a shy girl afraid to tell you that I absolutely adore you. Yes, Arnold, you heard me correctly. I-I'm positively mad for you! I'm mad as a hatter, totally nutty, gaga in love! I have been since the very first time I laid eyes on that wonderfully plump little football head of yours. Only until now I've been too shy to tell you the truth too bashful to say that I love you, Arnold. Love you. (those last two words echo)

(Suddenly, the fantasy was over and interrupted by that same breathing noise, so Helga turns her head to know who it is, and it is the same boy with the same nasal breathing; Brainy)

Brainy

(breathing deeply) Hi.

(All of a sudden, the sound of a crash and guitar strings break happened in the alley. Helga walks away and it turns out she smashed the flamenco on Brainy with his head in it)

Patakis' residence[]

Helga

(Heard inside) Sheesh, Mom, what did you do?

Patakis' kitchen[]

Helga

Forget to go shopping again? (no response) Hey! Earth to Miriam.

Miriam

(Wakes up) Huh?

Helga

There's no food around here.

Miriam

(Remembers) Oh, yeah, oh, I know, honey. It's an awful story, really. You see, I went to the store this afternoon and I did a little shopping, only I accidentally left the groceries on the roof of the car and when I pulled away, everything just sort have spilled all over the road. And-and I just---

Helga

(gets the point) Fascinating, Miriam. Now what I supposed to eat?

Miriam

(scratches her head) Oh, gosh, yeah... Uh, well, let's see... Um, (opens the cabinet) oh, I think here's some of your dad's pork rinds in the cabinet.

Helga

(unimpressed) Pork rinds? Get real, Miriam.

Sunset Arms Boarding House[]

(The next morning, Mr. Hyunh and Ernie are in their bathrobes waiting in line for the bathroom)

Ernie

(impatient) Hey, how's about you speed it up in there?

Mr. Hyunh

(also impatient) Yes! Save some for the fishes!

Ernie "(turns to him) Must be that jerk from number eight.

(It is revealed that Helga is inside the bathroom taking a shower. She slightly opens the curtain, gasps as she looks down at her body and screams as she realizes she's naked in the shower. She quickly grabs a gray robe, wears it and runs out of the bathroom with steam coming out)

Ernie

(watches her run) Hey! (puts his fists to his hips) Oh, sure. Now you're in a hurry.

(When Arnold walks upstairs, Helga, who is hiding her face, with the robe hood, pushes him aside as she rushes downstairs)

Helga

(in deep voice) Excuse me. (Arnold blinks in confusion and Helga is out the door) That is the last straw. (removes the hood) This whole thing has gotten completely out of control. (pants) I mean, waking up in Arnold's shower? Talk about crazy. I'd better get professional help.
Advertisement