Scene One: The Coat[]
(Exterior: Skyline of Hillwood as the titles appear. Pan down to Lloyd mansion as the titles conclude. We then cut to Rhonda Lloyd brushing her hair in front of her vanity in her bedroom. Buckley is bringing in a box with a ribbon on it. Rhonda sets down her brush and pays attention to her father.)
Buckley Lloyd
Well, as you know, tomorrow is your mother's birthday. And I wanted to show you the fun-tastic gift I bought her.
(He opens the box to reveal a lavish fur coat. Rhonda is immediately delighted.) Rhonda
Ohoho!
Buckley Lloyd (taking the coat out)
It's a genuine Moscow mink. Yes, I can't wait to see mother's face light up tomorrow when we give it to her at her birthday party.
Rhonda (burying her face in the sleeve delightedly, then gently letting go)
Oh, Daddy, it's exquisite. Just so so lovely.
(He closes the box and hides it away in the closet.) Buckley Lloyd
Don't peep a word to her about this rare pelt.
(Rhonda nods. Buckley shuts the door to the closet and gets off of the floor.)
Well, it's school time for you, Rhonda dear. Now give Daddy a kiss, as I, too, must dash.
(He points to his cheek. Rhonda gives him a kiss there) Both
Mwah!
(Buckley leaves the room and Rhonda waves to him. As soon as Buckley is out of the room, Rhonda looks at the box again.) Rhonda
Imagine me wearing that magnificent coat. Do I dare?
(She tries on the coat for herself, looking at her reflection in the full length mirror.)
Oh! It's drop-dead gorgeous!
(She poses a couple times.)
Perhaps I could wear it to tonight's art show at school. Daddy will never know. I'll sneak the mink into school in a bag, and sneak it back home and into the closet. What could go wrong?
(She poses in it.)
(Fade to later that night, at PS 118's temporary art show. Students are all dressed up nicely with punch and snacks admiring the different art pieces. Mild chatter hums around the room. At one art piece that looks like a flan with a purplish topping, Stinky, Harold, Gerald, and Arnold gather.)
Stinky
It looks like a scrambled egg on a turtle's back.
(Rhonda pointedly clears her throat. The boys turn their heads. It's Rhonda in her mother's mink coat, posing for them. Cut to Helga with Phoebe and Sheena.) Helga
New duds, Rhonda?
Rhonda (Taking a crudités from Brainy.)
Oh, you mean this genuine mink? It's been in the family for years.
Phoebe (Aghast as Helga feels the fur on the sleeve.)
Rhonda are you at all aware that your wearing of that genuine fur flies right in the face of the predominant, and I think sensible belief, that it is cruel to massacre poor innocent minks, ermines, and other weasels just for material satisfaction?!
(The other girls seem to agree with Phoebe's question. Rhonda rolls her eyes and walks away.) Helga
Yeah. What did the weasel ever do to you?
(Rhonda goes to get a cup for punch.) Curly (rubs Rhonda's coat sleeve)
Ooh, you pretty princess. Your mink is so soft, so inviting.
Rhonda (recoiling from him disgustedly)
Ugh! Get away from me, you creep!
Curly
Tonight's our night, Rhonda. I can feel it in the air.
Rhonda
Listen, you slimy piece of ick, I don't like you.
(Curly sneaks a spritz of breath-spray into his mouth.)
So stop touching my coat with your grimy hands.
Curly (following Rhonda who is now pretending to be interested in an art piece)
I just want to be closer to you, Rhonda. I want to be your boyfriend.
Rhonda (disgustedly)
Boyfriend? I will never EVER have anything to do with you, Curly. EVER!
(Curly snaps fingers into a finger-gun and a grin at her. Fade to later, some students start to pack up the show. Rhonda has a caramel apple and is talking with Helga and Phoebe again.)
The artwork was okaay... though I'd have to say my coat was the piece de resistance.
(She takes a sizable bite of the apple. Suddenly, while moving a painting, someone bumps into Rhonda and she gets her caramel apple stuck on the new coat. She strangles a dramatic gasp.)
Oh, no, no, NO!
(The kid quickly runs away in fear. Rhonda rips the apple off of the coat and throws it over her shoulder. A large red spot is now on the coat and Rhonda tries desperately to get the mark off.)
I can't believe this! My mother's mink!
Phoebe (sympathetically)
It'll be okay, Rhonda.
Rhonda (inconsolable)
It isn't going to be okay! My dad's going to kill me. This is my mother's birthday present! Ugh...
(She goes out to a drinking fountain outside the classroom and runs water on the stain to try and get the red out. She holds up the coat. No luck.) Curly (appearing behind the coat)
I can help you, Rhonda.
Rhonda (snaps)
Curly, not now! I'm in crisis!
Curly
You don't understand, Rhonda. I'm going to save your life. My parents own the big dry cleaner's on Lexington.
Rhonda (suddenly interested)
A dry cleaner's?
Curly
That's right. I can get your mink coat looking new and fresh.
(He gently takes the coat from Rhonda, pets the fur and gives it a sniff.) Rhonda
But I need it by tomorrow morning.
Curly (twirling the key to the business)
Then Curly's your only hope.
Rhonda
You mean you can definitely clean this tonight?
Curly
Yes, I can. And the price you'll have to pay won't be that bad.
Rhonda
I can get you cash in the morning.
Curly
I don't want your money. Here's the deal: Curly cleans the fur, and you, Rhonda. All you have to do is pretend to be Curly's girlfriend for a week.
Rhonda (disgusted)
Gross! No way absolutely not.
Curly
You want a clean fur, don't you? It's either Curly, or facing your parents with a red stained coat.
Rhonda (bitterly)
What do I have to do?
Curly
After you get the clean mink to your parents, you put on a good show at school that you're my girl 'til three o'clock on Friday.
Rhonda
Nine o'clock.
Curly
Two o'clock.
Rhonda
Ten o'clock.
Curly
Twelve noon.
Rhonda
Deal.
(The two shake hands.)
Twelve noon, I get to dump you.
Curly
Sure, Friday at noon. That is if you haven't fallen completely in love with me by then.
(Rhonda scoffs.) Rhonda
As if...
(She pushes him to the ground. Curly gets up, throws the mink back at her, then gets out a camera.) Curly
I'll take a couple of pictures so you don't back out the deal.
(He takes a couple pictures of her with the coat.)
Well, let's clean this coat of yours, girlfriend.
(Fade to, the two at dry cleaners that Curly's parents own on Lexington, the light switching on. Donning a surgeon's outfit, complete with long rubber gloves, Curly goes into the back room to get to work on the coat. Rhonda watches on in a giant window reminiscent of an operation window. Gently setting the coat down, he gets out a spray bottle of cleaning liquid and a scrub brush. Spritzing the area with the cleaner and scrubbing the stain out of the fur, he comically wipes sweat off of his brow. He puts it into an ironing machine, then after while, a cloud of steam emerges from the machine. Rhonda leans forward in anticipation. With a flourish the coat is revealed to be clean. Rhonda is delighted.)
(Fade to the exterior of Rhonda's house. Curly is walking Rhonda home, the mink in a briefcase.)
Curly
So, let's review. When I say: "Rhonda, my love?". You say: "Yes, cutie pie?". And when I do this--
(He puts his hand on his head but Rhonda interrupts him.) Rhonda (flatly)
I know. I say "You and me, baby. You and me forever.".
Curly (as Rhonda holds a hand on her face, embarrassed)
Good good. And throw in a lot of "you sweet thing." and "How can I deny our love?" and "Curly I'm so lucky to be your girl."!
Rhonda (distraught)
Ugh. My life is over!
Curly (as Rhonda walks up her stoop)
Come on, sweetie. You'll see by the end of the week that I'll grow on you, and you'll want to be my girlfriend.
Scene Two: Curly's Girl[]
(The bus pulls in the next day. Rhonda and Nadine board it. Curly is already onboard, waving Rhonda over, speaking dramatically.)
Curly
Over here, sweet Rhonda! I saved a seat for you!
(She uneasily walks towards the seat, the whole bus looking at her. She sits down next to him with his arm around her.)
I've missed you so, my love. Tell me you are my girlfriend.
Rhonda (In a rushed whisper)
I'm your girlfriend.
Curly (loudly and dramatically)
Sing it out, honey, so all can hear!
Rhonda (through a gritted-tooth smile)
I'm your girlfriend.
Curly (grandly gesturing to her)
That's right, folks! Rhonda's my girlfriend!
Arnold (in disbelief)
Curly, and Rhonda?
Stinky
Whillikers!
Helga
You can say that again.
Stinky
Whillikers!
(Cut to a crowded hallway in PS 118, children chattering amongst themselves. Curly slips Rhonda's hand into his back shorts pocket.) Stinky (distantly)
Maybe we should do this someplace else...
Curly (whispering to her)
Smile and say few of your lines.
Rhonda (flatly)
Oh, Curly, I'm so lucky I'm your girl.
(Curly pulls out Rhonda's seat for her. As she sits, he sits down in his own seat beside her.) Helga
So what's the deal, princess? You actually like this guy?
(Curly looks over at Rhonda, puckering his lips.) Rhonda (unconvincingly, a little louder with a fake smile)
Yes, with all my heart. It's me and Curly forever!
Stinky
Whillikers.
(Fade to later, in one of the school's halls, Curly is digging through his locker as Rhonda stands by waiting for him.) Curly
I have a special present for you that I want you to wear.
(He gives her a cream-colored shirt. She gives the front a absentminded glance/onceover, then gives it back to him, holding her hand up in contempt.) Rhonda
There is no way I'm wearing that shirt.
(Curly reaches into the neck of his shirt to reveal the pictures of the coat. Cut to, her wearing the shirt. It's revealed to have a pink heart with an arrow through it. In blue block print, inside the heart reads: Curly's Girl. It's slightly too big for Rhonda.)
I can't believe I'm wearing this shirt.
(Curly gleefully parades Rhonda around the playground of PS 118 by the pinkies, passing by Helga, Phoebe, Gerald, Arnold, and Stinky.) Stinky
I guess it's official now.
Arnold
I've never seen Curly happier.
(Cut to Curly and Rhonda at the swings. Curly has sat down and Rhonda has already started pushing. Sheena and Nadine are not too far from them.)
(Fade to, the classroom. Curly walks to Rhonda's desk with his hands behind his back with a grin.)
Curly
Look, dear. Another present from me, your boyfriend.
(Curly sets a pink heart-shaped picture frame with a picture of himself inside on Rhonda's desk.)
It's worth a thousand "I love you"s, don't you think?
(The school bell rings at PS 118 as a title "Friday" lingers on the screen for a bit. Cut to the cafeteria where Arnold, Gerald, Stinky, and Curly are eating at the same table together. Helga eats a sandwich at another table in the foreground.) Stinky
So Curly, how's Ms. Rhonda?
Curly
She's marvelous, stupendous, the tops! It's been the happiest week of my life.
Arnold
That's great, Curly.
(Rhonda walks through the entrance of the cafeteria. She see's the back of Curly's head and a knowing smile creeps on her face. She walks towards him and taps him on the shoulder. He turns.) Curly
Hello, my love.
(She gives him a coy, finger-wiggly wave. Curly gets out of his seat and offers it to her. She pushes it in, the smile still on her face.)
I've saved you half of my sandwich. Wanna sit down? I'll feed it to you.
(Rhonda puts a hand on Curly's back and walks to the clock in the corner of the cafeteria, the cream shirt in a hand behind her back. She keeps glancing at it with Curly.) Rhonda (Looking up at the clock, her smile turning malicious.)
Oh, I don't think that'll be necessary, lover-boy... because today is Friday. And in approximately 30 seconds, our deal's over. And I don't have to pretend to be your girlfriend anymore.
(She looks up at the clock again expectantly.) Curly (teasingly)
Oh come on, Rhonda. You know you've grown to adore me.
(Rhonda isn't listening. All of her attention is at the clock as it clicks on 12 o'clock. She gives him a look of determination. She can finally dump him.) Rhonda (Somewhat loudly, mostly so the cafeteria can hear.)
Curly, you're a low-down despicable creep. It's over between us. I never wanna speak to you again. Now crawl back under the rock you came out of, you slug.
(She mic-drops the shirt into Curly's hands and confidently strides out of the cafeteria. Curly blankly looks at the shirt. He takes the picture that Rhonda had with it and brings it to the forefront so he can see it.) Arnold (at Curly's side to comfort him)
You okay, Curly?
(A singular sad tear falls from Curly's eye.)
Scene Three: Poor Curly/Heartless Rhonda[]
(Fade to the bus driving down the road. Cut to inside with Curly at the back of the bus, "Curly's Girl" shirt in hands. He gives it a smell, but sighs wistfully, looking back down at it. Watching from afar, Arnold and Stinky look pitifully at Curly from a few seats away.)
Stinky
Gosh, Curly sure is forlorn.
Arnold
He's been staring at that T-shirt for hours.
Stinky
I reckon I feel mighty sorry for the guy, Arnold. On account of how he's been used and abused by Rhonda.
(Rhonda stands in front of Stinky to ask to sit next to him, a book in her arm.) Rhonda
Is this seat taken?
Stinky (spreading out so she can't sit down, crossing his legs on the seat)
I'm afraid you're gonna have to find some other seat. I don't sit with no heart-breaking harpies.
Rhonda (dismissively)
Oh please, now we're supposed to feel sorry for Curly?
(Cut back to Curly before fading on a painting/tattoo Curly is painting on his left bicep in the classroom. In purple are the words "4-EVER", in blue is "Rhonda" in cursive. He paints a magenta heart around the words, then dips his brush in a jar on his desk. Zoom out to see that Helga and Phoebe are looking on in sympathy. The two and rest of the class are painting on paper plates.) Helga (softly)
Criminy, what a pathetic display.
Phoebe
I'm afraid I have to agree, Helga.
Helga (gesturing a thumb to Rhonda walking towards them)
Guess Ms. Rich and Fancy over there really did a number on him.
Rhonda
May I borrow the black paint?
Helga (painting a black, drippy love-heart on her plate)
Perfect, it'll match the color of your heart.
Rhonda
Excuse me?
Helga (re-busying herself with the plate painting)
You heard me, Cruella.
Rhonda (almost in sing-song)
Unbelievable!
(Fade to the cafeteria. Curly is sitting with some boys from class, a blank expression on his face. Cutting to a concerned Arnold and Stinky.) Arnold
Curly, do you wanna eat anything? You're just sitting there.
Stinky
Curly is a broken man. The only that's gonna heal the poor fella's wounds is time.
(Cut to Rhonda that pans to Sheena and Nadine walking by her table.) Arnold
I guess you're right.
Rhonda
You ladies wanna join me?
Sheena (after her an Nadine share a glance)
As a matter of fact, we don't.
(The two walk to Curly's table, noses in the air.) Rhonda (fed up)
That's it. I've had it.
(Fade to later in the afternoon. Curly is walking back home on a sidewalk.) Rhonda
All right, Sulky, I want you to listen up 'cause I'm only gonna say this once.
(Curly turns and looks to see Rhonda emerge from the shadow of the roof of her front stoop. He looks blankly yet attentively at her.) Rhonda (determinedly)
Ever since our imaginary relationship and pretend breakup, it appears that everyone has, for whatever insane reason, decided to feel sorry for you and shun me. And let me tell you, pal, I simply cannot have that. After all, I'm the most popular girl in the class. It's MY job to cast people out and tear them down, NOT the other way around. And so, starting tomorrow, you're gonna stop your pathetic moping, and help me win back some sympathy.
Curly
I am?
Rhonda
Yes. By being my boyfriend again.
Curly (joyfully, holding his arms out for a hug)
You mean you want me back?
Rhonda (holding a hand out on his face to stop him)
Just until everyone rejoins team Rhonda.
Curly (adoringly as soon as Rhonda's hand is off his face, he gives her a gleeful hug)
Oh, sweet pea, I won't let you down!
(He slides down the hug, falling to her feet and clinging onto her leg.) Rhonda
Good, now get off my leg.
Scene Four: Rhonda's Hunk[]
(Fade to PS 118, Gerald, Iggy, Sid, Arnold, Stinky, and Phoebe are all on the stairs to the school reading. They turn to look at Rhonda and Curly in confusion. Curly is carrying two books.)
Rhonda (a lot more convincingly, holding Curly's hand with both hands mock-adoringly)
Oh Curly. I'm just so lucky to be your girl once again!
(Nadine, Eugene and Park also look on in confusion. The two put an arm around each other, Rhonda's hand in Curly's back shorts pocket. The two walk up the stairs with prideful smiles.) Arnold
Curly and Rhonda? Back together?
Stinky
Whillikers. What a roller coaster ride of a romance. And here I thought Rhonda was just one of them unfeeling love-'em and leave-'em types. But go figure. The girl's got a heart after all.
(As the two pass the threshold of the school entrance, out of sight of her peers, Rhonda recoils from Curly.) Rhonda
Ugh!
(She dusts off her hand.)
(Cut to the classroom later. The entire class is working on schoolwork. After a small glance, Rhonda strides out of her seat with a picture frame in her hands to Curly's desk.)
Rhonda (faux adoringly)
Look dear, I've had a photo of myself framed for you, my boyfriend.
(She shows him the picture, setting it on his desk. It is a picture of herself in her art show dress, a cursive "With Love, Rhonda" adorning the glass.)
It is worth a thousand "I love you"s, don't you think?
(He smiles appreciatively. Helga and Phoebe are in the foreground.) Helga (smiling)
Well, what do you know? The evil princess had a change of heart.
Phoebe (surprised)
Perhaps she isn't so ruthless after all.
(Small zoom on Rhonda and Curly.)
(Quick fade to a hallway in PS 118. Sheena, Nadine, Curly, Arnold, Sid and Gerald are seen getting things out of their lockers.)
Rhonda (pointedly)
Here, precious. I have something I would like you to wear.
(All heads turn to Rhonda as she gives Curly a blue shirt.) Curly
Oh mama, it's heavenly!
(He lifts the shirt so the front is shown. Written on the shirt in all yellow caps is "RHONDA'S HUNK". Curly is delighted.) Rhonda (dramatically adoring)
What are you waiting for, little love bug? Put it on for all to see.
(The smile not leaving his face, Curly does so. Although the shirt is a little big, he is still very pleased.) Stinky (off-screen)
Now that's what I call true love.
Curly (whisking Rhonda into a hug)
I'll treasure it always, my pet.
(He whirls her around into a dip and gives her a loud kiss, the whole hallway gasping in shock.) Rhonda (shoving Curly away)
Blech!
(She immediately corrects herself. Standing up off of the floor.)
I mean... Excuse me, I have to run to the ladies room.
(She bolts past Curly. Cut to exterior of the ladies' bathroom.) Rhonda (off-screen and dramatically)
Oh! Why? Why? Why does it have to be me?
(Cut to inside the restroom, Rhonda is hunched over a running sink trying desperately to wash the kiss out of her mouth.)
Why couldn't someone else have borrowed their mother's mink jacket and be in this disgusting situation?
(She turns off the faucet and starts talking to herself in the mirror.)
I mean, could he be any grosser?
(Cut to the exterior. Curly is walking to the ladies room as if to check on Rhonda but stops to listen in, leaning closer to the door.)
But then again, if I don't go through with this, everyone will hate me because I broke the little freak's heart.
(Cut back to the interior. Rhonda takes a paper towel from the dispenser next to the sinks to wipe her face and lips with it.)
Time to buck up, Rhonda! After all, aside from that one, highly nauseating kiss, this really isn't going so badly. Perhaps, by the end of the day, you might even be back on top.
(Cut to the exterior, zooming in on Curly.)
All you gotta do is stick to the plan, then find a way to dump the little troll.
(Curly's face falls hearing the last of her pep talk.)
Scene Five: Curly And Rhonda Are No Longer [Fake] Dating[]
(Fade to a wide shot of the cafeteria, Curly walking to the table Rhonda was sitting at. His hands are on his hips in contempt and Rhonda is still putting on her act.)
Rhonda (faux nicely)
Why, hello, my little buttercup! I saved you a seat.
(She gestures to the empty spot with a smile.) Curly (irritably and dramatically)
Forget it, babe. It's over. I did some thinking, see, and it turns out you're a lousy girlfriend.
(Kids, like Stinky, Arnold and Phoebe, turn to look at the scene Curly is making.) Rhonda (confused, glancing around)
Pardon?
(Harold, Helga and Brainy are now invested in the breakup as Curly gets more erratic and mad.) Curly (gradually having more dramatic gestures)
You heard me, girlie. And that's why I've decided to dump you. That's right, princess. Curly's giving you the old heave-ho. The boot. The kick to the proverbial curb. From this moment on, you and me are history!
(The cafeteria is abuzz with chatter, Curly taking off the shirt that had "RHONDA'S HUNK" on it and tosses it over his shoulder in one fell swoop as he exits the room in a huff.)
(Cut to Rhonda and her peers at her table as she takes the shirt Curly threw on her head off and looks wide-eyed at where he had stormed off. Her classmates are in shock.)
Stinky
Whillikers. That fella sure got a heart of stone.
Arnold
Poor Rhonda.
Phoebe
Can't imagine what she could've done to deserve that.
(Fade to later in the afternoon, Rhonda's stoop. Curly is already there and is sitting on the stairs away from Rhonda approaching from off-screen. When we cut to a close up, Curly has his glasses off and is silently crying. Rhonda is unaware of this and leans coolly against the stair railing with a half-lidded smile. As she approaches, he quickly wipes his tears.) Rhonda
I can't believe you did that for me.
Curly (putting his glasses back on to face her as if he hadn't been crying)
I don't know what you're talking about.
Rhonda
Oh, get serious, Curly. I know what you did in the cafeteria wasn't real. I mean, there's no way you'd ever dump me. You're crazy about me.
Curly (conceding)
That's true.
Rhonda (her smile returning)
So what's the deal?
Curly (gets off the stoop to face her properly)
I don't know, I just figured you were suffering. You know, a saucy specimen like you pretending to like a guy like me. So I let you off the hook.
(Rhonda is subtly flattered by Curly's honesty and roundabout compliment.) Rhonda (bowing her head to him)
Well, thank you, Curly. That was very nice of you.
(He bows his head in solidarity. She continues earnestly.)
I guess you acting like a total freak sometimes is just your way of showing me how much you care.
(Curly is visibly very flattered by her words. She smiles genuinely at him for the first time.)
And the truth is, I think you're... Well, you're an okay guy.
Curly (looking down slightly)
Thanks...
(He snaps his head back up with a manic grin and wiggling fingers.)
So how about giving me a lock of your hair to keep under my pillow?
Rhonda (recoiling in disgust)
Aah! That is unbelievably gross!
Curly (erratically)
Is it? Or does it thrill you?
(Curly starts to chase Rhonda down the street, laughing maniacally) Rhonda
Aah! Stop! You're crazy! Get away from me!
(The episode ends with a circle wipe on the two chasing.)