Arnold is eager to do a book report, and decides to do it on his favorite author, Agatha Caulfield, who turns out to be the opposite of who Arnold thought she was.
Plot[]
In Mr. Simmons' classroom, Arnold finishes reading a story by his favorite author, Agatha Caulfield. This is part of an assignment that Mr. Simmons is having the class complete; sharing who their favorite authors are, then writing a report on their lives, and their impact on the kids' lives. Gerald suggests Arnold get the information for his report from the encyclopedia, but Arnold wants to go a step further. He decides to find out everything he can about Agatha Caulfield and her life. But, after checking the library and the company that publishes her books, he finds that Agatha hasn't written a book in years, and there is little information about her whereabouts. Arnold is about ready to give up when Sheena's uncle Earl overhears him talking about "Haggy Aggie Caulfield." Earl says that Agatha lives in a cabin on Elk Island, and offers to take him there in his boat for 50 cents. He adds that Agatha hasn't had any guests to her house in years.
Despite this, Arnold knocks on her door. Agatha angrily answers, wanting to know what Arnold wants. Arnold explains his assignment, and wants to interview Agatha for his report. Agatha refuses, yelling at Arnold to leave before going back into her house. Arnold returns home and talks to Grandpa Phil. He wonders how someone who wrote such great stories could be so mean. Phil tells Arnold a story from his childhood about "Mr. Hock-Tooey," a man in his neighborhood who hated the kids so much, he would spit at them whenever they walked by his house. Phil walked up to Mr. Hock-Tooey and asked why the man was so mean, even when he and his friends did nothing. Mr. Hock-Tooey spit right in Phil's face. Arnold asks what the point of this story is. Phil explains that sometimes people are just mean for seemingly no reason, and the only way to know why is to ask directly, but that comes with the risk of getting a loogie in your face.
Arnold decides to return to Agatha's cabin, but stays just outside of her property line so she can't force him off. Agatha again yells at Arnold to go away, but Arnold insists that he won't leave until she answers his questions. He asks if she hates kids, and she responds that she hates everyone. She says that Arnold can stay outside as long as he wants, but she won't speak to him. Arnold does just that, and for the next few days, he returns to Elk Island to stand near Agatha's fence, waiting all day for her to speak to him. Eventually, Agatha gets fed up and agrees to the interview, if only to make Arnold leave. Arnold asks when she began writing, and if any of her works were based on her real experiences. Agatha is rude and sarcastic throughout the interview, saying that everything she wrote about hope and happy endings is lies and idealistic "hoo-ha." She yells at Arnold to leave one more time. Arnold says he will, but he isn't choosing another author to write about, since Agatha is still his favorite. This confuses Agatha, since she's been awful to Arnold this whole time. Arnold agrees, but he says that her books made him happy, and he still believes in the messages they tell. He feels that Agatha believes those same messages, but just doesn't believe in herself anymore. Arnold leaves, but Agatha seems to take Arnold's words to heart.
Later at school, Arnold gives his report, explaining that despite not writing for 10 years, and being a bitter, mean person, Agatha Caulfield is still his favorite author. Gerald finds Arnold's honesty in his report funny, but comforts Arnold, saying sometimes things don't turn out the way you plan. Some time later, Arnold is walking by a bookstore and notices something. A new book by Agatha Caulfield has been published: "The Weird-Headed Boy and The Mean Old Witch." Arnold (and nearly everyone in the city) reads the story that drew heavily from Agatha's experience with Arnold. The book ends with the message that even if you stop looking for magic, magic may find its way to you.
The episode closes on Agatha's cabin, where she can be heard typing on her typewriter, working on a new story.
