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"Best Man" is an episode of Hey Arnold!.


Coach Wittenberg wants to remarry Tish Wittenberg and asks Arnold to be his best man. The coach cares about winning almost as much as his wife, and Arnold teaches him that sometimes he has to make a few sacrifices.


Arnold, Helga and Stinky are walking home from a baseball game against the 5th graders. Helga is berating Arnold bunting a ball when he could have hit a home run. Stinky says it seemed like the right option at the time, and Arnold agrees, saying that sometimes sacrifices must be made for the benefit of the team. Helga points out that their team lost, so Arnold's point falls flat. Arnold says that winning isn't everything, and Helga just scoffs. She and Stinky leave, and Arnold heads to the boarding house, but he sees a familiar face waiting on the steps.

It's Coach Wittenberg, and he asks what Arnold was up to. Arnold explains the outcome of the game, and Jack says that sacrifice plays are for losers, adding that winning is what is important in life. He calms down and tells Arnold the real reason for his visit; he plans to renew his vows to Tish Wittenberg, and they are having a second marriage ceremony that weekend. He asks Arnold to be his best man, since he considers Arnold a true (and his only) friend. Arnold agrees, and he and Jack start planning. Meanwhile, Tish has met up with Helga in the park. She asks Helga to be her maid of honor, since her cousin is out of town to do so. Helga declines, not wanting to wear a frilly dress. Tish points out that Arnold will be the best man, and says it would have been cute to see him and Helga walking down the aisle. Helga can't help but imagine a real wedding between her and Arnold. She gets to the vows, and starts saying "I do," over and over. Tish asks why, and Helga snaps out of her daydream, saying, "I do...want to be your maid of honor."

Later, Arnold, Gerald, Stinky and Sid are at the tuxedo rental shop. Sid doesn’t like the tux, but Stinky loves it and says he’ll wear it to school on Monday. At the bridal shop, Tish is trying on her gown, while Helga tries a pink dress with ribbons and frills. Helga hates it, but Tish insists she’ll look like a angel once they get some alterations done. Tish tells Helga about how she met Jack. She was around the same age as Helga, and treated Jack the same way Helga treats Arnold. Tish would always challenge Jack to games, knowing that Jack hated losing more than anything. But, one day, Jack let Tish win a game, thinking she wouldn't notice. Tish did notice, and took that to mean that Jack liked Tish the way she liked him. They had been in love ever since, and Tish says someday, maybe Helga will feel the same about a boy in her life, and eventually marry him. Helga claims to hate mushy stuff, and declares she will never fall in love or get married. But, she has another daydream about marrying Arnold, and she again starts yelling, "I do! I do!" Tish again asks why, and Helga says, "I do...like this dress."

Later, Jack is with Arnold, picking out rings. The ones with the real gems are too expensive, so Jack wins one from a 25-cent capsule machine. Jack brings Arnold to their next destination, down the street from Tish's apartment. Tish emerges from the building, and overhears Jack telling Arnold how much he loves Tish and winning. Arnold says that Tish must be the most important thing to Jack. Jack quickly says no, and that he loves winning, air hockey, and Tish, in that order. He quickly adds that the order doesn't really matter, as those are his top 3 beloved things. Tish is heartbroken.

At the rehearsal dinner that evening, Jack is happy with the way things went. He and Arnold sit with Tish. Tish asks Jack if he is really going to eat all the food on his plate. Jack insists that he can and will, but Tish doubts it. Jack challenges her to an eating contest: first one to clean their plate wins. Tish wins handily, and this irritates Jack. Jack challenges her to a second round with chicken wings. Arnold tries to advise against this, but Jack declares he can beat Tish.

What follows is a montage of competitions, from eating to table football to jump rope. After Jack fails the jump rope contest, Tish has beaten Jack with a 5-4 score. Tish wants Jack to admit defeat, but Jack refuses. He wants to play one more game the following morning, air hockey at the arcade. Arnold points out that the wedding is the following morning, and Jack declares the wedding postponed until their competition is over. Tish agrees, and says whoever wins the air hockey game wins the whole thing. She storms off and Jack drags Arnold to the arcade for practice. Arnold thinks this has gone too far, and says that Jack must choose between Tish and winning. Jack says if he had to choose, he would pick Tish, but feels that she doesn't want to marry him now. Arnold says that she might want to be with Jack if he lets her win the air hockey match. Jack does not want to lose, but Arnold again asks Jack to consider if winning matters more than Tish.

The next morning at the arcade, the wedding party has gathered to see Jack and Tish compete. The game is a close match all throughout, and eventually the pair are tied. Tish says the next point will determine who(or what) is number one in their relationship. As the puck approaches Jack, Arnold's words echo in his head. He looks at Tish, and makes his decision. He moves his hand out of the way of the puck, and Tish scores the winning point. Tish gloats about her victory, and Jack says that Tish beat him fair and square, making her number 1. Tish is surprised, as Jack has never said that to her before. The two of them embrace.

Later, the wedding ceremony proceeds as planned. Tish and Jack renew their vows, and share a high-five instead of a kiss. They run out of the chapel and Tish tosses the bouquet. Helga catches it, and after seeing Arnold smile at her, faints. Arnold goes to help her, but she’s saying "I do," again. She snaps out of it and demands that Arnold stop touching her, so he drops her and heads outside. Jack thanks Arnold for being a great best man. Tish then asks Jack if he lost to her on purpose. Jack denies it, but Tish demands a rematch, wanting Jack to bring his A-game. The two of them drive off to the arcade while the wedding guests cheer for the couple as they drive away.

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