(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
Students, it is
my great honor to announce
that, our very own
Mr. Simmons has been chosen
as this year's city-wide
Teacher of the Year.
(STUDENTS CHEERING)
Oh, thank you, thank you,
thank... Thank you all!
Now, there's
even more exciting news,
a film crew is
coming into your class
in three days,
to film you in action.
The documentary will be called
A Day in the Life
of a Classroom.
They want to film me teaching
and all of you learning.
The documentary will
be shown on TV
on the Knowledge Channel.
I can't believe
we're gonna be film stars.
Do we have to wear
anything special?
Or prepare
any particular speeches
or presentations?
Can I have a cameo?
Are they bringing
us lots of food?
The answers
to all those questions are no.
(KIDS GROANING)
The documentary team
just wants to capture
a typical day
in our classroom.
Nothing pre-planned
or out of the ordinary.
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
STINKY: I'm gonna
slick back my hair.
HAROLD: I'm gonna
pretend I have no teeth.
SID: I'm gonna stick
my finger up my nose.
This is gonna be great.
All those lights and cameras.
I mean, just think,
all those people watching
our class on TV,
watching you
and how you teach,
and everyone in the class,
and everything they do
and say.
There's gonna be
millions and millions
of people watching you.
You are right, Arnold.
You are so right.
What was I thinking?
I have to prepare.
Prepare what?
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
What is this garbage?
It appears to be
a 23-page script
of a day in the life
of our classroom.
Well, I wouldn't call it
a script, per se, Phoebe.
It's merely
a collection of suggestions.
But I thought they were making
a documentary, Mr. Simmons.
Yeah. I thought
they just turn on a camera
and film
whatever the heck we do.
Well, this... is just
what all of you could say.
It's not like you have
to say exactly what I wrote.
Hey, get a load
of this stellar dialogue.
"'Who can tell me
what the state capital
of Nebraska is?'
"All the students'
hands shoot up.
"'Oh, my, all of you know.'
"'Well, Mr. Simmons,
you're just such
an inspiring teacher,
"'it was fun and easy
to learn geography.'"
(SNORING)
(LAUGHTER)
What you read was
out of context, Helga.
Now, what I want us to do
is just review this,
uh, collection
of suggestions a few times.
I just don't want
anyone to be nervous
when the film crew is here.
(YELPS)
"Aw, I'll never understand..."
Oh, no. No, no.
Not yet, Harold.
Not till I say "action."
Oh.
You two should switch places.
It'll be much better.
Do Harold
and I switch lines, too?
No, read the line
after your name, thanks.
Everyone ready? And, action!
(RUMBLING)
You have
the first line, Harold.
Sorry. I felt
a huge burp coming up,
and I was trying
to keep it down.
Okay. Again.
(KIDS LAUGHING)
And... action!
Oh, right. (BURPS)
"Uh, I'll never learn
how to multiply decimals."
STINKY: "Never say
never, Harold.
"It may seem like
an in-sur-mountable
challenge now..."
This documentary is
gonna take three hours
with these numbskulls.
(BOTH GIGGLING)
Cut, stop.
Non-supportive remarks
do not help the process.
Please, people, please.
Uh, Mr. Simmons,
is it "insturmountable"
or "insurmountabley"?
Neither. Let's start again.
Energy. Ready? Action.
"I'll present
my book report first."
"No, I want to."
I believe
that's my line, Sid.
"I'm better prepared,
I'll go."
"I'm also prepared..."
Hey, that's my line.
No, it's not.
Read your script.
Oh, I'm tired.
Can I sit down now?
I'm lost.
Mr. Simmons, if we're
required to do book reports,
do we need to choose a book?
Don't worry
about the book report.
We can use old ones.
But ain't that cheatin'?
No. No. Not technically.
Mr. Simmons, can we take five?
(KIDS AGREEING)
Quiet!
We have a lot of work to do!
A lot of work!
Now let's all calm down
and take it again
from page 11.
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
Oh... fudge. The bell.
Nobody move!
Tonight you have
one responsibility.
Go home and practice,
practice, practice.
Yes, Rhonda?
Should we do our own makeup
or will the crew do it?
Do your own. Now, remember,
tomorrow is showtime.
The film crew will be
here in...
Mr. Simmons, I don't think
this is such a good idea.
This script...
Arnold, it's
a very good idea.
It's just not
working right now.
Oh, I have a lot
of preparing to do.
Go, go, go,
go now, and practice.
Aw! I just hate this!
I have
so many lines to memorize.
Yeah. This script
is just a bad idea.
The film's supposed
to be spontaneous.
Well, it ain't gonna be,
football head.
Come on, Pheebs. Let's go
practice being spontaneous.
(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)
Cut, that's a wrap.
I must have fallen asleep.
I've gotta get dressed.
(TOILET FLUSHING)
(WHISTLING)
(LIVELY CHATTER)
Helga, please unhand Harold.
Curly, no improvising.
Keep your scripts near,
so you can refer to them.
Now, remember,
the important thing is
to have fun
and be yourself
and not be nervous. Oh...
Sugar! I don't
have time for this. (YELPS)
Mr. Simmons?
Ow!
I'm Daniel Newton. I'm here
to direct the documentary.
Oh! Oh, my, yes.
Okay, you're here.
Class, the director is here!
Let's all say, um,
hi to the director.
KIDS: Hi, director.
Uh, you can just
call me Daniel.
Hi, class!
Well, I'm ready
to get started
whenever you are.
Oh, but Daniel, don't you have
to set up, put up lights?
Mr. Simmons, I'm
a documentarian.
My job is to stay
out of the way,
to be invisible,
and just film
everything I see.
You teach and I'll document.
I film the truth.
So, we should just start?
We already have!
We have. We have!
Certainly. I just want
everyone to be natural.
Natural. Okay.
Uh, so, I guess we've started.
Uh, please remember
what we've been talking about
the past couple of days.
So, let's begin.
(SIGHS) Today, class,
we are beginning
our math section on decimals.
(KIDS GROANING)
Oh, come on, now.
So, who wants to start up
at the board? Harold?
Oh, yeah.
Ooh, I will!
Okay, great. Then come on up.
You have to be
quicker with your lines.
Stinky, why don't
you join Harold?
Uh, okey-dokey, Mr. Simmons.
Howdy, I'm Stinky.
Cut! Stinky,
you can't do that.
(SIGHS) You can't
talk directly into the camera.
Why are you still filming?
Can we stop?
I don't feel
like this is going well.
(CHUCKLES) We can start over.
But you just have to forget
that the camera
and I are here.
Okay. Oh,
could you say "action,"
and then we'll start?
It makes it more special.
Action.
Today, class, we're beginning
our math section on decimals.
(KIDS GROANING)
Oh, come on, now.
So, who wants
to start up at the board?
Ooh, I will!
Okay, great. Then come on up.
Stinky, why don't
you join Harold?
Okey-dokey, Mr. Simmons.
ARNOLD: Should I read
Harold and Stinky
the first decimal problem
from our math book?
Oh, that would
be perfect, Arnold.
Hello. I'm just delivering
this brand-new,
state-of-the-art stapler
you requested.
But I didn't
request a stapler.
Well, go ahead.
Keep it anyway,
Teacher of the Year.
♪ Hurray for me, yes
I'm on the TV ♪
So, where were we?
I was going
to read a math problem.
"I'll never learn how
to multiply decimals."
Never say never, Harold.
Hey, you skipped
a bunch of pages, Harold.
This is a disaster.
No kidding.
I'd rather watch paint dry.
People, no!
Harold, why don't you try
the math problem
before you give up?
Okay. You're right.
Hey, I'm... I'm really sorry
I skipped all those pages
in the script.
Arnold, why don't
you read the problem?
Sure. "12.58 times 15.32."
Sorry, Mr. Sim...
Not now, Harold.
Hey, Mr. Simmons,
should we do the problem
even if we're not
up at the board?
Ixnay on the idea-ay,
Id-say. What a moron.
(KIDS LAUGHING)
(GRUMBLES) Oh, no!
This isn't working.
This isn't working at all.
Everyone, stop.
Just stop what you're doing.
Can we stop, please?
None of you are following
the... the... are...
are doing
what we talked about.
They're not cooperating.
Mr. Simmons?
Bad time, Arnold. Bad time.
Oh, why, why,
why can't it be perfect?
So, now what do we do?
Cut to a commercial?
Mr. Simmons,
are you all right?
Oh, I'm fine. I'm just fine.
Ugh. I just wanted
everything to be perfect.
I just wanted to be
the best teacher I could be.
Who am I kidding?
You saw what happened.
But you are a good teacher.
You don't need
a script to show that.
Just be yourself.
Myself. But that's
not good enough.
This is television.
Of course it's good enough!
You're the Teacher
of the Year.
And you should be.
We all like you
because you love to teach
and make it fun
for us to learn.
That's all
the documentary wants to show.
Not a perfect day.
Just a regular day
in our classroom.
Really?
And, so I apologize
to all of you
for going
a little nutso there,
and wanting everyone
and everything to be perfect.
I know Daniel just wants to
film a regular, unscripted day
in our special,
exciting classroom.
So, let's do it! Action!
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
People, our show's
about to start.
(KIDS CHEERING)
FEMALE NARRATOR: And now,
the Knowledge Channel presents
A Day in the Life
of a Classroom.
We're here at P.S. 118
in Mr. Simmons'
fourth-grade class.
Aw, I hate decimals!
You can do it, Harold.
He'll never do it.
Helga, I seem to remember
you got an A
on your last few math tests.
I have an idea.
Why don't you go up
to the board and help Harold?
Oh, brother.
I'll bet you'd be
a very good teacher.
And so, you take the five
and multiply it to seven
and then what you do is,
you move the decimal point
over four numbers
and there's the answer.
MR. SIMMONS: Harold,
I'm very proud of you.
Actually, I'm proud
of all of you and...
I couldn't imagine
a better group of students
to spend every day with.
Okay. So, who's ready
for a pop quiz on fractions?
(KIDS ON TV GROANING)
MR. SIMMONS: Just kidding!
Let's get to work on building
our walk-in space station
for the city science fair!
KIDS: Yay!